The Death Of Edward Cullen
by Zosie
Summary: Edward Cullen made Bella Swan's life a misery from day one.  Now an accident has resulted in a whole new Edward waking up in hospital.  Can he make up for the past and earn her forgiveness?  M  Edward and Bella exclusively, no other partners for either.
1. Chapter 1

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Prologue

Bella Swan parked her ancient red truck in the far side of Forks High School carpark and looked around carefully. Just because she couldn't see Edward Cullen didn't mean for one minute he wasn't out there, preparing yet another way to humiliate her as she alighted and attempted to make it to the safety of the school building. There seemed to be nobody in the immediate area and she could see Jasper and Emmett both pulling in to park. Emmett drove a massive 4x4 Jeep, Jasper a sexy red convertible. Both screamed 'money' but neither boy acted like that made them any better than the other students here who mainly came from ordinary families with ordinary incomes, and thus meant their cars were second-hand, older models, bought for safety first and style and looks second.

Edward Cullen's Aston Martin v12 Vanquish was nowhere to be seen, and he was always arrogant enough to park in full view, not bothered it gave away his presence here. Because if she somehow avoided him in the carpark, he always got her later.

The remains of the science lab he had set on fire were in her view and she shook her head at the outrage that little display of arson had caused. He would probably be suspended, even though everyone knew his father Carlisle had offered to cough up the money for rebuilding to take place. Thank God he had chosen midnight to light it up, and not during the day when it was full of students.

Bella held on to the belief Edward was not irredeemable, he could have killed them all yet he chose to set about his destructive path at night instead. Shocking as it had been, he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. He was the chief suspect in many similar crimes around town, but her father had never found sufficient evidence to prove his guilt, and on the plus side, he had torched that damned bar that barely concealed it's true dual purpose as brothel and drug dealing network. The town was a better place for it's loss.

The Science lab had been his only provable crime, because it had been witnessed by two students who were making out in the school grounds for want of a better place to express their lust and desire for one another.

The torching of one of the teacher's cars had been a close call. The Principal had known who did it, but was unable to prove it but he suspended Edward none the less.

Oh those sweet weeks of freedom for them all while Edward was under house arrest. She had actually cried the day his sentence ended and he was back.

She wasn't the only student Edward enjoyed making life a misery for, but she apparently reacted in the most satisfactory manner for him, so while some of the others got the occasional day free from his torture, there was never any respite for Bella.

She waved madly and both the enormous Emmett and the slimmer, tall but fit Jasper walked towards her. Jasper help out a hand and took her bookbag and Emmett practically lifted her down from the truck.

"Bella Swan's personal body guards reporting for duty," Jasper grinned, taking the hand not held by Emmett.

Even though Bella felt like a three year old being assisted into kindergarten, having these two boys on her side was such a relief she really didn't care how anyone reacted. The rumours she was partaking in threesomes with them both was laughable, neither boy saw her 'that' way, they were all friends. Friends from kindergarten in fact.

Life at Forks had never been perfect. Bella's Mom had absconded with a travelling sportstar when she was seven years old and that's around the time the Cullen's took in a new foster son.

Everybody had clapped in approval, look at the two boys they already had. Emmett McCarty, so big for his age but what a lovely polite boy and that Jasper, so handsome, so musical, even at seven.

It seemed everything the Cullen's touched turned to gold.

The hospital had been about to be closed when Dr Carlisle Cullen moved into town and took over, a last ditch chance to save it, and he had turned it into the amazing facility it was now. An example to small towns around the country. Efficient, well staffed, fully equipped, some folk chose to come here to Forks just to be able to use the facility themselves rather than the rather run down but larger hospitals in Port Angeles, and people even travelled from Seattle if they had fair warning they were to be hospitalized and could stand the three hour drive.

Then there was the 'interior decorating' business started up by an ambitious but overly optimistic Renee Swan, that had long closed down. Esme Cullen took it over and revitalized it and now it was probably the most profitable thriving business in town, employing a dozen staff.

Considering the second most successful business was Newton's Outfitters that sold hiking and camping gear, and they had a steady flow of tourists to keep them going, it was quite remarkable that Esme was doing so well.

Barely a house in Forks had remained untouched by her in some way. She happily did single rooms if that was all the house owner could afford and there was not one sitting room left now that hadn't received the Esme Cullen touch to bring it up to date and give it style and class, often making it clash madly with the untouched rooms of the house, but no housewife in Forks wanted anything more than the Esme treatment.

It was the most requested birthday wish that Esme come back again and redo another room, usually the main bedroom was second on the list.

Women proudly showed off their showcase sitting rooms and if they also had their bedroom done, they knew they were the envy of the less fortunate who were still scrimping and saving for their turn. A generous discount for staff members houses meant she never had to look for a replacement if a staff member quit, she had applicants to fill that job coming unbidden to her, waving their resumes, begging for an interview.

And then she had those two foster sons who had come from such bad places and it was as if she had some magic wand, and she tapped them with it and made them happy and contented and all was right with their worlds again. They forgot their earlier lives as if they had never existed, and became the epitome of well raised little gentlemen seemingly overnight.

So, the news a third boy was joining the family was greeted with nothing but cheer and optimism. Nobody had a single doubt Esme would tame this wild child, despite his truly horrendous start in life.

They were wrong.

Edward Cullen had been too abused, too traumatised, for any good to be able to bring about any change his little tortured soul, and soon most parents were on the receiving end of apologies from the good doctor and his wife.

They were baffled about how to help the little boy who screamed through the nights and struck out at anyone and everyone by day.

Counselling helped, mainly for those hurt by him, and it soon became habit for adults and children alike to simply avoid contact with the monster in their midst.

As he grew and aged and reached puberty, Esme found herself praying to a God she had never considered existed before Edward came along.

_Please lessen his anger, please help my son find peace and fit in. Please do not let him hurt anyone else. Please God. I know you sent him to us for a purpose and I accept you move in mysterious ways but this is beyond the pale. Carlisle is getting to the point where he is considering giving up and banishing the boy back to a Youth Center and if that happens, you know he will never get another chance. Nobody will fall for his pretty looks and emerald eyes now at this age. Please tell us how to tame him. Amen._

God appeared to be busy and not take her calls, and Edward continued his reign of terror.

It was nothing for Bella to find her truck egged, or decorated with toilet paper, or insults painted along the sides, so she was always mentally preparing herself as she walked into the car park of an afternoon. Today had been an amazing day. Edward Cullen had not appeared at school, and thus peace had reigned for once. And it was her father's birthday so maybe God smiled upon her and gave her this respite from terror for this one single day. She would have time to bake a cake for him instead of scrubbing the latest muck from her vehicle.

She had no doubt tomorrow he would be back, and maybe double his efforts but for today, her clothes were clean and not besmirched with the school dinner tossed over them, or chocolate pudding placed on her chair so it appeared she had suffered an unfortunate accident. No chicken feathers were clinging to her long brown hair, no graffiti on her desk outing her as the world's biggest whore or lesbian, and no soda spilled into her backpack to leak out and puddle on the ground to appear she had wet herself.

Today had been an excellent day.

Emmett and Jasper inspected the truck for booby traps and gave her a high five.

"He must have skipped school, he was up and dressed as usual when we left. Maybe he's going to find playing truant more amusing than hassling you from now on," Emmett said hopefully.

He was often sorely tempted to just give up and beat his foster brother to a bloody pulp but Carlisle had expressly forbidden any of that type of behaviour and due to his size, Emmett himself had never been the recipient of Edward's anger and self loathing.

Mind you, if he ever came across Edward Masen Snr or Mrs Elizabeth Masen, he would not hesitate to beat those two to death.

Whatever they had inflicted on their only child in the seven years they had him in their house had ruined both his life and the lives of everyone he touched.

Emmett had actually considered himself somewhat hard done by, with his own bio's unable to grow up and be responsible for his well being and put his needs ahead of their own need for drug taking. But now he knew even back then, he didn't have it so bad.

He had always been given food of a kind, even if bio Mom did consider a diet of Coke and Cheetos adequate nutrition, and they left him home alone more often than not, in a crib at first until he grew large enough to climb out, then locked in his bedroom until he broke the window. He was found wandering the main highway semi naked in the snow one night when he was barely four and had been taken away from them, and still he knew he had the better start.

Nobody had ever raised a fist to him, or tied him to a bed for days on end. Nobody had stubbed their cigarettes on his body, or left him black and blue from head to toe when he had misbehaved.

He and Jasper had not been told specifics, just that Edward's behaviour was not of his own making, his start in life had simply been to horrific to leave him unscarred on his soul as well as his body.

Emmett's parents were more benign neglectors than physical aggressors.

Jasper had had things good by comparison. His Mom had dual reasons to surrender him. her mental health issues dogged her life from a young age and she didn't want her son to ever suffer as a result, or be at risk from her during a 'turn', when what was right and good became confused in her mind with what was wrong and bad.

Apart from that, she was just too poor to support him and had handed him over for his own good. She loved her son and had tried her best but was not willing to selfishly keep him with her if it meant he would never have enough blankets or warm clothes in winter, or school books, or food. She had put her boy first and given him to people who could provide those things as well as a stable and healthy mental environment. Jasper had only ever known love.

He'd come to the Cullen's family first, as an adorable two year old with no memory of his mother.

Esme had always told him about her, and how she was a nice lady who was just struggling with her health and finances, and that was why he had become their son instead.

Both boys quaked at what Edward must have endured, they both heard his screams at night.

They saw their father go upstairs to Edward's bedroom, after his wife had rushed ahead. They heard her attempts to calm the boy and Carlisle's bag was always called for and the screams would lessen and finally stop as the medication worked. Then the house would be silent except for Esme's sobs and Carlisle's word of frustration that years of love and care were achieving nothing, Edward was still suffering and so were they by default.

Would he ever stop striking out in his pain and rage? What would happen when he reached eighteen and they had no control whatsoever of him any more? Not that they really had any now, to be honest.

Carlisle really thought it would be best to give Edward up now, so someone better equipped to deal with him could help the boy, before he hit adulthood and became another statistic living in and out of jail and maybe mental institutions. God knows how anyone could help him , but his wife loved the copper haired devil, and he knew she would be heartbroken if they gave up.

He was truly between a rock and a hard place.

Jasper parked his car in the garage assigned to him when Carlisle had given him this, his very first car, and he locked the door and padlocked it for good measure, in case his foster brother ever decided to attack it if he became a little bored. Emmett did the same with his beloved jeep, and they made their way indoors. As always Esme was there waiting. Although she worked while they were at school, she strongly believed teenagers needed a mother in the house once they got home, and with a son like Edward, that was no surprise.

"Hello boys, where's your brother?" she asked, her voice a little anxious as always.

Jasper frowned.

"Mom, he wasn't at school all day. Didn't he stay home?"

Esme immediately became much more concerned and her face betrayed her alarm.

"I have to call your father," she gasped and ran to the kitchen phone on the wall, dialling the first stored number.

"I have to speak to my husband, it's an emergency," she stated, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

Emmett drained milk from the container from the fridge and looked at Jasper. Clearly the peaceful day had been the calm before the storm and the storm had just been upgraded to a hurricane warning.

"Carlisle? No, tell me. I mean it, just say it out loud. No, I can't bear to wait until you get home. Tell me."

"No, God no. No, don't let it be true," she cried and Emmett rushed to catch her as she slumped.

Jasper took the phone receiver and put it to his ear.

"What's happened Dad?" he asked, fearing the worst. Had Edward been laying in wait for Bella Swan to get home? He hadn't...God no, surely he wouldn't...

Thoughts of her being attacked, maybe raped, maybe even dead flew through his mind. They should have gone home with her. They should have kept her safe.

"Jasper, did you hear what I said? Your brother was found in the wreck of his car under the bridge, he's not going to make it. It seems he has been there all day. He was just found by a fisherman going to his favorite spot after school ended. He's pretty much dead, it's just a matter of doing the tests and pronouncing him and removing his body from life support. I'm sorry, but you need to look after your mother until I can get home. I'm counting on you and Emmett to keep her safe. I'll be there within the hour. Thank you, son, I know you won't let her do anything reckless."

Grief and a sense of futility filled Jasper. It was always going to end badly. It was either this scenario or Edward ended up going that step too far that Jasper had actually expected to hear had finally happened. He had always seen only death or life in prison as his brothers future options.

Jasper hung up the phone and walked slowly into the sitting room where Emmett was placing a cold wet compress on their mother's forehead as she lay prostrate on the sofa.

"Tell me, what did he do now? I can see it's really bad. God, we should have gone home with her," Emmett stated, echoing Jasper's earlier thoughts

"No, it's not Bella. Edward's dead. He crashed his car on the way to school this morning. Went over the guard rail on the bridge. He would have been hard to spot if nobody witnessed it happen. Someone just found him. We should have called Mom or Dad when he didn't turn up."

"Dead?" repeated Emmett, sitting down in shock.

"Shit. Dead? I can't believe it. I guess it was the only solution. At least he's at peace now. If there's any part of his soul left to be redeemed. He's done some pretty bad things, Jasper."

"If you believe in God then you know all the things Edward did were forgivable. He never killed anyone, he never forced any girl against her will. His crimes were of a nature where forgiveness is still possible," Jasper assured him.

Carlisle herded his sons inside the hospital and half carried his wife, with Emmett on her other side.

Jasper glanced at his cell phone and stopped.

"Bella's here, I'll just wait to walk in with her. Despite everything, she wants to say Goodbye," he murmured.

He waited and a red faced, tearful Bella walked to his side and collapsed into his arms.

"Hey, Bella, at least it's all over now. You've had nine years of him taking his hate of the world out on you, there must be a small part of you that feels a little relief. You are only human."

"I never wanted it to end like this. I never wanted him to die," she wailed, and Jasper shook his head at her endless faith and tolerance of his brother. Edward had done nothing to deserve her sympathy and understanding. She had never heard him at night, she only knew the mask he showed at school yet she still lacked the capacity to hate him.

They all stood around the bed and Esme and Bella cried silently. Their Mom smoothed the unruly hair off Edward's face and kissed his forehead.

"We failed you, Edward. We tried to give you a better life but we just didn't know how. I'm so sorry, my son. Our lives will always be better for knowing you. Don't doubt that."

"He has a beautiful soul," Bella said.

All eyes turned to her in shock.

"Can't you see it? Can't you see the aura that surrounds him? For all the pain and hurt he suffered, his soul is still pure and so beautiful," she said in awe.

She stepped forward and took his hand in her own and kissed his long fingers with her full somewhat pouty lips.

"Be at peace, Edward. I was always waiting for the day you would decide to show us how wonderful you really were, deep inside, I guess today is that day. I wish I had gotten to know you better. I forgive you for everything, and hope you find the salvation you are looking for on the Other Side. I'm truly sorry you never found it here."

Carlisle put his arms around his wife and nodded briefly at the doctor standing beside the life support machine.

"Say your goodbyes, boys, it's time."

Jasper spoke too quietly for them to overhear and Emmett struggled to find the words to express the way he felt. So torn, so pulled in both directions. He hadn't known what Edward's future held, but it had to be bad, so maybe this way was better. But to die at seventeen. It just wasn't fair, he had yet to find his place in the world, to find happiness, to feel love, to kiss a girl and fall under her spell. Edward had been cheated.

The machine blipped, slowed and became a steady monotonous whine as all signs of life left the body on the bed.

"Come on, we should go," Carlisle said, walking Esme from the room. Bella stood there, holding the dead boy's hand.

"You can go, I'm just not ready yet," she said and Jasper watched as she leaned forward and kissed his late brother fully on the lips.

Emmett smiled, Edward had that at least. His first kiss. His last kiss.

"We'll wait," he said and sat down on a chair.

A shuddering movement ran down Edward's body and the machine started it's persistent bleeping again.

Carlisle was back inside in an instant.

"This isn't possible, the life support is turned off," he said in shock as the heartbeat returned, steady, stronger, filling the room with the loud pulse of the heart monitor.

Edward's eyes opened and green stared into brown.

"Who are you?" he asked softly, in a voice so unlike Edward's it caused them all to pause in wonder.

"I'm Isabella Swan. Most people call me Bella. I've waited a long time to meet you."

"I'm Edward. Edward ...Cullen? Who are all these people?" he asked her.

She smiled.

"These are your family. This is your father Carlisle and that's your Mom Esme and Emmett and Jasper are your brothers."

"What happened to me?"

"You were in a really bad accident. We thought we'd lost you."

"I gather from that kiss you are my girlfriend?" he asked.

"Sure. Welcome home, Edward."


	2. Chapter 2

**YES! I knew you wouldn't let me down! I'm competing with my ex-Bossman and he's very cocky and sure he can get more reviews than I can so PLEASE keep reviewing and make me win!**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 2

Looking over the results of the catscan and MRI, Carlisle was filled with wonder. The area of brain destroyed in the accident was small, much less than expected and it seemed to be mainly where long term memory was stored.

Short tern memory was patchy at best but Edward did remember his Mother already and he recalled several events he had attended with Jasper and Emmett, even if he didn't yet know they were his siblings. He knew they were because he had been told that, but real knowing was still eluding him.

He mourned a little for the wrecked car that clearly had registered in his brain, and he seemed quite content to have Bella Swan at his side as soon as school finished each day.

He had no idea of the years of constant harassment he had inflicted on her, and was surprised to hear the school science building was being rebuilt after some vandal had destroyed it.

"What, on purpose?" he questioned Emmett, who regretted having mentioned the topic at all.

"Well, I guess maybe it could have been an accident," Emmett hedged. "Maybe someone tossed a cigarette butt too close to the chemicals or something," he finished lamely.

The two witnesses had described Edward pouring tins of petrol to be the accelerate, there was no chance it had been accidental.

"Crazy," Edward sighed and patted the side of his mattress as Bella entered with coffee in takeaway cups for all. "Teenagers today, that makes no sense. Destroying something you need for your own education. Are they sure it was a student?"

"Oh yeah, they have witnesses," Jasper confirmed, taking a cup.

"Well let's hope whoever did it enjoys prison sex," Edward smirked. He looked at the incredulous faces surrounding him.

"What? He isn't going to jail?" he asked in surprise.

"No, his father pulled in a few favors and paid for the rebuild, with a lot of expensive improvements and updated equipment," Jasper replied.

"Is that really going to teach the prick the right lesson? Won't he now think he is beyond the law and assume he can get away with whatever he likes?" Edward asked.

"Everyone deserves a second chance. He seems like a different boy these days," Bella said.

"Oh really? I would keep an eye on him and make sure he's not pulling a scam," Edward warned.

Emmett laughed.

"He's not that good an actor, believe me."

"Dad, when can I get back to playing baseball? I miss it like crazy," Edward complained and all present tried to hide their shock. He had never been a team player because nobody had ever wanted him on their team. He had never played sports, he was usually in the detention room in his permanently assigned chair, flicking pieces of wadded paper wet by his own saliva at the other students.

"Oh, I'd say a few weeks. Despite the fact the car was a write off, you seem to have come out of it relatively unscathed," Carlisle answered warily. The past two weeks since that day were surely long enough for the boy to revert, if he was going to. The brain damage was permanent, but ironically, a blessing. Maybe God had heard Esme's desperate prayers after all and fixed things the only way He could.

Esme was beside herself in joy at this new Edward. She desperately wanted him home, with her and that could happen any day now. There was no physical reason he was still here in this hospital bed, it was just his father's fear he would snap back into the Edward of old that made him so reluctant to discharge the patient.

The cracked bone in his ankle had healed enough, the bruises and contusions had all but disappeared. Edward was eating and thank God, sleeping all night with never the slightest nightmare to mar his dreams.

The boys were gradually relaxing around him and Bella Swan was positively blooming in his presence. It was as if she knew all along what lay beneath the flawed and violent exterior, and had waited for this new beginning.

God only knows what would happen if his brain healed and gave him back his memories. His father had done many more tests than necessary medically speaking, just for assurance the damage was still there and was looking truly permanent.

Carlisle read the results again and gave in.

"I think you can be discharged today but you tell your mother if you feel any different immediately. Any headaches, sleep disturbances... promise me, Edward."

"Sure Dad. Can Bella come to dinner? I'd really like to have her see me in real clothes, not these pajamas," he laughed.

"Um, well, we _could _ ask the Chief if that would be okay, I guess," Carlisle answered. It had taken all his powers of persuasion to convince the Chief that his daughter was perfectly safe visiting Edward in the hospital, surrounded by staff and doctors who could sedate the boy at the first sign of any change in his personality. Convincing him to let her visit the house was a different matter all together. Charlie Swan knew too much about what the old Edward had been capable of. He was not convinced the monster inside was dead. He suspected it was merely sleeping, biding it's time, waiting for the right opportunity, and he wasn't willing to risk his daughter's life if the monster came back stronger and more depraved than it's last incarnation.

"Maybe the Chief would enjoy a home cooked meal himself," Esme cut in, offering a solution. If Charlie Swan was there with his trusty sidearm, then surely nothing could go wrong?

Edward showered and dressed while his parents called the Chief and extended the invitation.

Esme walked at her son's side, holding onto his arm, assisting his shaky legs up the front stairs into the house. Edward frowned and looked around the room.

"Have you changed it? I don't remember some of this furniture," he said with his voice betraying a slight panic.

"Your mother is an interior designer, I never know what I am coming home to. She went from an old West theme to ancient Japanese once, in a single day. I thought I was in the wrong house," Carlisle answered.

Edward walked around the house, frowning often, clearly trying to recall if this piece or that was new since his absence. He paused at the large white grand piano on the raised platform in the reception area and ran his fingers over the keys, then sat down in front of them.

"Do I play?" he asked. Esme had bought the piano maybe four or five years ago in her constant search for some hobby to appeal to Edward but he had merely kicked the nearest piano leg and the mark was still there, on the otherwise pristine shiny surface.

Carlisle shrugged and shot Esme a warning look.

They both stopped in awe as he started to play something so beautiful and intricate surely only a concert pianist was capable of playing.. Esme made no effort to hide her tears.

"Did I write this? I have a feeling I wrote it for you, Mom."

Esme walked closer and sat beside him and listened as he played song after song. Most were well known classics but all the same, Edward had never touched a piano with anything but his foot in his lifetime. How could this have happened?

"I remember my first lesson. I was three, wasn't I?" he asked with a smile. Neither of his parents could answer that but it seemed terribly unlikely that the Masen's had ever exposed their son to music.

"I should start dinner, but please keep playing," Esme answered, sidestepping the issue.

Edward stopped mid song and went back to walking around the room, looking at the framed photographs of himself and his brothers, sometimes with their parents.

"No baby photos? Were we that ugly?" he asked, and Carlisle laughed. He was unsure of the best answer. A direct lie? _We lost them all in a fire when you boys were seven._ Or something nearer the truth? He had no idea if anything would trigger his son's memories back again and had no desire to find out.

"Your mother likes changing everything around. Sometimes the photos are of our wedding, then there will be a display of you boys as kids, and sometimes the ones from last year get to take their place. You never know what will be on show here next."

Edward seemed happy enough with that answer though he kept looking at the row of photos, showing the boys from age seven, eight, nine and ten.

"So, Emmett's always had the black curls, and Jasper is still as blond as ever and my hair was never manageable," he commented. "God, look at me, I must have hated having my photo taken. I look like I'm about to go postal in every shot."

"Some kids hate sitting still for a single minute," Carlisle stated.

"My hair is Esme's color but how come she got the gentle waves and I got this mess?" he asked, running his hand through his overlong locks.

"Genetics is a mystery all right." Carlisle waited. At some point Edward would become aware all three sons were the same age. Would anyone with triplets really be able to resist a large baby photo of their adorable offspring hogging the limelight?

"Could I see my bedroom? I don't remember it at all," he admitted and Carlisle led him up both flights of stairs, wondering how to answer the inevitable question. _Why do I get an entire floor to myself? Why are all your bedrooms on the second level and I alone have the third?_

The truth would hurt him. The reasons were, firstly, it seemed prudent to at least give them all some warning, when he came downstairs. They would all hear his footsteps on the treads and know he was coming.

The other was, the night screaming. It was dulled somewhat by being on the higher level, and hadn't always woken the other boys.

Edward walked in and looked around. He patted things with one hand, greeting them as if he had never seen them before. The long black leather couch by the glass walls. The large metal framed bed with it's elaborate roses interwoven with leaves on the bedhead. God knows why he had chosen this bed as a seven year old but it was the only one he would consider having when he first came to them and Esme had wanted him to help choose his own furniture.

The desk, with his iMac, and the music system set up to echo around the entire massive room. It had not been a bedroom before he came, but a large extra sitting room, but Edward had chosen it and Esme had refused to deny him anything.

The room next door had been converted into a walk in closet and a en suite bathroom, and he examined both. He touched the black jeans hanging in his closet and looked critically at the black leather jackets and artistically torn Tshirts. He paused at the suit, a necessity for a boy who appeared in court as often as he had.

"Well, it seems I have a very eclectic taste in clothing," he stated.

"Feel free to buy some new stuff, maybe not in black? Esme would welcome that."

"I don't seem to like color, that's for sure," he said, mystified.

"Your mother would love to take you clothes shopping," Carlisle assured him.

"You know who I would prefer to go with," Edward replied, sitting down on the bed.

"Bella?" his father guessed.

"I imagine I would like whatever she chose for me to wear. Dad, do I sleep with her? Are Bella and I having sex because my dreams in that hospital seemed to be all about the two of us being together in that way."

"No, definitely not. I know your relationship was all pretty new, practically the very day of the accident. I don't expect anyone at school will even know you two are an item so be prepared for them to be surprised."

What an understatement. General catatonic shock was a possibility, especially amongst the teachers who had tried to assist Bella, lending her clothing, washing her wounds after Edward's unprovoked attacks with flying missiles and tripping her up as she walked into class.

Her limbs were marked with small scars he had caused over the years. The worst injury had been the broken leg last year. Had Bella not told her father she had fallen off the bleachers herself, he would have been charged with GBH.

Carlisle himself had provided her with mace and a rape whistle and her father pressed pepper spray onto her on every occasion and the boys were always on lookout. That day she had been lost in the pages of Romeo and Juliet and forgotten the number one rule. Be aware of your surroundings.

Emmett was playing football with the school team right there in front of her. Jasper had gone to get them both bottled water because it was rather sunny for a change. He had erroneously thought he could see Edward in the bleachers across the other side of the field but it proved to be another student entirely, a new boy with somewhat similar hair.

Edward had approached Bella where she sat engrossed in her story and had sat beside her, teasing her, tormenting her, calling her a nerd and a bookworm, suggesting she had better marry Romeo because no real life boy would ever want her. She had shuffled away from him, ending up at the very edge and she had jumped to her feet, missed her footing and she fell from the tenth level.

Her leg had twisted under her and snapped in a sickening sound that had sent Edward off running, screaming for help for her, and he had lessened his attacks considerably after that, and reverted back to simply annoying rather than dangerous. It could be argued either way whether he was responsible for her fall or not. She had always been clumsy but she had also always been truthful and called him out on every other thing he had done to her, so maybe it had been an accident.

Edward hadn't come home that night. His father finally found him huddled on the floor of the forest, shaking, curled up in the fetal position, and the next day the heavy duty therapy sessions began.

Nobody actually saw what happened and Bella had loudly insisted she had merely fallen. The Cullens' all suspected otherwise and that had been the first day Carlisle had seriously considered having the boy removed from his home and care.

Bella Swan herself had pleaded his case, saying he was clearly sorry, even though he hadn't _done_ anything in the first place.

Carlisle had been shattered, had she fallen differently, she could have died. He had almost gone to the Chief and told him to arrest the boy but between the begging pleas Esme and Bella and the new therapist's confidence that the forest breakdown was a major breakthrough, he had gone against his instincts and waited.

He had suggested counselling for Bella as well, as it worried him she might be a victim of 'battered wife syndrome'. One didn't need to be married to the abuser to put up with assaults and go on his side and defend him.

Bella was not a weak person and the therapist had concluded she had merely fallen. She clearly had her breaking point and if Edward ever reached it, all Hell would break loose. He didn't feel she would snap and kill him but she certainly would hand him over to her father.

Or beat the daylights out of his beloved car.

Probably with a brick.

Carlisle had already decided Edward got one car and no more. If it came home defaced, it stayed that way until the boy got a part time job and paid to have it fixed.

In the circumstances of the crash, he would replace the car but with something safer. He had checked out the Volvo S60R and placed an order. The car would be here within days.

He showed Edward the other rooms on the top level. The library, which he suspected the boy had never entered; the media room that all three boys spent many hours in watching dvd's, the sitting area that had a balcony off it, overlooking the backyard and the pool.

Edward was impressed in a way he had never been before.

"Are we rich?" he asked, and his father smiled.

"We are comfortably off," he replied."Now go and rest before the Chief and his daughter arrive. Edward, I think I should warn you, Charlie Swan doesn't like you, at all."

"Why not?" he asked, both puzzled and hurt.

"You have always teased Bella at school and pretty much made her life a misery with your pranks. Last year one went too far and she fell and broke her leg. You were exonerated by Bella herself but her father doesn't trust you. You need to prove you are a changed man if you want to have any hope of ever being with her."

"Why didn't she tell me? Why is she even my girlfriend then?" he asked.

"I guess she sees a different person to the one most people see when they look at you. She is all for giving you a second chance but I think if you ever put one foot out of line, you will be history. This is your last chance, keep that in mind at all times."

"Where are the boys? Can I ask them about this?"

"Sure, I'll send them up. I think they are polishing their cars, it is Friday."

Jasper and Emmett were both somewhat damp from the water fight that preceded the car washing and polishing but both relaxed with a Coke and faced their brother.

"Tell me the worst. Did I push her or did she fall?"

"She fell but she wouldn't have been at the edge had you not been harassing her," Jasper replied.

"So, I hurt her? Have I ever hurt her before?"

Emmett locked eyes with Jasper.

"Shit, I have. What did I do?"

"Tripped her with your feet, closed doors in her face, knocked into her when the ground was icy. Nothing that bad and we are talking about ever since we were seven. Mostly you just desecrate her old truck and write nasty things on her books and take her lunch, things like that."

Edward sat still and wondered what the hell had possessed him. And it had started when they were little kids?

"Why seven? Didn't I know her before that?"

"No, you didn't," Emmett replied warily. They had been warned about bringing up any past prior to Edward joining the family.

"Why does she even talk to me, let alone want to be my girlfriend?" he asked, perplexed.

"Bella's just a really nice person and she has always seen beyond the obvious. She always knew there was a better, different, Edward inside and now here he is, out in the open."

"Did I hurt anyone else?"

"You annoyed the crap out of every teacher and did stupid but harmless pranks on some kids, but Bella has always been your main focus."

"I have so much to make up to her," he stated.

"You sure do. You are so lucky Bella believes in giving everyone, no matter how vilely they treated her, a new chance."

"How many second chances has she given me already?" he asked.

"It hasn't been like that. You never wanted to change before. She just put up with your bull shit and we tried to always protect her. I hope you stay this way, the way you are now. I have some serious girl chasing to do now we won't have to be stuck to Bella's side," Emmett replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes, Emmett, because you never got to go after girls before," Jasper said sarcastically.

"But now I can chase them properly and get seriously acquainted with the inside of the janitor's closets," Emmett answered.

Edward frowned. "Do you have just one girl in mind? You don't want to sleep around, surely?"

Emmett choked. "Come on, it's what boys our age do. We hook up with as many girls as we can persuade to let us inside their panties. Like you are going to hang on to your v card much longer. You used to look at all the girls and discuss in which order they would be on the receiving end of your dick one day soon. Don't tell me the new Edward is also going to be a prude."

"So I didn't ever actually _…_." he asked in horror and panic.

"Nope, you were still working out who would be first."

"And I never _…_.touched...Bella...in that way?" he choked out desperately.

"No, Edward. You aren't a rapist. You never touched anyone 'inappropriately' as the principal puts it."

"Thank God for that," he gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

**If you hate lemons, you wouldn't be reading my stuff, right, so I don't have to warn you?**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 3

"Dad, please remember, he is important to me," Bella pleaded as Charlie headed the cruiser towards the Cullen house. Of course he had his own truck at home but it never hurt to _remind _certain people just who he was, and the position he held here in this town. Edward Cullen was one such resident.

"And _you_ are important to me. And I strongly suspect I don't know half of what he has inflicted on you over the years. You have a lot more scars that you ever explained."

"Oh, you _wanted _details? You never seemed that bothered and you know how unco-ordinated I am. You can't blame every mark on my flesh on Edward. Look, this is where I fell down the stairs in the ballet studio that time. Did I remember to give you a blow by blow report? I slipped on the top step, kind of twisted as I went down, bumped my left knee..."

"I get it. But I bet there are plenty he did cause and you never told me about. And don't think for one minute I've forgotten about the broken leg."

"That I caused by missing my step on the bleachers. Are you ever going to let that go? Edward DID NOT push me off them. Do you need that in a sworn affidavit?"

"I just believe accountability is the key to raising thugs like him. If he never gets punished, he never learns the consequences of his actions."

"Dad, he doesn't even remember half his actions. Could you please let it go for one night?"

"Bells, has it ever occurred to you maybe his parents invited me for a reason? To give the boy a subtle warning that this act, if that's what it is, better be permanent if he thinks he gets to swan about this town free and clear. He turns eighteen next week, don't think I haven't had that date marked on the calender at work for over a year. It was the first date I circled in fact, before I even marked your birthday."

"Thanks Dad," she replied dryly.

"Yes siree, on that date Edward Cullen becomes a fully fledged adult and can be charged and tried as such. I admit I am looking forward to it rolling around."

Charlie parked the car as conspicuously as possible, so anyone looking from any front window of the house could not fail to see it, and slammed his door shut. Bella took the container of small sweet tarts of various fillings she had baked and shut her door quietly. She knew everyone inside knew they had arrived, by her father's little show of power.

Charlie marched ahead and rapped authoritatively on the front door. It opened instantly and the small brown haired girl who opened it caused both Swans to pause.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" Bella asked.

"I'm the hired help. I'm serving dinner but don't worry, I didn't cook it. Esme did. She just wants to remain at the table at all times to, um, keep the peace?"

"That won't be a problem, will it, Dad?"

"I shall be on my second best behaviour," her father promised and Bella bit her lip and shook her head.

Alice took their coats and hung them up in the foyer and led the way.

"Chief Swan and his daughter, Isabella," Alice announced with a grin, taking the tarts.

"Charlie, so good of you to come," Carlisle said, walking towards them and shaking the Chief's hand. "Bella, always nice to see you. Come on in."

Esme was waiting and she pulled a surprised Bella in for a hug and kiss and then offered the Chief her own hand.

"Mrs Cullen," he acknowledged.

"Please, call me Esme, we have known each other a long time, Charlie." She knew exactly what he was doing. They may be Esme and Carlisle but he was still in his Chief of Police persona.

"Edward," Charlie said, stepping forward as the boy approached.

Edward offered his own hand but his eyes showed he wasn't sure if the Chief even wanted to take it.

Charlie paused, looking at the long fingers and pale hand, and then grabbed it with his own and squeezed tight as he shook it up and down. Edward decided to take it and not hold just as tightly back. This was the alpha male showing the cub his place and he would accept it without protest. He was frankly amazed the Chief had even turned up, and allowed Bella anywhere near him.

"Edward, you look well, boy."

"Yes, thank you, Chief. I seem to have had a miracle escape."

"You've been a very lucky lad so far," Charlie agreed. His eyes narrowed as he looked the boy over. He could see why girls saw this boy as attractive. He did have pleasing features and that hair thing going for him. He was tall and fit, and subtly strong. Of course, he was a little too pretty and God knows why women like the pretty boys when there are real men here in the world.

Edward's eyes warmed as they drifted to Bella.

He longed to talk to her in private but he had noticed they had never been left alone at any point since he woke up in the hospital.

Always the body guards, be it Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle or even his mother. He was obviously not trusted alone with her.

Emmett and Jasper entered the room and walked straight to Charlie, and he shook their hands in an open friendly manner and greeted both boys.

"So, thank you, Emmett and Jasper. Your services have been invaluable over the years. Don't think I haven't appreciated it and I know you kept Bella safe when I couldn't. So, cheers, men."

Carlisle handed out beer to the Chief and soda's to the underage members of the party and they stood around eying one another up. Charlie's eyes flicked from his daughter to the boy in question and he bristled at the warm smile Bella was giving this unworthy lad. And, worse, Edward was smiling just as warmly back. Their eyes were fixed on one another and he felt completely uncomfortable with that.

"So, Edward, almost eighteen. That's a great age. An adult. With all the responsibilities that come with it," he said flatly.

"Yes sir, I am looking forward to my birthday," Edward replied, tearing his eyes from Bella to her father.

"Not as much as I am," Charlie replied.

"Dad!" Bella hissed a warning.

"At eighteen, you become truly accountable. It's lucky for you the burning of the Science Block took place when it did, because not even Carlisle could have placated the school board had it happened just a couple of months later."

Edward's eyes narrowed.

"What would you think was a suitable way for the perpetrator to show he truly is repentant?" Charlie asked.

Edward shrugged, confused.

"At least six months of community service. Maybe helping at the homeless shelter? Maybe that would make the person responsible aware that he needs an education to escape a similar fate. Maybe then he would appreciate the opportunities he is lucky enough to be offered."

"We should look into that. It sounds like a start. Better than a jail term if others benefit," Chief Swan agreed.

"I'm sure all eighteen year old boys still have some maturing to do," Carlisle suggested.

"Yes, let's see, they could join the military, learn some discipline, prove themselves to be men, for one thing," Charlie replied, looking at Edward alone.

"I intend going to college and training as a doctor, sir. Follow my father's footsteps."

"Hmm," Charlie replied. "I'm sure Carlisle is a very suitable role model, much better than your actual father."

Edward faltered and looked confused. His eyes flicked to Carlisle and then Esme and both paled.

"Charlie, Edward has some gaps in his memory still. We haven't wanted to rush too much information onto him at once. Edward, come with me for a minute. Excuse us," Carlisle said, taking his son's arm and leading him out of the room.

"Dad, I wish now I had let you bring your gun because I could use it to shoot you," Bella whispered violently in his ear.

"What? The boy has forgotten he's adopted?" Charlie said, looking shocked.

"He's forgotten a lot of things, Chief," Jasper replied.

"Let's see how the game's going," Emmet suggested and Charlie's eyes lit up. He had hated having to set the tivo to catch the playoff's and would have much preferred to stay in his own chair, Vitamin R in hand, watching it live.

Esme walked to Bella and held her in her embrace.

"I'm so sorry, he's just.." Bella stuttered.

"He's just concerned about his daughter around the boy who has bullied her unmercifully for most of her life," Esme answered quietly.

"But Edward didn't know..."

"He had to find out sometime. Tonight's as good as any, really. I begged Carlisle to sit Edward down and tell him the basic facts but he wanted him to remember himself."

Bella shivered.

"I hope he never remembers some things." Jasper had been given permission to let Bella in on his brother's rough start in life and she felt vindicated in keeping faith that there was a good and decent soul inside the shell that was Edward.

The menfolk cheered and slapped backs as their team scored and the two women walked to the kitchen where Alice was placing glasses and a jug of water on a tray.

"So, how's it going?" the pixie girl asked.

Bella shrugged and Esme smiled.

"A little hiccup, but we will be ready to be served in a few minutes, thank you Alice."

"Should I make Bella some tea? She looks kind of pale and shocked."

"Sure, good idea," Esme agreed. "I'll have one myself."

Alice buzzed about and soon all three were sipping tea and glancing out of the doorway, waiting for Carlisle and Edward to come back from the study, where the door was still closed.

"I'm so sorry. I should have told Dad everything but I promised Jasper..."

"There is no perfect way to handle this, Bella. I'm sure Edward will be okay."

They had barely finished drinking when the study door opened and a paler Edward emerged.

Carlisle went to gather the other males and Esme walked to her son's side and took his hand.

"We love you like you were our own. You are our own, Edward."

"Thanks, Mom. I don't deserve either of you," he replied, glancing quickly at Bella.  
>Dinner was subdued with the two father's exchanging fishing tales and Emmett kept a running tally on the sports score between courses, and Bella wished she had never insisted on coming.<p>

She should have known Charlie would put his rather large flat foot in it.

As Alice cleared away the dessert plates and started pouring coffee, Edward stood up, uncertainly.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone here at the table for my past behaviour and swear to you all, it _is_ all in the past. I will do anything in my power to make things up to everyone I ever hurt, including the High School. I can't imagine what sort of monster possessed me but I won't ever hurt anyone again. I promise you, Bella, while I can't even understand why I did what I did, I will never harm you again. If your father wishes me to stay away from you, I will."

Bella's face dropped and Charlie smiled at the boy for the first time that night.

"So, I guess you are on voluntary probation and only you can prove yourself to the rest of us," Charlie replied.

"Yes, Sir," Edward agreed. "Whatever restrictions you decide on are completely fair, I just hope you will allow me to continue talking to Bella and proving I can be an even better friend than the enemy I was all these years. I don't remember most of my crimes but I'm sure you will be happy to clue me in."

Charlie wriggled in his seat a little.

"I think the Chief and I should have a little talk before anything's decided," Carlisle suggested, standing up. Charlie nodded and followed suite and the two men made their way to the study.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. Dad doesn't know much about you except your record," Bella apologized as the study door closed behind her father.

"Bella, it's me who needs to apologize and I suspect I will never manage to make Charlie like me, but if he refuses to let us be friends, then I understand. I have to prove myself and I fully intend doing that."

"He can't keep us apart at school," she answered.

Edward smiled. "I guess that's true enough and if that's all I get, then it will be enough. For now."

Esme tried asking them all about how they were doing with their Senior Year soon ending, and Jasper and Emmett filled the silence with reports of the marks they were attaining in each subject. Finally, the father's reappeared and Charlie walked directly to the pale faced boy and stood before him.

"I apologize for speaking out of turn. I was unaware of the extenuating circumstances. I'm willing to give you a chance if my daughter is. Nothing unsupervised at first, but she does have my permission to visit you here if there is an adult in the house. And you are welcome to visit Bella when I am at home. Do we understand one another?"

"Yes, Chief, thank you,"Edward smiled, relieved.

"Well, I will say goodnight and thank you for dinner. Bella, I would like you home before midnight."

"I will drive her home myself," Carlisle assured Charlie.

"Actually, I saw the new Volvo in the driveway. I dare say Edward would like the opportunity to take it for a spin. If Bella calls me before she leaves and she arrives home seventeen minutes later, I am quite comfortable with Edward driving her. She will come directly inside, of course."

"Of course," Edward agreed.

Maybe all he would get was seventeen minutes alone with her, but that was seventeen minutes more than he had spent so far.

X~x~X

When his parents returned from seeing the Chief off, Edward stood before them and hoped they would trust him to take Bella upstairs. Things needed to be said and he would prefer no audience this time.

"May I show Bella my room?" he asked.

Carlisle frowned and Esme turned to him. "We need to start showing some trust and tonight's as good a time as any. I think if your door is open and you are happy with any of us wandering up at any time, then that would be okay. Do you feel comfortable with this, Bella?" Esme asked.

"Sure, yes, thank you," she replied and Edward smiled and took her hand.

He guided her up the staircases and into his bedroom and stood at the door while she walked inside, looking at everything in awe.

"You know you have a really cool room, right?"

"I'm very lucky," Edward answered.

"So, who chose your bed" Bella asked.

"I think I did. When I first came here and joined the family."

"Edward, it must have been such a shock to find out you aren't Carlisle and Esme's biological child. I'm so sorry. Dad had no idea you didn't know."

Edward walked in and sat on the bed and held his head in his hands, then looked up at her.

"It explains a lot. I couldn't understand how two such good people copped a son like me. Now at least I know I'm flawed from my very DNA. I don't remember that other life at all."

"I'm glad," Bella replied, siting beside him. She kept them a foot apart in case he didn't want her too close.

"To be honest, the main thing I don't understand in all this is you. Why didn't you, I dunno, have a hit put out on me ages ago?"

Bella laughed.

"I think I know just the man who would have done that for me, if I'd asked."

"Yeah, and he has his bullets paid for, it wouldn't have even cost him anything."

"Oh, I think he would even have willingly paid for the thirteen cent solution himself."

"Why did you say you were my girlfriend? We had barely spoken to one another, it seems. And on my side, I believe all I ever said to you was vile and horrible. I'm so sorry. But still, I don't get you."

"Maybe I always liked you. Maybe I looked at what you did as kind of the whole pulling the pigtails thing kindergarten boys do to the girl they like."

"I was horrid. I wish I could make it up to you."

"I'm sure I will let you try," she replied, smiling. Edward took her hand and kissed it.

"Thank you, Bella. Words are inadequate but they are all I have."

"They are all I want," she replied.

"I feel like I should buy you a car or something. I have a trust fund, it seems, from my natural grandparents estate. My bios were ineligible to inherit, seeing there was a question they may have both hastened their own parents' demises."

"I'm so glad you had Esme and Carlisle."

"I just wish I had appreciated it. I must have made their life Hell. I have no clue where to even start making things up to them. Or you."

"Well, I don't know about them, but you could kiss me," Bella suggested.

Edward's eyebrows rose.

"I could? You would let me kiss you?"

"Edward, I've dreamed about you kissing me since I was about twelve."

"But you should have hated me."

"I guess I'm not normal. I never dreamt about killing you but I sure dreamt a lot about kissing you," she smiled.

Edward edged closer and cradled her face in his hands.

"You are a very special person, Isabella Swan. I'm so lucky to know you."

"And you could get even luckier and kiss me," she prompted.

Edward laughed nervously and moved his face close to hers. Time seemed to stop as he sucked her full lower lip inside his own lips, and he tasted her mouth with a sense of real awe. She tasted amazing.

His hands moved to pull her body in closer to his own and Bella wriggled in as well, her hands on his back and in his hair as she crushed them together. They felt right together, he couldn't think of a better word.

Right.

Like they were meant to be.

Her fingers roamed his scalp and massaged it through his hair and he would have settled for just that sensation but there was so much more. Her body was pressed so close it was inevitable that his would react so he kept his pelvis turned away so she would not detect the hardness in his jeans.

He felt her nipples harden beneath the thin blouse and clearly, equally thin bra and he sighed and pulled back to allow them both a chance to breathe.

"I have a feeling I have never kissed a girl before," he smirked.

"I wouldn't know, none at school anyway," she replied.

"Do they all hate me?" he asked.

"Nobody hates you. Wait, Mike may hate you. You did fill his locker with Cheese Whiz and ruin his porn magazines."

"Oh my God, that sounds unforgivable," he replied.

"There are going to be a lot of really incredulous looks when you come back all changed and good now."

Edward frowned. "Do you think anyone will accept I am changed now?"

"In time. You have to earn their trust. And you will have girls all over you in no time. You are the most beautiful boy in Forks High," she admitted.

"Am I?" he laughed. "I'm glad you think so, anyway. Your opinion is the only one I care about."

"We'll see. You'll have Rosalie Hale offering to take you into the janitor's closet...I mean, she was even willing before the accident. You spurned her."

"I did? Good for me," he said. "I never liked her for some reason."

"I didn't say she liked you. She just got a glimpse of your ..." Bella waved a hand vaguely at his lap. "She has this peep hole in the wall between the girl's and the boy's change rooms and she saw you in the shower and decided no matter how you acted, she still wanted a piece of you."

"That will never happen," he assured her and leaned in to feel those full lips and that strange buzz her body made his feel. It was a tingling, vibrating charge, like low level electricity and it did wild things to every cell in his body.

He kissed her again, more deeply, asking for entrance with his tongue and she turned and pushed them both flat on the bed, his body covering hers.

Her nippled pressed against his chest and nearly did him in. God, her smell, her taste, her nipples...they felt hard enough to cut glass. The dreams he had dreamed in the hospital flooded his brain and he found himself rocking his body against hers. Her jean clad legs opened and she pulled him against her, grinding back on him.

"Bella, we need to stop," he gasped and sat up.

"Sorry," she said with a very unsorry smile on her face. She rubbed her thighs together unconsciously and he could smell her arousal.

"We should go. I need to take you home."

Bella sighed and stood up, taking her cell from her back pocket.

"Start the countdown, Dad. I'm just going to say goodbye to everyone then I'll text as we leave."

They made their way downstairs and Bella kissed Esme and Carlisle on their cheeks and shook hands with Jasper. She held her hand out to Emmett and he grabbed it and pulled her into his arms and swept her up off the ground.

"I'm so happy to not be your body guard any more," he laughed and kissed her loudly before putting her down. "Seriously, you ever need me, baby girl, and I'm there."

"Thanks, guys," she said and walked outside as Alice handed her the coat off the peg.

"Bye Alice. Get home safely," she smirked, eyeing off Jasper and the way his eyes were fixed on Alice. "Or have a good night, at least."

Alice slapped her backside and winked.

"See you in school Monday. Enjoy your ride home."

Edward started the engine and turned to Bella as she did up her seatbelt.

"You should text Charlie."

"Or I could text him when we got to the end of my street," she suggested, winking.

"You should text Charlie. He probably has a tracking device hidden under my car somewhere."

Bella shrugged and sent the text.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Edward asked as he drove her home.

"Charlie works all day Sunday. You could come over."

"Are you planning on finding out if I am bulletproof?" he asked. "Charlie will shoot me if I disobey his rules. Now make things easy for me. Esme will be home, even if dad's working. I could come get you and we could work on the mystery of how someone who never touched a piano can suddenly play and compose his own stuff."

"How big is the piano stool?" she asked.

"Big enough for two to _sit _on, nothing more," he replied, rolling his eyes at her.

"Edward, you've gotten me all stirred up and needy, unfair."

"You think I won't spend the night under a cold shower?" he quipped.

He pulled up in the Swan driveway and dashed out to open the door for Bella.

On the front door, a note flapped in the breeze.

_Bad accident on the main road. Be home to check on you in 15 minutes. Be here. Alone._

_Dad (11.47pm)._

"He's just gone, you could come in for a few minutes," she said, unlocking the door and pulling Edward inside.

"It could be a trap," Edward argued. Bella pushed him down onto the couch and straddled his lap, grinding against him. Edward moaned and decided it was worth the risk. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, in at a better angle, and felt her softness on top of his hardness.

"Belllaa," he breathed heavily as she writhed and rode against his hard on, supporting herself on her knees either side of his legs. Their bodies only met at the best spot and he slid her along his aching erection.

"Fuck, I'm going to come," she whispered in his ear and he instantly lost his own load as she stilled and pressed herself against him even harder. He could feel her body pulsing and hear her heart thudding as loudly as his was. He put his arms around her and kissed her deeply, moving his hands along her back.

She put her own arms around him and hugged him against her breasts.

" I was right, wasn't I?" she whispered as his mouth released hers at last.

"What about?" he replied, pulling back and looking into her deep brown eyes.

"It's way better fun being friends than being enemies."

"I should have listened to you years ago," he agreed.

"You should go," she smiled, standing up and grabbing his hand so he let her pull him to his feet.

"Go have a shower, and think of me," he whispered. "I'll be thinking of you in my own shower."

Bella smirked. "I always think of you in the shower," she said, robbing him of all words.

He made it home in record time and stood there, hoping to God his sweater covered both his hard on and the wet patch on the front of his jeans.

"Well, did you two have fun?" Alice asked.

"Seventeen minutes there, seventeen minutes back and twelve additional minutes unaccounted for," Jasper added. "Unless he was somewhere having his hair stylishly tousled, because it's an even bigger mess than usual."

Edward grinned. "Actually I made it home in twelve minutes," he replied and made for the stairs.

He thought of Bella twice, actually, in the warm water of his shower, and wondered if she was thinking of him as she washed her own naked body. What the heck, a third time couldn't hurt. He cried her name as he released and he left the shower,and fell into bed exhausted. In minutes he was asleep, and his hospital dreams were back in full force.

"Bella," he mumbled and reached for her warm body. In his dreams, it was there, beside him and it wasn't until his pillow failed to kiss him back that he realized it was a dream.

"Damn," he said, sitting up and raking his own hand through his hair.

**Keep reviewing folks. I've written a couple of chapters ahead so it will be updated every 50 reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 4

Sunday proved to be one of the wettest days on record and Charlie took the day of seeing he had worked most of the night. He agreed Bella could visit the Cullen's again but only for the morning.

Edward immediately agreed, any time together was better than none, and he drove carefully to fetch her.

Charlie answered the door himself and held out his hand. This time their handshake was more evenly matched and he almost smiled at Edward.

"Mom's cooking Italian, but I will bring Bella back as soon as lunch is over," Edward promised.

Charlie nodded and watched them drive away.

"How was your night, did you sleep well?" Edward asked.

"Fine. How was your shower, did you shower well?" Bella replied.

"Exceptionally well thank you. You were rather spirited. I didn't know nice girls did things like that," he smirked.

"What did I do, exactly?" Bella asked.

"All sorts of things. You are very talented. I hope you didn't hurt your back with all the gymnastics under the water."

Bella laughed and slapped at him.

"I'm glad I am so good. Actually it's you who has so much to live up to. The things _my_ Edward did in my dream...I don't think some of the things were humanly possible."

"I'm sure in time, we will test that theory," he chuckled. "So, Bella, at school...are you my girlfriend or is that just something you led me to believe out of pity?"

"Pfft. Pity? Me pity you? If anyone's doing a pity date, that would be you," she pointed out.

Edward shook his head.

"Don't pick on my girlfriend, I won't put up with it."

"Just wait until word gets around at school. I think we should just keep things as they are for now. Just friends. You will soon have a whole sea full of willing fish after you. You should be free to take any of them up on their offers and not have to worry about me."

"You don't want to be my girlfriend?" he asked, looking at her.

"Edward, you are a different guy now. You never saw me as a girlfriend. Maybe you even like someone else. I don't know. We rarely talked, you know that. I just think if we wait and see how you feel once you settle in at school again, then if you want me to be your girlfriend, okay."

"Why do you not value yourself more highly? If we are a mismatch, it's only because you are too good for me," he growled.

"Look at the obvious," she answered.

"The obvious? The obvious what?"

"You are beautiful,you have amazing eyes, and your hair is just...and all of you...You are perfect. You are an 'A'. I'm a C+ at best. Look at me."

"I love looking at you. You are truly beautiful, right through to your soul. But since when has it been all about looks anyway?"

"Edward, get real. Of course we are all judged on our appearances. No matter how you acted out, you have always been in the popular group. I am a library dweller. You live, I learn. You are accepted by the other A listers, I am spurned. I could name three girls you would look better sitting beside instantly."

"One had better not be Rosalie Hale," he replied darkly.

"Of course Rosalie, she is the most gorgeous girl in the town. Probably in the state."

Edward wrinkled his forehead because this girl was so very wrong. Rosalie did not begin to match Bella's beauty. Sure, Rose was a big busty blond, an obvious magnet for pubescent males, but her looks were too clique and she truly believed her own publicity and ruled the entire school population. Edward had never bowed to her will, and never would.

"Who else? Which other vacuous empty headed females would look good on my arm? Let me guess. Tainted Tanya and Laughable Lauren?"

"Tanya and Lauren. Yes. You have always watched them while they flash their wares about. We all expected you to move in on all three ages ago. Nobody knows why you waited."

"Maybe I waited for somebody I could like, not just fuck?" he answered sourly.

Bella blushed and looked out of the car window.

Edward parked the Volvo and opened her door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I really like you, Bella. I just wish you saw yourself clearly. You are a beautiful person and I don't deserve you but that doesn't mean I am unselfish enough to walk away for your own good. I want you to be my girlfriend. If you don't want that, I understand. I haven't started to prove myself to you or anyone else and I shouldn't have taken advantage of you on the couch like that."

Bella laughed. "Don't you mean, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you?"

"I was in complete control, I should have left it at a kiss and not pushed things. You would have never have done that if I hadn't pushed," he said.

"No, because I would have taken you upstairs and taken proper advantage," she hissed as he opened the front door.

"Hey Bella," Emmett yelled. Edward stood there like a statue as images flashed through his brain. They were so real, he just had trouble accepting he and Bella really had never been together like that when he saw every single move they both made so clearly. It was as if he was remembering, not fantasizing. Every scar on her body, every freckle and mole, he swore he had seen them, touched them, kissed them.

He wished she would strip naked just so he could confirm he knew where each mark was located. His brain was not completely reliable again yet and he had to come to terms with that. Although he remembered the names of the students Bella mentioned; Mike, Lauren, Tanya, he couldn't recall their faces. Rose he knew. She was rather Barbie doll like. And she had fake tits. He could recall talking to the boys about them some time ago.

Tanya? Tall and blond as well? Lauren? Maybe another clone? He was sure he would know them when he saw them. If they were as stunning as Bella said, then they should stick out like sore thumbs from the usual teen girls.

Bella was obviously the most beautiful girl there, there was no doubt in his mind.

He had decided to replace the boy named Mike's porn stash and had a bundle of newly bought magazines in his schoolbag. They were still sealed in their plastic covers.

Emmett had chosen them, laughing, assuming they were for Edward's own use, but he had felt no desire to look at naked overinflated breasts. He would rather remember Bella's. Which it seemed he had never really seen. He could recall touching them, finding them so perfectly sized for his hands. The cherry red nipples had tasted so sweet...

A dream, Edward, he cautioned himself.

Bella was standing behind his brothers as they battled for supremacy on the XBox and he walked over and took her hand.

"Come upstairs, I want to talk to you," he whispered.

"See that that is all you do. Talk," Jasper stated. Edward grinned.

"Okay, I will 'talk' to Bella like you 'talked' to Alice Brandon last night. I couldn't sleep, I kept having very vivid dreams and waking up so I went for a walk around the yard. You know, past the pool. By the patio? Where the cane lounger is?"

Jasper paled and avoided eye contact.

"Use your own judgement," he muttered. His hand was still and the control slipped to the floor.

"Yes, you just died, you fool," Emmett crowded, air punching his unexpected win.

Edward walked upstairs and Bella hurried to keep up with his larger stride.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked as he sat down on the black leather couch and pulled her down beside him.

"Bella, have we ever been friends? Ever?"

"No, not really," she answered slowly, unsure where this was going.

"And we never...we didn't have some 'arrangement'...um...you know."

"Arrangement?" she replied.

"You know. Friends with benefits? Fuckbuddies? Nothing like that?" he pushed.

"Speaking for myself, I'm a virgin," she replied.

"Jasper and Emmett say I am too, but I keep remembering us being together...like that."

"Maybe you read minds. Maybe we share dreams. I dream about...stuff like that," she said hurriedly.

"Do you? About us?" he asked in awe.

"Edward, I've had a crush on you since I turned twelve," she admitted.

"But how could that be true? I've always been vile to you."

"No, not always. You have treated me badly, sure, but every time you let me see a glimpse of the real Edward, _my _Edward, it gave me hope. It was like you were promising one day you would stop the annoying shit and just let it be what it always wanted to be."

"I don't know what you are saying."

"When we were eight, Mike Newton asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no, and he retaliated by asking every single child in the class to his birthday party, except me. You went, with Jasper and Emmett. I sat home alone, with my father asking me why I hadn't been invited. I told him why and he said that's what boys who liked a girl often did to her. Left her out, annoyed her at school. I never saw Mike that way but it made me wonder about you, and the way you always singled me out.

Anyway, remember the treehouse Charlie built me in the tree out the back?"

Edward laughed.

"That I do remember. You had that sign on the ladder that no boys were allowed."

"Well, the day of the party, I was hiding away up in that cubbyhouse reading and I heard someone come into the yard. I watched you leave a box at our backdoor then sneak away.

Of course, once you left, I climbed down and opened it, and inside was the piece of Mike's birthday cake and bag of candy you had been given by Mike's Mom, and the plastic crown like all the boys got. And a note.

_Sorry you weren't invited. It was a dumb party anyway._

I sat in my treehouse and ate the chocolate cake and wore that crown and I smuggled the candy bag inside and kept it under my pillow and every night in bed, I ate another piece of candy. And wondered why you, of all people, had done that."

"I must have objected to Mike being such a dick," he grinned.

"The next year, Charlie was going to give me a birthday party, then he had to go away on a course instead so it was cancelled. I had Sue Clearwater staying here to babysit me while he was away, and she didn't even know it was my birthday at all. I went to school, and Alice asked me what presents I had gotten and I admitted nobody had remembered. That afternoon you came to the treehouse and left me a gift. I saw you, from my bedroom window. I was lying on my bed, feeling sorry for myself, having a little cry about being unloved and forgotten. Such a drama queen. Then I saw you climb up and leave a little blue box there and scuttle away again. Do you remember this?"

She rolled back her sleeve and showed him the thin gold chain bracelet on her wrist.

"Shit, that's Esme's. Carlisle gave it to her after some trip away. They searched high and low for that...fuck, I just had a memory return. I do remember doing that."

"When Charlie came home, he gave me my gift and one my Mom had sent and the cards from my grandparents and friends, but it was a week later by then, so the only gift I got on my actual birthday was this bracelet. I could wrap it around my wrist doubled over back then. I treasured it."

Edward smiled and took her wrist and kissed it.

"Of course, at school you put a frog in my desk and made me scream when I opened it. So it wasn't like I could understand you at all."

Edward laughed. "I was a horrible child."

"But a horrible child with a sense of fairness, all the same. Like some things were just too wrong for you to ignore."

He shrugged.

"When we were twelve, Jessica had that beach party and everyone had a bikini except me. Charlie thought they were far too indecent so I sat there in my shorts and top and refused to swim in the hideous one piece that was all I owned, and you asked Alice to lend me one of her bikini's, and she did. She told me it had been your idea, and she was the same even back then, always three changes of clothing in her bag wherever she went."

"I suspect I just wanted to see you in a bikini," he suggested, pulling her down and kissing her.

Bella laughed.

"Yeah, I may be crediting you too generously there. You did stare at me the rest of the day, and you threw a beach towel over me when Jacob Black turned up on the beach and said I looked hot."

Edward laughed and Bella kissed him, this time.

"I guess I was jealous. I know I hated it whenever he turned up at your house. I used to watch and wait for him to leave again."

"See, you haven't forgotten everything. He gave me this little dreamcatcher once, but I lost it. I was really sorry, it was kind of interesting, with all sorts of little shells and things hanging off it. I hung it over my bed."

Edward frowned and stood up, walking towards his closet. A few minutes later he returned and held out the item in question.

"I do apologize, I only took it because he gave it to you."

"Edward, how did you get inside my house to take that?" she asked, looking at the intricate details of the workmanship put into making the little treasure.

"You have always had the apple tree outside your window. You climbed out often enough. What made you think nobody could climb in?"

"Did you do that often?"

"Sometimes. I liked your room, it always smelled like girl."

"So, you were stalking me back then?"

"I guess. Charlie almost caught me in your room once, I had to hide in your closet. It was really messy, clothes tossed everywhere. I was caught inside for hours while you and Alice lay on your bed and talked about us boys and she liked Jasper even back then."

"God, I didn't say who I liked, did I?"

"I can still hear you telling her. I was shocked. You said you secretly liked me. I had never had anyone like me before that. Other than Esme. I went home and lay in bed and wished I could stop the shit and just be your friend."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't. I needed you to stay away from me. I guess I always knew there was something basically wrong with me and that I was not a suitable friend for you. But I still wanted your attention, so teasing you was my thing to do with you."

"I did react way too much. I knew that but it never helped."

"I should probably confess something I did that you don't know about," he warned her.

"Come on then, tell me the worst."

"You remember when Jake asked you to that dance on the Res and you were going to go with him? I was the one who called and told Charlie. I knew he'd never let you go if a boy had asked you. You were only thirteen. I didn't want Jake's paws all over you."

"God, my Dad stuck to my side like superglue all night. I never got to dance a single dance with anyone but him. It was so embarrassing."

"I guess I was a jealous little freak."

"He nailed my window shut when I was fourteen and was going to sneak out with Alice and go to one of Tyler's unsupervised parties. I remember ranting at that window, and Charlie came into my bedroom and asked me what was wrong. I couldn't admit I knew he had nailed the window shut to stop me climbing out that way. God, it was so frustrating."

"Charlie didn't actually do that," Edward admitted.

"You?" Bella cried out in shock.

"Tyler used weed and passed it around to all of us. No way was I letting you go down that path and end up a pothead."

"Well thanks for treating me like a child and taking away my choices. I would have refused to join in."

"Nah, you wouldn't have. You were always way too adventurous."

"So you were my secret guardian angel and kept me from temptation," she grinned.

"I think I always enjoyed baiting you though. It was just ingrained habit by then. I didn't know how to change things."

"Sometimes you were so annoying but sometimes you just teased me, like a brother would. And when there was nobody else around, you spoke to me like I was just another person. No jibes, nothing. Do you remember Ben's party?"

Edward tried to see this Ben in his mind and failed.

"I don't know what Ben looks like. I don't remember his party."

"We were sixteen, it was only the year before last. The others were swimming and Mike Newton was drunk. He pulled off my bikini top and threw it over the fence. You took off your jacket and wrapped it around me."

Edward tried hard to remember any part of this.

He shook his head sadly.

"You punched Mike and took me into the sitting room and stole one of Ben's sister's bikini tops from her bedroom."

He shrugged.

"Then you sat and talked me down, I was having a panic attack because everyone saw my boobs naked."

So he had seen them himself. The memory was based on fact, just greatly embellished. He was sure she wouldn't be talking like this if he had stroked them and licked those cherry red nipples and tasted them. He must have just seen them and made the rest up.

"I didn't...touch you?" he asked quietly.

Bella shook her head. "No, you rescued me."

"I wish I remembered that," he said sadly.

"The next day was the day you filled up Mike's locker with Cheese Whiz."

Edward grinned at that. "Serves the fucker right. He's lucky I didn't do something worse to him."

"Oh, Mike losing all his porn collection? That was a tragedy to him. He kept them at school because his Mommy cleaned his room, and searched it for anything untoward. His porn was his secret life and you ruined it."

"So I was a dick to others as well. It wasn't just you."

"Do you remember when my truck had a flat and you changed the tire for me, then? Out past Olson's Vacation Cabin, on Mora Road? Halloween night last year?"

"No," he replied.

"I was trying to unscrew the nuts and my cell was dead and you drove past with James and that exchange student from France, Laurent? You all heckled me then you came back alone and changed the tire?"

"You aren't making this up to make me see myself as better than I was, are you?" Edward asked.

"No Edward. I'm sure everyone's told you the bad things you did, I just want you to know you did stand up for me when I needed you. The few little acts of kindness you showed me made me sure there was a better man inside the mask you showed everyone else."

"But I tripped you over and stole your lunch."

Bella nodded. "You could be a real pest but you there was this strange phenomenon . Somehow chocolate bars and an apple and a bottle of lemonade appeared in my bag if you took my lunch. I never starved."

"That may not have been from me. That was probably Jasper. Or Emmett."

"They rarely left my side. It wasn't them. Both would openly buy me something to eat. These things just appeared as if by magic."

"It wasn't me," he replied sadly.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't. But you took the fall for the answer sheet I got caught with."

"Math?" he asked, some tiny memory kicking in.

"Angela Webber had been away, ill, and she got really behind in her work. Her friend Ben works in the office. He photocopied the answer sheet for the Math test. I caught her with it and talked her into giving it to me to destroy but Mr Banner walked in just after she handed it to me and he took it and I was sent to the Principal's office. You stood up and said it was yours. You told Banner I took it off you and was about to turn you in. Your wolfpack all high fived you and you got suspended for a week."

"Esme really read me the riot act and told me I had one strike left then I would be expelled. I thought I stole that answer sheet."

"Think about it. Do you really think any teacher would have allowed you anywhere near the office? Ben is a trusted student and he's never done anything like that before or since. He did it so Angela wouldn't fail and miss out on going to college."

"So, anyway, I did a handful of decent things against a million bad things. Still doesn't even up the scales."

"No, it doesn't but you kept showing me these little glimpses of the other Edward. My Edward who refused to let me be embarrassed at a party because what Mike did was a step too far. And you wouldn't leave me stranded in my truck at night. And you knew if I got done for having that answer sheet, I would have no chance of a scholarship to college."

"I'm glad I was slightly decent, then," he conceded. "Maybe I was only 99% bad."

"And maybe I loved the 1% you showed only me," she replied.

Alice appeared at the table at lunchtime and Jasper pulled out the chair beside his and she sat down and they stared into one another's eyes like they were the only two at the table. Bella went out to the kitchen to help Esme and she saw the woman catch sight of the chain bracelet.

"Esme, it is yours. Edward gave it to me when I turned nine and I didn't get any gifts because Dad was away and nobody else here knew it was my birthday. He stole it from you for me so I would get one present that day."

She started to undo the clasp and Esme grabbed her hand.

"No, keep it. I'm happy he even thought to do that. Edward was never all bad, and I think you know that yourself, Bella."

"I do," she smiled and patted Esme's hand. "He used to reveal little bits of himself to me over the years."

"To me too. I always knew somehow we could save him. I know the accident was horrific but it certainly changed everything and gave us our real Edward."

Bella stood there letting Esme hold her like mother and daughter and they both laughed self consciously at the tears on their cheeks.

"You do love him, too, Bella, don't you? Sometimes I think you and I are the only two who knew him and were willing to wait for the butterfly to emerge from the ugly, prickly little caterpillar. It was always there, inside him, waiting to be freed."

"And now it has been," Bella said happily.

X~x~X

After lunch, Edward drove Bella home with a boxed lunch for Charlie seeing he liked Italian and there was plenty to spare left over. He inhaled it with his usual enthusiasm for all things edible and shook his head.

"That Carlisle is a lucky, lucky man to have a woman like that."

Bella had almost come to think Charlie never noticed women. He had never dated since her Mom had left so sports and fishing were his life now. He didn't seem lonely but he was alone, and once she left for college next year he would miss her, she knew that. He was a man of few words but Bella knew he loved her in his own quiet way. She would miss him, too.

Bella spent the afternoon catching up on homework and doing the laundry and cleaning her room.

When she fell into bed that night, she was beyond tired and she heard the cruiser leave as Charlie went to do an all-nighter. It never bothered her being home alone. Nobody was stupid enough to break into the local Police Chief's house, so Bella felt completely safe.

About an hour later, she thought she heard her window slide open but she dismissed it as a dream and when the pair of arms reached around her, she kept her eyes closed and slipped into a deeper sleep, murmuring his name as he spooned around her body.

"Edward," she sighed happily, in a dreamlike state, and felt him kiss the back of her neck.

X~x~X

"Edward!" she screamed, when she woke up and found him really there, on her bed.

God, she had thought it was a dream.

"Charlie will be home any minute. Where's your car?" she asked him as he slowly became aware of his surroundings.

"I got Jas to drop me off, he's coming back at 7am," he replied, yawning. "He was on his way to spend the night with a certain Miss Brandon. By invitation. I knew you may sling me out the window but I took a chance. I didn't want to be alone last night."

"Bad night?" she asked, worriedly. It was always there, the risk he could get those memories back. How would he cope next time?

"I just felt edgy. I couldn't relax and you are the only one who relaxes me," he explained as he put his shoes back on. He had slept above the covers, fully dressed.

He hadn't been sure if she was aware he was there or not.

Bella opened her window and Edward kissed her quickly.

"Thanks for last night," he smirked and she pointed out the window.

"Just go. See you at school."

**Cheers for reviews, be back at 200.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Cheers, we get our new internet 'allowance' on the 22nd of the month, the week before I may not be able to update at all because I have run out of whatever you call it. Thanks for your patience.**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter Five

Charlie walked past her door ten minutes later and she hurried to get her hair tied up in a ponytail out of the way.

"Breakfast?" she offered.

"Sleep. Last night was a busy one. See you later, kid. Have a good day. Got your pepper spray?"

Bella slapped the right hand pocket of her jeans.

"All set. Not that I will ever need it now. Edward has changed, Dad."

"Time will prove that true or not," he replied."There's one thing I do know. He's not the most dangerous thing out there. Keep it on you at all times."

Alice was bouncing about, waiting for her to park her truck in her usual spot, across the far side of the lot beside Alice's car. Everyone had their 'spot' and nobody ever deviated.

The 'A' listers parked closest to the steps up to the school. The B's had center row and the 'Others", like Bella and Alice, used the far side.

"Tell me everything," Alice gushed, then promptly launched into a blow by blow description of her times with Jasper.

Bella halted them both at the bottom of the stairs to wait for Edward and his brothers to show.

"And then he did this thing with his..."

Bella tuned out and smiled as the shiny silver Volvo entered the lot. She gasped a little when Edward parked beside her truck.

"Shit, he's forgotten he's an A lister," Alice laughed.

"Hey Edward, we park over near the stairs. Where the girls are standing," Emmett yelled, driving by in his jeep.

"Good for you," Edward answered and walked across the lot to Bella. "Good Morning, Bella. Hey, Alice. You girls know I can't remember anyone much, right? You need to keep me safe from the bullies," he joked.

Jasper parked beside Edward's car and Emmett scratched his head. "Fine, be rebels."

He raced off ahead as Jasper took Alice's hand and kissed it.

"Good morning, darlin'" he drawled and Bella laughed.

"Hey. I wasn't the only Cullen not present and accounted for in his own bed last night," he warned her.

"I'm well aware of that," Bella replied.

They walked into the grounds as a group and watched the faces as students took note of the joined hands between the two couples, and most if not all, did a double take. Jasper with Alice was one thing, but Edward and Bella?

Bella whispered who was who as they passed each student and Edward nodded and tried to retain a new memory to replace he missing ones.

"Tyler Crowley, remember him now?" Bella asked, pointing the boy out.

Edward shrugged.

"Uh oh, Bitch Brigade," Alice warned as three generic Gossip Girls walked towards them.

Edward frowned and bypassed them without a glance. Cheap skanks, was all he assessed.

"Swan, don't even think of walking past me like that," the tallest one snarled. "What the fuck are you doing with my boyfriend?"

"Rosalie, really? Your boyfriend? Since when?" Bella replied. Edward looked on in shock. _These three _ were the most gorgeous girls in this town? That would have made the town pretty damned sad if that were the case.

"Since I fucking decided he could be," she said, walking towards Edward with her chest jutting out from her half buttoned blouse. She flicked at his school tie and he pulled back from her hand.

"Come on Edward, we have just enough time for a quick visit to the janitor's closet," she said invitingly.

"No thank you, kind of you to offer but I have this thing about sticking to my own species," he smiled.

"Why are you letting Swan hold your hand?' she snarled.

"Actually, I believe I am holding her hand. See, this is my hand, in the dominant position," he explained.

"You'd rather be with Swan than with me?" she queried.

"Absolutely. I seem to have developed a sense of good taste since my accident," he replied.

"I told you he had brain damage," Rose said to the girls at her side.. "He'd be kicking her ass as usual if he didn't."

Edward looked stricken at her words so Bella pulled him away.

"Ignore Rosalie, I do."

They paced across to the other side, near the change rooms and a tall dirty blond boy with a scraggy ponytail stepped in front of them.

"Edward," he said in surprise, raising his eyebrows.

Edward paused and frowned. Mike? Eric? Ben?

"Fuck off, James," Bella said, shocking Edward with the profanity. Sure, he had heard her say it when he had been giving her pleasure but she had said it such a different way. Low voiced, sexy, whispering.

"James," Edward repeated, nodding at the surprised boy.

"Yeah, catch ya later, bro. I can see you are busy," the blond replied and winked at him before walking away.

"He's bad news and you two are such a lethal combination. If you are determined to turn over a new leaf, then here's the thing. Stay away from him if you want anyone decent to even speak to you," Alice advised him.

Edward nodded and they continued to class.

Carlisle had visited the school in his absence and explained everything, how Edward may not have a lot of recall for a while. His grades had always been amongst the top, the only saving grace and the reason he was still allowed to attend this school. He may just be one of the contenders for the top Senior student in the state.

Mr Banner frowned at the clasped hands and wondered how much leeway he was supposed to allow? He knew Edward's brain had been injured but he couldn't fathom the new personality seeming to inhabit the former angry youth. He had never looked so calm and subdued.

Edward caught the intense scrutiny he was being given and smiled at the teacher.

Banner stepped back, almost afraid. This was too weird for words.

"If you moved Edward to my lab table, I could help him," Bella said and he looked at her in shock.

"You _want _Cullen at your table?" he questioned.

"Yes, please," she replied and he shrugged.

"Alice, you sit with...Jasper and Ben. Edward, that leaves just you and Bella at the back table. Okay?"

Both nodded and he watched them walk away and Bella pushed their chairs in close before sitting down.

Okay, this was...unexpected.

He glanced at their table frequently but Cullen was quiet and industrious all lesson, clearly depending on Bella Swan to explain things and point out who was who, and he wondered if he had merely slipped into a parallel universe. It seemed more probable than any other explanation.

If the boy was faking this, there was no way he could carry it off for long. He had always lacked impulse control and Banner watched as Mike Newton eyed off Bella and Edward merely glared at the boy in return. In the past, Edward had been known to 'accidentally' bump into Mike and they often ended up in a mess of limbs as each punched out at the other.

The students were used to this, and would merely sidestep past the pair, but as Bella and Edward filed past Newton's desk at the end of the lesson, Edward ignored Mike, despite the death glare the boy was giving him.

It was obvious to all, the sense of competition between the two boys, and just as obvious it was all over their possessiveness of Bella Swan, but she never even noticed. She had never realized they fought like this over her alone.

The girl was oblivious, particularly to Mike, even though he had never annoyed her like Edward openly had. Yet Edward had always been the one she watched and smiled at , secretly, as they worked in class. Banner had watched the strange relationship all through their High School careers. It was as if they were meant to be together, and she was obviously willing, and waiting, but Edward had always been determined to keep away from her. He singled her out not because he hated her, just the opposite. He clearly wanted her and liked her a lot, but he didn't trust himself to be good for her so he kept her away by acting like a child and causing her pain in many forms.

Why she hadn't smacked him over the head and told him to grow up was a mystery, but it seemed that point was moot now.

Things had clearly changed. Edward had taken his place at her side and she had allowed him to. Banner suspected despite how it appeared, that Bella had always been in charge of Edward anyway. Sure, she reacted to his petty crimes against her but he had noticed the subtle amusement in her eyes at times, and he had never heard her mutter a single bad word about him.

When he had offered to intervene and change the boy to a different class, she had laughed and dismissed his pranks as just 'Edward being Edward' and had assured him she was capable of coping with him herself.

And Edward had changed since the broken leg incident. Banner had no doubt in his mind that it had been an accident. Bella was no fool and she would have called Edward out on it had it been his fault. Edward's eyes had taken on an extra tortured look right up until the leg was free of all casts again. Now it seemed a truce had been declared.

Maybe the rest of the year might be peaceful for a change? That would be a bonus.

Maybe the boy would give his matches a rest and stop lighting up half the town.

X~x~X

Edward finished copying Bella's copious notes and smiled his thanks. His attention span was right off, normally he had managed to plan pranks, chat with his 'crew' even though he could barely recognize them now, and do his class work without any problems.

James and the boys around him had shot him confused glances until the blond boy had spoken to them all, then they looked back and smirked and some quickly threw him a thumbs up or a quick wink.

He didn't know what was happening, so he merely shrugged and concentrated on Bella again,

"Gym next," Bella said with a moan.

"We don't like gym?" Edward asked.

"You don't do gym. You sit out and I stumble and wreck the games so it's a fun time for all," she sighed.

"So, I just sit there and watch you?"

"Any laughing will have dangerous consequences to your health," she warned and Edward carefully stroked across her cheek and down to her chin.

"Be gentle with me," he pleaded. Bella grinned and Edward risked a quick kiss to her pouty lips.

"What PDA's are allowed in this school anyway?" he asked and Bella smiled.

"We are allowed to hold hands and small kisses like that get overlooked but no real making out unless you are out of sight of the teachers. There are places where couples tend to go to kiss and stuff."

"Janitor's closets?"

"God no, they are for hook ups. No couples go into them. Just the Bitch Brigade and their latest victims really. You would not want to be trapped inside one of those closets with Rose or her crew of crudeness, they would eat you alive."

"That will never happen. I can't believe you think those three girls are attractive. They look like they should have their own reality tv show. Brassy Blond Bitches In The Making. Something like that."

"You don't think they are gorgeous?" Bella asked.

"God no, but then, I judge everyone by the Bella standard of beauty. Nobody else will ever come close."

"This is going to take some getting used to," Bella replied.

"What?"

"You, saying such sweet things to me. I almost expect Ashton Kutcher to jump out and scream "punked", at me."

"God, I'm so sorry. I promise I don't even know the guy. And I swear only sweet things will ever cross my lips again. Like your lips."

Bella smiled and wished they had time and a place to go and just relax together and kiss the heck out of one another.

She freed her hand from his only when they arrived at the girl's change room.

"I'll be watching, cheering you on, love," Edward promised.

Bella blushed. "I wish you wouldn't watch, it's just embarrassing."

"Then I shall avert my eyes and remember you as you were on Charlie's couch. Hmm, now what was that like again? 'Edward, I'm...really enjoying myself' , " he whispered in her ear.

Bella slapped at him laughingly, and disappeared inside.

"Edward, your father says you are cleared to do gym, so I would like you to go get changed then go over there and join in the boy's basketball game," Coach said, looking deep into the boy's eyes. The old hostility and pain was gone. How fascinating.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

Maybe it wasn't so far fetched a story after all.

Bella managed to get herself appointed chair umpire . No one objected at all, and she sat up high with a view of the volleyball game the girls were playing and shouted out the scores.

But all eyes were soon drawn to the basketball court as Edward Cullen scored goal after goal from outside the 3 point line.

He was relentless and Coach was suddenly exposed to his obvious, unexpected raw talent. He pulled Edward aside when the game ended, with the other team failing to score more than two goals, one by each of his brothers.

Edward had been on the team of players not good enough to be on the school team, yet he had carried the no hoper's to a mighty victory, alone.

Of course, the real team were furious and Edward's team were jubilant at their first ever win and all were high five'ing each other like they had played a role in the score and doing a victory dance he alone deserved.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?" Coach asked.

Edward shrugged.

"At home on the driveway? I've always played against my brothers. Jasper knows every move worth making and Emmett outweighs me by so much, I had to learn to be quick into place and throw before he trounced me or Jas out manoeuvred me."

"And do you play any other sport?" Coach asked. He couldn't see the basketball team accepting this underdog into their midst at this late stage. There would be a lot of resentment and bad feelings after the way he had just trounced them and left them all for dead in his wake. He was sure the basketball team would concentrate on keeping the ball out of Edward's hands rather than on winning the damn game. Even Jasper and Emmett would be unable to convince their angry team mates to give the boy a fair go, despite it being to their own advantage.

"We play baseball. As a family," Edward replied.

"Come outside, I will toss you a couple of balls, see how you hit," the Coach suggested.

He whistled as Edward slugged the ball out of sight and stood, swinging the bat back and forth

powerfully through the air.

"Right, into a cage, I'll put the pitching machine on. Just relax, and take your time."

He managed to regain his voice a little by the end as Edward failed to miss a single ball and the speed camera threw up impossible speeds on the board.

"Fuck me, Cullen, maybe we should crash the bus with the team in it and see if we can create a few more like you."

Edward twirled the bat in his hand and Coach wondered who to drop, because this boy was their new star player. Batting was a solo activity and he wouldn't have to depend on the other team members support to show his best plays.

Newton had been missing baseball practice a lot lately. Maybe he needed a rest.

"See you at practice, after school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

Edward nodded and handed him the bat before walking inside to the showers.

The others had gone so he checked the dividing wall and found the peephole.

It looked straight into the shower he always used. How he knew that fact he always used this stall but not the name of the boy who came in collecting the wet towels, he had no idea. His brain seemed to have random memories and lots more gaps than even he had suspected.

So many faces and no names to put to them yet.

He filled the hole in the wall with a washcloth and stripped and showered.

He felt good. He had enjoyed both sports but baseball would always be his first love. And now he was on the team.

Carlisle would be pleased. Maybe even Charlie would be impressed. Nobody here had ever seen him play so they were in for a surprise. He supposed Health and Safety Rules had kept him from joining in, with his anger issues, before.

He would prove himself if it was the last thing he did.

He dressed and went out to find Bella and join her and the others for lunch. He wasn't sure where their usual table was, but he soon spotted them all, and Emmett shouted out to attract his attention.

Edward slid into the chair beside Bella's and reached for her hand which she gave him freely.

"What do we eat?" he asked her quietly.

"I eat whatever I manage to stop you taking off my plate and you eat whatever you steal from me."

"Bella," he growled.

"Okay, let's go see what gourmet delights await us," she suggested,standing up and making for the line up. Edward walked over with her. Without thinking, he placed a bottle of lemonade, an apple and a chocolate bar on her tray then noticed her silence.

"What?"

"Wasn't you, right? You never put these three very things into my bag?"

"I honestly don't know," he answered, pushing the tray along.

"Pizza, hamburgers or salad?"

"Salad for me, burger for you."

He complied and they walked back to their table.

"Do we all always sit together?" he asked.

"Except when you go sit with douchebag James and the crew instead," Emmett answered.

"Bella always sits with Jasper and me and that means Alice sits here too, because she is Bella's best friend. You sometimes sit with us, but you mainly only stick around long enough to annoy Bella and we tell you to fuck off, so you try and grab her food and go."

"New beginnings. Edward is on the side of good now," Alice said happily.

Edward noticed James watched him from his table across the room for most of the meal break but he seemed unconcerned that Edward had deserted him and he merely thumped Edward on the back in passing later as they left, and winked. Edward had no clue how to respond. Did James fancy him? Did students think they were a couple? Males didn't usually wink at other males, did they? Unless they were conspiring something together and they were just acknowledging progress between themselves. He really needed to try and remember James and what the two of them did.

"I wonder how he really got those burns on his arms?" Alice said quietly.

"What does he say happened?" Edward asked her.

"Oh, he was fighting a dragon and it blew flames at him, or he was rescuing a family from a burning building. The dragon story is more probable."

"You really don't like him, do you?"

"Edward, you were annoying. James is dangerous. Charlie's men watch him, tail him out of school. You can't tell him that," Bella said, suddenly realizing she was sharing her father's secrets.

Alice pulled her aside and Edward paused, giving them some space to have their quick interchange in privacy.

"Of course he's trustworthy, he won't tell James," Bella hissed in reply to whatever Alice had said. The small girl looked around and started speaking urgently into Bella's ear as the gap between them and Edward widened.

Edward turned when James grabbed his arm and pulled him aside, but his eyes were still on Bella and Alice, who continued whispering to one another. Bella was clearly annoyed with her friend.

"Hey Edward, no hard feelings about the mix up with the Science Building, right? I know you didn't know the door locked behind you and I was still inside. I got out, all safe and sound. Just a few scars."

"You were inside when I...lit the fire?" Edward asked in a daze.

"See, I knew it was a mix up. I knew you couldn't have locked me in on purpose."

"God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I mean, I don't remember anything about it but I couldn't have known, surely."

"It's cool. We are bros. I see you have modified my plan."

"Your plan?" Edward asked, feeling incredibly ill at the knowledge he could have killed the boy.

"Sure, I think your revised version may work even better. Just let me know when it all happens and I'll be there. I guess you get to fuck her first, seeing you are doing all the ground work, but I'm second. Don't let any of these douchebags touch her before I have my turn."

Edward growled and dropped his bag and turned to face the boy, his hand striking out at his face.

Emmett grabbed him before either boy noticed his approach and Jasper pushed James away.

"Fuck off, James, we can settle this later. Out of school property. Edward, you can't cause any more scenes, you are on your final warning. Next offence, provoked or not, gets you expelled."

James put his hands up and walked away backwards.

"Second, Edward. Maybe first if you are going to be a twat about it," he called. "I'll bring my paper bag so I don't have to look at her ugly face."

Edward struggled against his brother's grip and tried to throw himself at the retreating figure.

"Let me smash his teeth down his throat," Edward growled. Emmett secured his arms around his brother, pinning his hands to his side.

"Hey, James, maybe you stay the fuck out of my brother's face. For your own good," Emmett warned.

James laughed and walked away, crudely mimicking the act of sex with a circled thumb and finger on one hand, and a finger from his other hand going in and out.

"I'm second, " he called out as he left the room.

"What was all that about?" Jasper asked quietly.

"He thinks I'm pulling a scam on Bella, to sleep with her then he wants to..."

"I get it. Well, maybe James needs a little chat," Emmett suggested. "I've never liked that motherfucker and you have to cut all ties, Edward. The past is over, done and James is part of your past. Move on."

"I can't believe he's my friend," Edward said, aghast at the idea.

"You two have always been like bff's...best fucking friends, since you were eight," Jasper explained. "He's the devil and you were his disciple."

"Did I try and burn him to death in the Science Building?" Edward asked frantically.

"Edward, you may have annoyed the crap out of Bella but woe be tied anyone else who ever tried to do anything to her. If he had a plan to touch her, then I think maybe you did plan to burn him alive."

"So I would murder someone?" he choked.

"Hey, I'd hardly call James a someone. He's a demon and he will pay one day. You realize this means you were never going to go along with his plan? You were going to stop him before he could touch her?"

"But I was going to kill him," Edward sobbed. "I'm a killer. It's hardly down to me that he escaped. I'm a murderer at heart."

"I think maybe we should call it a day and take you home," Jasper decided.

Emmett agreed and the two boys helped Edward into his car and Jasper drove him home while Emmett followed in the jeep to bring Jasper back.

"What just happened? Where are they going?" Bella asked.

"I'll text Jasper," Alice replied and picked up her phone.

X~x~X

"Feel okay? Jasper asked, sitting beside Edward as he sat shaking on his couch in his bedroom.

"I feel...like I can't believe I tried to kill him, but on the other hand, I want to rip his head off his shoulders and tear him apart with my bare hands. "

"It's okay, Edward. He has that effect on people. Nobody but that stupid crew of halfwits even talk to him. You just need to avoid him in future."

"Where's Emmett?" Edward asked.

"He thought maybe, in the circumstances, he should go back to school and guard Bella. Just in case that fucker has any ideas of striking while we aren't there to stop him."

Edward stood and paced furiously.

"I should be there, I should be the one looking out for her."

"Not if it means you kill James. You need to calm down."

"Did you know I tried to kill him in the fire?" Edward asked.

Jasper shrugged.

"We knew he was there. We knew he got burned escaping from the building. We also knew he was only getting his just desserts if he had died. The guy is really bad news. I'm sure Charlie knows the extent of his crimes. We only hear rumors."

"Why was I even talking to him?"

"James has always been on your side, defending anything you did. The fucker wanted to make you a clone of himself but you could never see that."

"He was going to...rape...Bella, wasn't he?"

"Then maybe that was why you locked him in the science building and set it on fire."

"I would kill to keep her safe, wouldn't I?" he said. Jasper patted his back and shrugged.

"Desperate times, desperate measures. But now we know what happened, we can find a better way to stop him. You have Emmett and I to help. We can lure him away somewhere without his henchmen and belt the living daylights out of him."

"That might make him even more determined to hurt Bella. I can't be by her side 24/7."

"Well, you can sleep on her bed at night and be with her at school, and Emmett and I can fill in when you aren't able to guard her. We've been her body guards for years, we can manage it."

"Thanks Jasper. I really need to keep her safe, you know?"

"I understand. If that bastard touches one hair on Bella's head, he will be ashes. And don't think Charlie Swan wouldn't turn a blind eye and pronounce it an accident if he knew that full facts. We should tell him."

Edward shook his head. "Let's run it by Carlisle first, tonight, and see what he says. He may not think it wise to tell Charlie. The man does have a gun. And he is very protective of his daughter. he may shoot first."

"Do you want to go back to school? You know Emmett won't leave her side?"

"I would feel better being there myself. I won't kill James, not today. Not on school property."

"Right. I'll drive."

Edward walked into class with his brother, having only missed Spanish class, which he would have probably struggled with seeing Bella didn't take that class.

She looked up in surprise as he took the seat beside hers in English Lit and Emmett stayed glued to the seat on her other side.

"James felt a little ill and had to go home," Emmett stated, still facing the front of the classroom.

"No wonder, someone punched the heck out of his face. He had blood all over his shirt, I think his nose was broken and his eyes were both bruised. Nobody saw anything and he said he didn't see who did it," Bella whispered, clearly alarmed.

Emmett cracked his knuckles and smiled.

"Must have been an accident then. They do happen."

"Accident? Emmett, don't be ridiculous. Somebody beat the crap out of him."

Emmett shrugged. "Maybe, I didn't see a thing. I wasn't back at school in time to see it happen."

"Where were you?" Bella asked, guilelessly.

"I had a flat tire and had to change it," Emmett explained. Bella looked at the bruises on his knuckles and narrowed her eyes.

"What? The jack slipped, I hurt myself a little. It's fine," he answered. Edward held her hand tightly and kissed her fingers.

After school, the Coach sought out Edward and reminded him it was baseball practice and he reluctantly parted from Bella, handing her over to Emmett.

He knew nothing would ever get past his brother to hurt her.

Football practice could happen without him for one day, he assured Edward, and walked the girl to her car.

"I don't want her left at her house alone," Edward called, and Emmett turned.

" I am going to follow her home so she can park the truck there, then I'm taking her home to Esme. I'm sure they can spend some time together, doing whatever women do. See you later."

Edward changed into his sports kit and joined the others in the cages.

After an hour of hitting, the Coach ordered them into two teams and set Edward up as first batter.

He whistled to himself as the ball disappeared from sight.

"Okay, Cullen. We should probably aim towards the forest , no need to be damaging passing cars on the road. Let's all turn this way and start the game."

Four missing balls later, Edward and his team took the victory, and the Coach shook his head.

"Where the fuck was he earlier in the season? Why didn't someone even think of this, letting him take out his aggression on the baseballs? He had belted every ball like it was the head of his enemy."

Edward laughed mirthlessly at the Coach's mumblings. Possibly he had cried out James' name as he batted each ball deep into the forest. It felt better, imagining the boy as each ball approached and he had smashed him apart each time, feeling no remorse at all. Maybe some of the old Edward was back. If that fucker even looked at Bella when he recovered from his 'accident', he would rue the day he found a way out of that burning building.

Better to die in flames than face the wrath that awaited him.

Edward had his brothers on side this time, and he had a feeling mob mentality may push all of them out of their comfort zones if the boy threatened Bella again.

His body was buoyed up on adrenaline and it was lucky James was nowhere in sight.

X~x~X

Esme and Bella were sitting out in the back garden, talking and laughing together over tea served in his Mom's best china cups and the matching teapot sat on the table in front of them.

Edward showered and changed, and came down to join them.

"So, how was practice?" Bella asked as he leaned over her to kiss her head gently.

"Great, very..satisfying," Edward replied. "I enjoyed it. I think baseball could be a good outlet for me."

Esme smiled and poured him a cup and handed it over. Edward sat in the surprisingly warm sun and let himself relax as his Mom and his girl chatted on, about everything and nothing.

His attention wandered until the subject of James came up.

"I know he's a bad person but surely violence only leads to more violence. He needs counselling and help, not being beaten to a pulp. I was relieved, to be honest, when Jasper and Edward arrived back at school after it happened, so I knew they had nothing to do with the assault on James."

"Sadly," Edward murmured. He owed Emmett big time.

"Edward, you don't mean that. Promise me you will never hurt anyone ever again," Bella had cried.

"I have homework, I'll be in my room," he replied, walking away from them.

One of his team mates had told the others the story. James had left class to use the men's room and somebody had ambushed him from behind. Nobody felt any sympathy for him, and James himself had not come out full of a burning need for revenge. He had quietly left the school, having reported the incident at the office, assuring the Principal the attacker had not been a student but a stranger who had wandered onto the school grounds.

Mr Thomas would have been suspicious except he knew James was a suspected dealer, so it was entirely possible he had owed someone money or ripped a customer off, so he had reported the incident and Charlie Swan had come and taken notes and looked over the area. After agreeing they did need some cctv installed in the buildings and that he would apply for funds to do that, the Principal had let it go.

Charlie had been unsurprised and unsympathetic and suggested maybe if the school rid itself of trouble makers such as James, these things wouldn't happen.

Mr Thomas reviewed Jame's record again. Nothing provable.

Just as Edward Cullen was suspected of many fires about the town, James was pretty much the only contender for many other worse crimes, but once again, neither had left enough evidence.

Had Edward's father not been willing to replace the science building and donate a new wing to the library, criminal charges would have been laid against Edward. The only two wittnesses had been drinking, on school grounds. Their testimony would be ruled too unreliable and his lawyer had advised him the school itself could have been open for a law suit had they proceeded with the case, allowing underage teens to drink here after hours. Like anything could stop them. It had seemed better to take the 'unrelated' donation of funds from Dr Carlisle Cullen and rule the whole thing an incident of unknown vandalizing.

And Edward Cullen so far seemed to be a reformed character. Maybe James had just had some sense knocked into him as well. Maybe he had a little brain damage of the desirable kind?

That was probably too much to hope for, he sighed, and typed an email requesting funds for security measures to be installed in the school buildings.

X~x~X

Edward sat on his balcony with his back against the wall and his knees bent up under his chin. He exhaled the smoke from his lungs and wondered what the Hell he should do. Bella trusted him, with her life and thought he was good deep down inside despite all the evidence to the contrary. He knew better now. There was no redemption. He had tried to kill another human being, no matter how truly despicable that man was.

He couldn't be around normal people. That meant he couldn't be with Bella, as much as he may want to.

Carlisle entered his room and came to sit beside him in the dark.

He took a cigarette from Edward's pack and lit it, and blew out smoke rings. No doubt his son had taken them from his mother's 'secret stash' she truly imagined none of them knew about.

"What happened today, son?"

Edward related the entire story and lay his head on his knees.

"Fuck," said Carlisle, ashing his cigarette. "Okay, you burned down a school building to try and kill James, I get that, and while that is clearly completely unacceptable ,it makes the whole scenario have a real meaning now.

You lacked the brake that should have stopped you going ahead with it but clearly now you know what you tried to do was very wrong. That's a good thing, Edward. That's the silver lining."

"I can't be trusted, can I?" he asked in a whisper. "I wanted to rip him limb from limb today."

Carlisle considered his answer.

"I think you can. You took your aggression out on the baseball instead and only damaged an inanimate object. The old Edward would have tracked James down and who knows? I do think we need to keep up Charlie's rules even though you are both about to turn eighteen and by law, you could do whatever you liked. But I think you realize you will need some guidance as you get to know the new you and find out what makes you tick. I'm pleased you had a meltdown over the shock of hearing what you did. It means you now have a new companion Edward. It's called a conscience. And yours is strong."

"I don't trust myself, I'm scared of what I might do."

"See, the old Edward never thought like that. He just acted and never considered the consequences. Bella's still here. She told me about the things you did, the tire, the bikini incident.

The cheat sheet. I think you were already growing a conscience before the accident and now here it is, stronger, better. Ready to stop you next time you think killing James is a good thing. He needs locking up but maybe Charlie and I can sort something out between us."

"Something legal?" Edward asked.

Carlisle shrugged.

"There's legal and there's legal. I just hope Charlie doesn't lock James in the new Science Building and burn it down. I can't imagine he is going to take the news James planned to rape his daughter too well. I wonder what he planned to do to keep her quiet afterwards?"

Edward tugged at his hair and Carlisle stood up.

"Bella wants to see you. Is that okay?"

Edward shrugged.

"I know you would never hurt her. Today proved the only people in any danger from you would be anyone trying to harm your girlfriend. Just always run any revenge or other plans by me first, okay? I'm sure we can burn James is a whole different way."

Edward promised and Carlisle left after ushering Bella inside and pointing out where Edward sat.

Bella sat down beside him and took a cigarette.

"Hey, don't smoke. It's bad for you," he growled and took it back, putting it inside the packet and pocketing them.

"Edward, you realize what you are is my really fucked up knight in shining armor, right?"

Edward laughed and put his arms around his Bella and held on tight for dear life.

"Leave your window open. I will drive you home then come back through the forest. You never get to sleep alone again. Don't scream or anything when you come up to bed and there's a man in your bedroom, because that's the new routine. I sleep on your bed, beside you."

X~x~X

Carlisle sat at Charlie Swan's table with him. Emmett and Jasper stood by, watching silently.

"Charlie, Bella has an enemy far greater than Edward ever could have been. Could I ask you to lock up your sidearm so I can tell you a story about why my son burned down the science lab?"

**Thanks for reviews, loving them all. Come read An Interlude With A Vampire if you aren't already, please. It needs more readers. (It's a little smutty though, fair warning.)**


	6. Chapter 6

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter Six

"Let's look at a list of every crime Edward has committed," Carlisle suggested.

Charlie locked the gun cabinet and pulled out a file he kept always, as a reminder of what the boy was capable of.

"Allegedly burned down the bar Ray's Hangout."

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked as his son indicated he knew why this had happened.

"Jane Volturi died of a drug overdose. She got her drugs from a dealer who works behind the bar. She told us all at Alec's party she intended trying something new the bartender had recommended and sold her. Edward lost his cool when he found out she died as a direct result of those drugs."

"Hmm, okay," Charlie said.

"Allegedly burnt the local MP ,Mr Fossilwaite's car to a crisp."

"That man was a pedo. Everyone knew, nobody did anything," Emmett shouted. "He may have been freed for insufficient evidence, but you knew, Charlie."

Charlie nodded his agreement. He would have liked to burn the bastard's car himself and he for one had been delighted when it turned out, the man's wife had not kept up his insurance. And they had left town after the 'terror campaign' against him.

Carlisle already had heard all these stories before he left home so he had brought his two other son's with him, to explain the darker side of the earlier version of Edward.

"The suspected arson attack on the Old Woolshed, used for storage space."

"Full of illegally imported cigarettes. Edward doesn't like blackmarket trading. Says it wrecks the economy and also, the other storage units had kiddie porn being stored for resale. We may have accidentally come across it once when we were...looking for our baseball," Emmett answered.

"Let me guess, Edward is against kiddie porn," Charlie stated without fear of being corrected.

"He loathes it and it was best we let him burn the building down when he did. He suddenly realized after he lit it there may have been information as to who was renting the unit so I guess the arson stopped a case of GBH."

"Quite," Charlie agreed. It was a pity really. Whoever was running that operation needed his legs broken and several areas of his anatomy altered.

"Okay, but you can't explain away the Science Building. Let me guess, Mr Banner was doing a Walter White and making amphetamines."

"Nope, not even close. Edward met his friend James Nash there one night, as James had a plan to run by him and he wanted Edward's help. The door was unlocked, so Edward claims, so they went in out of the cold. James explained his plan and Edward left, locking James inside. Then he went to the car and removed two cans of gasoline he had in the trunk, and he set fire to the building."

"With Nash inside? I know the boy is a punk and a no hoper, but Edward was going to burn him alive? You can't talk his way out of this one."

Carlisle nodded to Emmett and Jasper and the two moved their chairs closer to the Chief's, effectively pinning him in.

Carlisle held out his hand.

"The key to the gun safe, Charlie. I promise I do not intend opening it. I just want to hold it for you."

Charlie frowned but complied. He trusted the Doc to keep his word and anyway, the man probably had guns of his own. With three teenage boys, they probably hunted.

"Emmett had the opportunity to ask James about the plan that upset Edward. James Nash's plan was to disable your daughter's truck. The idea came to him when he was out on Halloween with Edward and an exchange student. They came upon Bella with a flat tire. Edward went back and changed her tire and it started James thinking about how unskilled she was with all things mechanical.

He planned to remove something from Bella's engine, come to her rescue, and take her to the old ballet school in town. It's been deserted for five years now, as you know. And it's isolated, nobody would even notice if he broke in."

Charlie was sitting taller, gripping the edge of the table so hard it was surprising his fingers were not indenting the wood. "Go on."

"James planned to break Bella's legs, having seen how handicapped she had been with one broken leg last year. Then he planned to rape her."

Charlie turned a distinct shade of purple and pushed his chair away from the table.

"The key, Carlisle," he snarled.

"Boys," their father said, and Emmett and Jasper grabbed onto one arm each of the Chief.

"Charlie, we need to get this prick, of course we do, but Edward's way was not the right way. Bella doesn't need her father locked up for the rest of her life. She needs you."

"I need to kill him," Charlie choked out.

"Now you understand Edward a little better. He had no sense of control back then and he acted on his gut instinct, like you are trying to do now. He locked James in the building and burned it down. The next day Edward crashed his car rushing to school, no doubt to make sure James was dead and had been found in the ashes.

So, when he woke up in the hospital, he didn't remember any of this. His brother's only knew of his actions after the fact each time. But if you have to charge them with whatever, then do your best. But I will deny every word I have said here tonight and you never found enough evidence when the crime scenes were fresh, to charge Edward."

"Oh I don't want to _charge _Edward with anything, except failing to kill the bastard. He should have checked the other doors. If one was left unlocked, maybe others were as well."

Carlisle considered for the first time maybe Edward had been truthful about that, then.

"Did you two know about what James' planned? Why Edward burned the science building down?"

"Nope, not until James talked about it today. Honestly, we may have known about the kiddie porn stash getting fired up in the old Woolshed but there was no danger to anyone. He did it at midnight and checked there was nobody in the vicinity first. In fact, he delayed it one whole night because the night before some homeless man was sleeping nearby. Edward gave him some money and told him where the shelter was. He wasn't there the next night."

Charlie stopped struggling, that Emmett had arms like a tree trunk. Like he could ever overpower his grip.

"So, are you ready to discuss what we do next?" Carlisle asked him.

Charlie grit his teeth but nodded and the boys let him sit down again but stayed close.

"The simplest thing may be for Edward to renew his friendship with James and lure him somewhere where we can have a policeman waiting to listen to his confession. Edward could tell James he has thought about it and likes his original plan better than the one James accused Edward of having modified the original down to."

"What did he say Edward was doing?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie, it isn't true, not for a moment."

"What?"

"James thinks Edward is pretending to romance Bella to have consensual sex with her. James new plan was to film that and show the video at the after party at Prom. He also planned to have sex with Bella, after Edward, whether she agreed or not. We both know she would never agree."

"So, he still plans to rape her. God, I can't help wishing your boy had succeeded. I would have ruled it an accidental death had it happened and someone had explained this all to me."

"Edward had no recall and the other boys didn't know any of either plan until James shared it with Emmett today."

"So, maybe Emmett could become James' friend," Charlie suggested.

"Um, Emmett may have had to persuade James to tell him the story. James may have fallen down while explaining."

"Oh, the accident in the men's room. All that soap on the floor, he must have slipped. I think I forgot to write in my report about the soap. I must amend that," Charlie replied.

"Thank you. You do believe Edward is not and never has been in league with James in the rape plot?"

"That's pretty clear, Carlisle. He would hardly try and burn the boy to death if he wanted to go along with the plan. Anyway, I've seen how your son looks at my daughter. I am well aware he turns eighteen later this week and she will too, next month. I guess we all know what's going to happen at some point and I think supporting them both if that's what they decide, is the best action. Believe me, I'm not thrilled at the idea, but they will be adults and if there's one thing I know about Bella, she will always make her own decisions. She isn't stupid, unless she really believes your boy loves her, he won't have a hope in Hell."

"He loves her, I think he always has," Carlisle replied.

Charlie laughed.

"I think we both know enough to recognize true love when we see it. I can't say I'm all that happy to see those emotions in someone his age, for my only child, but I have a feeling she feels much the same about him. Somehow, the worst case scenario I imagined, of the two of them making us grandparents before they finished college, doesn't look so grim. I guess if that's the worst thing to ever happen to them, they will be lucky."

"So, what do we do about James?"

"I could arrest him but I could only hold him 72 hours, unless I can find evidence he is a terrorist. Then the PATRIOT Act would allow me to hold him indefinitely. But I can't see a way of pulling that off."

"So, we need to set him up to admit his plan fully in front of a witness then charge him with intending to rape Bella?"

"I'm not sure that would get us anywhere. Some bleeding heart judge will release him because he didn't go through with the plan. I'm not risking my daughter to catch him in the act, it's far too dangerous."

"Of course not. I wonder if we could set him up with his drug dealing. I wonder if he would trust Edward enough to sell him a large quantity of drugs? Enough to put him away for a long time? Esme and I could appear to be leaving the boys home alone for a weekend and Edward could ask James to supply something for the party guests. Whatever drugs have the largest sentence attached?"

"The boy has no prior criminal history. That makes it likely he would get a lighter sentence. Especially with no violence or weapons," Charlie explained.

"I'm beginning to see why Edward just set the place on fire. We know James is dangerous and will only become more so, as he ages and gets out there in the world. There must be some way to nip this in the bud," Carlisle stated.

"Well, we all need to sleep on it and try and come up with something. Meanwhile, I need to get a security system installed in my house. Bella is a sitting duck at night, with me at work more often than not."

"She can stay with us. Esme would love to have her sleep over and we have plenty of guestrooms. And I can promise you, Edward will respect her and not enter into that bedroom."

Charlie laughed.

"Here's the thing. I forgot to bring myself a meal in to work with me last night so I went home to grab something and naturally, I checked on Bella. She was asleep in her bed and your son was asleep beside her, fully clothed, above the covers. I left him there. If she is going to sleep with him, she will. She'll rent a motel room if that is what it takes. They are almost adults. If Esme is comfortable with them sharing his bedroom, then the one thing I am sure about is, Bella could not be safer anywhere else than in it with Edward. He would not let anyone, including James hurt her and at the moment, that is all I care about. Where is Edward now?"

Carlisle looked at Jasper and Emmett.

"He's at home but he plans to sleep in Bella's room until this thing with James is sorted."

"You know, that makes me like him more, not less," Charlie admitted.

The sound of the Volvo pulling up out the front alerted them all to Bella's arrival home. Charlie met her at the front door and asked Edward to come inside.

"Bella, Carlisle has invited you to stay at their house until we get James sorted. Go pack a bag, and take something to sleep in, you will be sharing Edward's bedroom, with my blessing. I don't want you sleeping alone until this is a done deal and that boy is safely locked up.

What you two do is your own business, all I ask is you keep her safe, in every sense of the word, Edward."

"Yes sir," Edward replied, looking as shocked as he felt.

"Nobody, and I do mean nobody, touches my daughter without a clearly spoken invitation from her to do so, and then he does it in a way that keeps her safe and doesn't result in any consequences. Are we clear? Now, go help her pack."

Bella shook her head then led Edward upstairs and started sorting out something to wear to bed that wasn't old sweats and cami's, her usual garb.

She pulled out the one set of decent lingerie her mother had sent for her last birthday, from the drawer it had sat inside, unworn.

Edward's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"Bella, did Charlie just give us permission to have sex?" he asked with a frown.

Bella smiled. "He did, but not until I expressly give you permission to."

"So, maybe this is part of my brain damage and I'm imagining it all," he concluded.

Bella laughed. "Sure, if that's what you would prefer to believe. I have no plans for us to sleep together for a while yet, by the way."

"But you do have plans for us one day?" he asked, in surprise.

"Definitely, but more likely one night."

Edward took her into his arms and kissed her passionately and she growled and ground against him.

"Not tonight, I said."

"But there are somethings we could try," he suggested. "Like, not real sex but ..stuff."

"Have you done stuff with many girls?" she asked.

"None, not ever. But I would like to, with you. Would you like to? With me?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Will you wear this nightie?" he whispered in her ear.

"I'm sure I will, at first."

Edward stepped back and sat down on her bed.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, packing her bag. She walked towards Edward and stood between his knees and kissed him. He placed his hands on her hips and shook his head.

"That's adding to my problem, not curing it, Bella."

"Oh, sorry," she blushed and stepped away. Then she grinned. "Maybe I can help you out with your problem. Maybe I could get on my knees, and undo your pants and put my mouth on you," she said, kneeling in front of him. "And maybe while I'm helping you, my father will come see what's taking so long and catch us and lock me in a cell instead."

Edward felt his hard on shrink and Bella grinned.

"See, I told you I could help you."

Edward growled and took her hand and her bag and led them downstairs.

Jasper and Emmett elected to go home with Edward and Bella, and the two father's sat at the table and tossed ideas at one another after the kids had left.

"The thing is, James was seen in the company of a missing schoolgirl the day she disappeared," Charlie stated to Carlisle, now they were alone.

X~x~X

Esme had talked to her husband on the phone by the time they arrived so she ushered Bella upstairs and offered her the use of the guestroom beside her son's bedroom if she preferred.

"I can hardly believe I am saying this, but my Dad specifically wants me sleeping in with Edward, he doesn't want me in a room alone."

Esme smiled. "I'm sure your father knows you two will treat one another with respect and make your own choices."

Bella sat down on Edward's bed and Esme sat beside her. "I want us to wait until I'm eighteen. It's only until next month and we really haven't been a couple for long," she explained.

"That sounds reasonable, I'm sure Edward will agree with your decision."

"I know he will. I trust him completely, Esme. We've always had something going on between us and it just feels right, being together now. But I'm not rushing and I don't think he is ready, either. We need more time to get used to this new relationship."

"Very wise," Esme agreed. "Do you want him to sleep on the couch? I'm sure he will, if you ask."

Bella shook her head. "I am sure we can manage to sleep in the same bed and just kiss and stuff. Nothing unsafe. But I will ask Carlisle to prescribe the Pill for me, because it will happen one day soon and we don't need any consequences. Not at our ages. We have college and careers and he has eight years of medical training to get through."

"I'm glad you have thought it through," Esme smiled. "I have put clean towels in Edward's bathroom. Yours are pink."

"Thank you. Could you ask him to come up here now?"

"Sure. Good Night, Bella."

"Good Night, Esme and thanks."

"I must tell Jasper to reset the alarm when he goes to Alice's place later. I wish he would just bring her here, I'd feel safer with you all under the one roof."

Bella took a shower and dressed in the nightie and Edward was laying back in his bed already and he whistled as she walked towards him.

"You like?" she asked, twirling around for him.

"It looks amazing," he answered.

"But, let me guess. It would look even more amazing on your floor?"

"Something like that," he grinned and opened the bed covers for her.

X~x~X

James was absent from school the next day but the Cullen boys had no intention of lowering their guard and Bella was always sandwiched between Edward and another brother everywhere she went. The other students were used to her being accompanied by Cullen brothers, just it had always been Emmett and Jasper before, and they had guarded her against Edward. Now it seemed Edward had joined the body guards and nobody was sure who the new threat was.

Many suspected it was simply Edward laying his claim and making sure Mike Newton was kept away but Mike himself knew he had never stood a chance with her. It had always been Edward. He even wondered if she had enjoyed many of his pranks as she could have swapped schools, there were other alternatives. Had she truly hated Edward's treatment, she could have enrolled in the small private school in town or even the High School on the Res. They accepted 'palefaces' under certain conditions and Bella had grown up knowing most of the kids around her own age that did attend that school.

And they all knew Jacob Black would have been more than willing to befriend her as a fellow student.

By the end of the day, Bella just wanted some space and time alone and Edward drove her home to his parents house and took her upstairs.

"So. The alarm is on and nobody can enter without a key and knowing the code. Just relax, baby and just let it go for today."

"I think I would prefer James was at school, at least then we could watch him," Bella replied. "Not knowing where he is, when he plans to turn up, it's freaking me out."

"Hey, love, we will work something out. The Dads' will come up with something."

"How could he not have a record, with all the things he has done?" she asked mournfully. A James with two strikes against him would be so much better. A simple set up and he would be in prison. Charlie would know how to set him up and Carlisle would fund it.

"How come I have no record and clearly I have done a lot of really bad things? I understand the Science Building fire now but it seems I was fond of burning things down. I just can't see how that compulsion has gone away. I have no desire to see anything burn. I even drove us past a house fire to see if I felt the urge to stop and watch and nothing. I just needed to get you away , to someplace safe."

"So, maybe being an arsonist was just a phase," she suggested.

"One Hell of a phase. I couldn't go through an addiction to xBox games like most boys?"

"It seems not," Bella said, laying herself beside him on the bed. His bed. Their bed.

That worried her most of all. Her father's rolling over and insisting she slept in here with Edward. That was not the Charlie she knew. Had the James thing not been happening, he would have moved Heaven and Earth to keep her out of this bed.

Had he known Edward slept over the other night...there could have been bloodshed. Obviously Charlie's opinion of Edward had completely reversed, to even consider putting her here, in what was previously the lion's den.

That could only mean her father knew James was really, properly dangerous. For Charlie to sacrifice her virtue to keep her safe was unimaginable unless the threat was really horrendous. Of course, her father knew more about James and his activities than anyone else in Forks but what he did must truly be scary.

The only really bad outstanding crime in town was the disappearance of Kimberley Biers. Her parents were in Charlie's office weekly, with posters and fridge magnets and anything to keep their daughter's face in front of the public. Her older brother Riley was searching relentlessly for her and had missed much of the last term at school as a result.

Kim was just not the typical adventurous girl who would run away to find some place better. She was quiet and shy and studious and Bella had seen her in the library many lunch times, always with her head buried in a book.

She was neither popular nor unpopular. She had a group of friends, but none were into reckless pursuits and not one of them seemed to have known she was leaving, nor had any clue where she went. She hadn't had a boyfriend, but neither was she upset about that. The girls said she had a few slight crushes on older boys, but none in her own Sophomore year. This was true of many of the younger female students.

They all liked Emmett, with him being the star of football and basketball. They all adored Jasper, with his blond tresses and habit of sitting back playing guitar in lunch breaks. He was the romantic hero of many a Forks High female student.

Edward even was an object of her adoration but nothing more than his name scribbled on her homework diary. He had never spoken to her.

Bella wondered if Charlie suspected or knew of a link between Kim and James, it seemed the most likely reason he was being so unreasonably reasonable.

"Would you like me to run you a bath or give you a massage?" Edward asked, watching Bella's face as she seemed to get more intense not less.

"Umm, that would be nice," she replied, shutting off all thoughts of James.

She slowly stripped off her clothes and Edward spread a large bath towel on their bed and Bella lay facedown and he worked on her shoulders, smiling and kissing every mark her body had.

"I knew this freckle was here, I knew that scar was there," he said happily as he rubbed the oil into her skin.

Nakedness was new, in the light of day, but they had been naked last night, under the covers. They had done no more than explore one another's bodies and experiment to what felt good and what could get one another off.

Most of their peers were well past this point, but they were in no hurry and with them being allowed to share a bed, there was plenty of time.

Carlisle had supplied both the Pill, and condoms, in case their restraint proved to be not as strong as they hoped, and Bella was already comfortable showing herself to Edward.

He showered in front of her, and with her, now.

Somehow the ties that bound them together had started so long ago, they seemed more of a couple already than most others with several months of dating behind them would be.

And tomorrow Edward would turn eighteen.

Much as she wanted his birthday to be special for him, it being the only one he really would remember, Bella still wanted to wait until her own eighteenth before they consummated their union.

Edward understood and didn't try to hurry her at all.

Bella knew he wanted, more than he even wanted sex, to have her trust. And he was willing to do whatever it took to secure that.

She did trust him already but it didn't hurt to let him work for it before she acknowledged that fact.

"Roll over," he said thickly, his eyes scanning her body.

Bella complied and Edward covered his hands in lotion again and started at her throat. Bella could feel what the contact with such large expanses of her skin was doing to him, and she bit her lip to suppress a laugh.

Honestly, men were so easy. She knew he was at her mercy and she revelled in the power.

He wanted her, in every way but he would never force the issue. He would wait and pretend he wanted to wait as well, but the fire in his eyes begged otherwise.

As he ran his hands up and down her thighs, she knew he was getting too turned on and he stood and walked to his adjoining bathroom and knelt to turn on the faucet in the spa bath.

Bella stayed on the bed and gave him space to calm himself down.

This was all so new to them, but it still felt right. Edward clearly had no idea how often he could ask her to help him with his release and he didn't want her to think their relationship was based on sex.

But he desperately wanted her help.

"Come in the bath with me," she asked as she walked in and lowered herself into the sudsy water. Edward frowned then removed his tented boxers and climbed in behind her.

Bella reached back and took hold of his erection and stroked him to completion as he moaned and kissed her neck and hair. She felt him release against her back and he washed her clean and kissed her flesh.

"God, Bella, I want you so much," he whispered as she turned to straddle him. She had already learnt, one release was only the beginning for him, he would need to let go again and maybe again after that before he would be back in control of his mind again.

His lips found hers and he kissed her deeply, as his hands sought her breasts and caressed them and Bella felt herself slide along his rock hard shaft between her folds.

It felt amazing for her too and she became as breathless as he did and they both shuddered and cried out together. His arms immediately encircled her body and he held her tight.

"I love you, so much," he cried into her hair.

"Doesn't count if we just did that," she chuckled.

"It. Does. So. Count." he stated gruffly. Bella kissed him and felt him harden again.

"Will you ever get enough?" she whispered in his ear and he held her by the hips and guided her along again, moving her body slowly and allowing her to keep contact from his base to his tip.

"God, Bella, I can't even imagine not wanting to do this with you. You feel amazing. I love you, no matter what you say."

"I love you, too," she replied and kissed him and felt herself rising to the peak as he moved their bodies together. He was so hard and large, she did slightly fear the day, or night, he finally entered that inside her body. She feared it may not even fit but she too, wanted to find out.

She was so tempted to take a hand in this and guide him inside her. Her body was hot and relaxed and it seemed like the thing to do.

"No, Baby, we are going to wait," he said jerkily as she touched him and tried to show him where she wanted him. She knew, despite his words, it was entirely her choice and he would go along with whatever she did. In the end, she simply circled his penis at the base and moved her hand along as he kept rocking against her , exciting her with his tip against her bundle of nerves.

It was almost real full sex and when they both felt the rush and cried out, she was glad they had waited.

It could hardly be any better than this, anyway, surely.

She looked down and watched him pump into the water and wondered what it would feel like when he filled her, instead?

Esme opened the bedroom door later after her tapping went unanswered and found them curled together, asleep in bed.

She felt like crying with joy, seeing her son lying there, spooned around Bella, keeping her safe. His lips were resting on the top of her head and he quietly admitted he loved her, in his sleep. This was the Edward that Esme had always had faith existed and seeing him now, so different, so happy, it was worth every hard year of raising him.

She hoped their love would last the test of time, and maybe being apart for college. Edward would be able to pick any facility he wanted, Bella would be forced to go to whatever university gave her a scholarship. That gave her an idea.

She walked downstairs and put their dinners in the fridge. They would come down and reheat them if they were hungry. Then she opened up her laptop and Googled the information she needed to read.

X~x~X

Waking up on his eighteenth birthday, with a naked Bella curled across his chest, was as perfect as any day could begin. Edward smiled at her sleeping face and stroked her hair and wondered how on earth everything could change so vastly, so quickly.

Thank God for car accidents that killed off the bad side and allowed the good side to flourish.

More than anything, he loved the way she made him feel like he was a better and worthy person now. Not that she had ever made him feel bad about himself before, that had been his own doing.

He assumed he had always felt unworthy of her, as the few memories that returned were all about him feeling gutted when he did things to hurt her. But he couldn't stop because she never reacted like the others did. They all screamed at him and said they hated him, and he deserved that, but she was so stubborn. She never hated him and so he had to keep trying to get her to that point.

"Why did you never hate me, Bella?" he asked her as she slept. "Why did I hate me so much?"

He both wanted to know but yet feared the truth. What if he had done something completely unforgivable when he was a child?

What if he had killed someone? Kids did kill, and he had no doubt the ability was there inside him, and he knew there were triggers that even now, threw him close to losing control. Maybe he had been completely feral and untamed back then.

He knew from the way everyone reacted, he was a completely different person now, and therefore he must have been really bad before. Some girls at school still avoided walking past him at school, turning to head back the way they came when they spotted him coming towards them.

Some of the boys were wary and didn't reply if he spoke to them, moving away quickly instead, not trusting he had changed. And the 'crew' members looked at him with the type of respect he hoped to God he had never earned, for it was not given because he had been a good person.

Bella stirred and woke up and he held her closely and kissed her as she smiled at him.

"Happy Birthday, Edward. I am first?" she asked.

"No, the other girls in the bed got in first, they are all hiding in the bathroom waiting to give me my gifts in the shower."

"Oh, are we making a porn video today?" she chuckled and Edward frowned.

"You do watch porn? You are a healthy red blooded male of the right age group."

"I do watch porn of a sort but you may laugh."

"Okay, tell me more," she grinned.

"I watch what Emmett calls, girl's porn. Porn with a story. I hate seeing men just fuck random women, and then fuck the next girl in line, and his mates fuck the last one he just had. That's abuse, not sex."

"And your preferred porn is about?"

"Boy meets girl, kisses her, takes her out, they fool around a bit in the back row of the cinema, maybe they go home together and have sex, just them, nobody else. No weird shit, just coupling. Cuddling all night, having more sex in the morning, maybe in the shower. I like how it leaves it open for you to think maybe they became a regular couple and...fell in love and stuff."

"You romantic. Where do you find porn like that?"

"I just Google Porn For Women, there are plenty of sites. There's no threesomes, no swapping partners. Just a man and a woman having sex."

"Maybe we could watch some together," Bella suggested.

"Maybe we could," he replied. "Just never, ever ask Emmett if you can borrow any of his dvds. Believe me, you don't want to ever see that shit. Even I have had to leave the room. Jasper suddenly has an assignment to finish as soon as Emmett suggests we watch something."

"Emmett likes it rough?" Bella asked.

"Emmett likes watching all sorts of orgies and shit. Just don't ever talk to him about porn. You are far too innocent, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed.

"We should get up, before members of this family start coming in to say Happy Birthday," Edward decided, much as he would prefer to stay right here in bed with Bella. The thought of anyone else seeing her naked, even beneath the covers, was too appalling.

"Hey, I had fun last night," he said, pulling her closer to kiss. "You were amazing."

"I had fun too. Edward, we don't have to wait. It is your birthday and I do want to give you something meaningful and memorable."

"We decided to wait until you turn eighteen and we will. I just like the idea of us both being legal adults before we do that. Me being an adult and you being a seventeen year old schoolgirl...nuh, it just doesn't sound the same. I want to wait, and you will make sure we do. That's the gift I want from you."

"You do want to have proper sex with me?" she asked a little hesitantly.

"God yes, I am counting down. Seventeen more days and getting closer all the time."

"I guess I can control myself for seventeen days," she agreed.

"And you have to control me, as well. Just remind me, when I forget in the heat of the moment."

"Um, I believe you have the self control, not me."

Edward laughed. "See, that's just funny because nobody ever accused me of having self control before, ever."

"Well, you are the new Edward now. I'm having first shower, you can wait seeing you are determined to keep us virginal and all."

He decided he could just sit and watch her shower, so Bella exaggerated how grubby her breasts were and washed them for a long time while Edward shook his head and moaned at her, and he cracked and joined her for a little bit of fun in the shower.

Breakfast was set out on the table and Carlisle handed Edward a set of keys.

"New car? Another one? What type this time?" Jasper asked.

"Nope, the Volvo is a good safe car. I'm sure in time I will buy Edward another fancy car but for now, this is us acknowledging Edward is an adult. The keys are to his first apartment, in New York. Just off campus of the New York Medical School. It's only a small two bedroom place in a new building, but it's very nice and your Mom has decorated and furnished it. Happy Birthday, Edward."

"Carlisle, that's too much," Edward cried.

"Nope, you will need a home to live in and I believe it's a good investment. I have bought your brothers an apartment each in the same building so you will all still live together, almost, yet have your independence. And you can each sell them when you finish your courses and decide where to live. It will give you a fair whack of the cost of your first house."

Carlisle had been extremely lucky to get this apartment. He had bought two for Jasper and Emmett off the plans before the building was started and had never expected Edward would ever be in a place where he would be able to live away from them, so had bought a three bedroom apartment in another building, thinking he and Esme would be moving and living with him.

He was extremely glad to have been able to go and find a tenant who had changed his mind about which college he wanted to attend and had put the apartment up for sale. It was a penthouse and the other boys were two floors down but he had no choice other than to buy this one, or miss out. He wanted the three boys there close to one another.

He explained to the boys and they both agreed it was fine. In truth, they were so amazed at how lucky they both were, they would never have dreamed of complaining about their own places being lower down than Edward's anyway.

Emmett handed his brother a gift and warned him to open it alone, Jasper gave him a collection of books of piano compositions, and of course, Esme had bought him enough new clothes to last several years at college.

Bella shyly handed over her gift, a gold chain in a thicker make than hers and he kissed her and put it on.

"Thank you all, so much. I'm just.. speechless at your generosity. I'm sure Bella and I will love living in the apartment and I hope you come visit us, Mom and Dad."

Bella averted her eyes, she knew the chances of her winning a scholarship to NYU was probably remote and she would be somewhere somewhat less prestigious. Away from Edward. But today was his birthday and she was not going there. There was no way she could burst his bubble of happiness today.

They ate and gathered their books for school and the boys both pushed Edward about in the driveway as Bella went back in to grab her gloves, seeing the day was chillier than expected.

"I'll give them to him after school. No point upsetting him beforehand," Esme was saying to Carlisle and Bella frowned and paused.

"There's no way to know what's inside, it could be good news," Carlisle replied and Bella risked a quick glance inside the room they were in. Esme held a couple of buff colored envelopes.

"He's an adult and he has to know something about his real family, I guess. I'm sure it won't be anything listing the abuse he went through. What point would there be in sending him anything like that? It's probably just news of his parents, maybe?"

"I just don't want anything to upset him," Esme replied and her husband pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.

Bella snuck out and joined the others and they headed for school.


	7. Chapter 7

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 7

Edward parked the Volvo in Bella's usual parking space and managed to get to her side to open her door before she did herself. She smiled as she alighted, and kissed him rather more passionately than she usually did, in public, so it was well worth the courtesy he had shown her.

Jasper and Alice practically ran into one another's arms and their lips were locked in seconds. Emmett alone still parked his jeep with the A listers.

Emmett scanned the students here already, looking for one in particular. He knew his family were probably never going to accept his choice or understand what he even saw in her, apart from the obvious. Rose was different with him. True, they had hooked up a few times over the past two years and both had been with others as well and they had never attempted to form any sort of ongoing relationship before. But it felt like time.

Time to move on from High School sexcapades and maybe try and become a couple.

Emmett had talked to Rosalie about this and she was thinking about it. Like him, she had no intention of being as promiscuous at college. Here it was almost expected but the thought of random sex as she went into her twenties seemed kind of childish almost.

And she liked Emmett. She knew he could please her in ways many of the pathetic boys here had not managed to. He'd been around enough to know what women liked and was willing to do anything to make sure she enjoyed their trysts as well.

Of course, Tanya and Lauren were completely aghast at this development and both were trying their hardest to keep their friend footloose and fancy free.

College and the freedom it would give them was their Nirvana and they had shared men, together in threeways, even though Rose had been ridiculous and decided that action was a step too far for her.

They were both determined to keep her and Emmett apart.

But today, they had something even more pressing to accomplish.

They hadn't shared their idea with Rose, she was changing before their eyes and whereas once she would have been the ring leader in this little adventure, now they doubted she would even want to participate.

Many of the students were getting used to the new Edward so some did actually greet his arrival with a "Happy Birthday" and maybe a handshake. Even Mike Newton had nodded and mumbled, and the two girls sat across the room and simply smiled briefly in Edward's direction.

As they half expected, that darn Rose was sitting with Emmett, again, talking quietly, and they both shook their heads as Emmett covered Rose's hand with his own as he spoke to her with a degree of urgency.

They would have time to nip this in the bud before they graduated, but today was a special day.

Edward Cullen was eighteen today and he had never been fucked.

Sure, they could see that would soon be rectified but if there was one thing Tanya and Lauren could assess, it was the change in body language that occurred, no matter how subtle, when a couple finally did it and got down and dirty together, and it had not happened yet.

Tanya was by far the most experienced and she had called dibs on 'breaking in' the coppery haired Greek God herself. Of course, Lauren could join in and even fuck him as well, but Tanya would be first. Lauren hadn't argued, there was no point. Tanya called the shots and as long as she got seconds, what did it matter?

Spanish class was the only class he attended without that annoying Swan creature, and what luck they both took it. Both were failing but they were hardly in that class to learn the stupid language anyway.

Sure, his brother Emmett was in this class as well but he was so busy trying to convince Rose to give him a chance, he would never even notice anyone missing from their lesson today.

Lauren accidentally jostled Bella as they passed and she mumbled an apology and Tanya grinned and held up the cellphone she had just relieved from the oblivious girl. Bella only had eyes for Edward, and they didn't even pause in their conversation as they headed for her first class. Edward kissed her at the doorway, then hurried off in the opposite direction towards the Language block.

Lauren was standing so she partially blocked the doorway and Edward paused and frowned, no doubt trying to get past her without any body contact. Right then, his cell buzzed.

Lauren smiled at him and kept her spot as he read the text, frowned, and headed back away from the classroom.

"Here he comes," she stated into her own phone, and handed the teacher the notes excusing herself and Tanya from class due to women's issues, and she hurried along behind him.

Edward tried to call Bella's cell again and shut his own, frustrated.

What could have happened in that short few minutes that had her send that text? And why did she want him to meet her near the lunchroom?

He hurried along and paused at the sound of someone crying.

Where was it coming from? What the fuck had happened to Bella?

He opened the door to the janitor's closet just as Lauren closed the gap between them and shoved him roughly inside, and Tanya grabbed his arms from the front and heaved.

Edward half fell, reaching out to grab onto to something for support and Tanya snapped the handcuff around the wrist of the hand nearest to her.

Lauren jerked his other arm back behind him and in seconds, they had him just how they wanted him. Trussed and helpless, hands behind his back, neatly shackled.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" he yelled and struggled against his bonds. These were not the flimsy handcuffs made for a little bedroom fun. They were the real deal. Stolen from a young green police officer who had once attempted to come to Tanya's aid one night outside the then still existing Ray's Bar.

She had stumbled against him and taken his handcuffs and since then, they had come in handy on a few occasions but never as conveniently as now.

Tanya pushed Edward down onto his back as he struggled to remain upright, putting all her weight behind a sudden punch to the side of his head to gain the advantage, and he fell, his vision briefly cloudy and his ears ringing. She quickly removed his shoes, trousers, and boxers, then she and Lauren used Lauren's weaker handcuffs on his ankles before he recovered his senses and kicked out at them.

"Gag him," Tanya ordered and Lauren complied. Lauren looked up at her friend and held out the blindfold. Yes? No?  
>"Fine, maybe he will think of her and fuck me properly if he has that on," she shrugged, and Lauren slid the black sleep mask over his eyes.<p>

"Okay, Edward. We heard it was your birthday and what better gift could we give you than a little 'welcome to adulthood' party with just the three of us? Right? You don't need to thank us, having the chance to fuck someone with a Wondercock this size is thanks enough. Now, just so you know, I'm going to be your first, isn't that just peachy? Then Lauren is going to be your second and if you want thirds, you greedy boy, I guess she and I will toss for it."

Tanya's hands stroked at his flaccid penis and Lauren shook her head.

"You are going to have to suck on it, or should I?" she said and knelt beside his hips.

"What the fuck?" roared Emmett as he crashed the door back so hard it jerked off the upper hinges.

"I told you they would never both be missing when he was without a very bad reason," Rose said, glaring at the two girls as Emmett ripped the mask from his brother's eyes and tore off the duct tape from his mouth.

"Fuck," Edward screamed as the tape tore at his flesh.

"We were going to, until this Neanderthal and his snitch interrupted," Lauren snickered.

"Give me the keys or I rip your arms off and slap you with the sloppy end," Emmett said in a deadly quiet voice.

Tanya sighed and dropped the keys into his hands.

"Come on, we were just going to have some fun with him. You never refused being tied up and fucked, why would he?"

"Because Edward doesn't do random sex and you know it, you bitch. I ought to report you to Chief Swan. How embarrassing would it be to be arrested for attempted rape, Tanya, you stupid bitch? This is what you are reduced to, attacking men and shackling them to force them to have sex with you?"

"Oh for fucks sake," Lauren sighed.

"Just forget it. Walk away," Edward said, hurriedly dressing himself. "Not one word to Bella or anyone else or you two are dead meat. Do you understand me? One person out of this closet hears about this, I will know who to kill. I've killed before. I've burned down buildings with people like you locked inside. Remember that."

Okay, maybe he had not killed before but they would believe it.

"Apologize," Emmett boomed and grabbed both girls and stood them before Edward as he buttoned the waistband of his pants.

"Sorry, so sorry for trying to have some fun," Lauren mumbled.

"Yeah, your loss. Go fuck that little Swan bitch and.."

Edward's hand struck Tanya across the face before he even thought of doing that action.

His eyes darkened and his body shook and Emmett stepped to his side and grabbed his shoulder.

"Calm down, they will never speak to you again or speak Bella's name, right?"

Tanya was clutching her cheek that was rapidly turning purple and she nodded.

"Sorry, we won't ever do anything again. To you or Bella." Emmett grabbed Bella's cell phone.

"Now go to the school nurse and explain how Lauren opened a door in your face and bruised it," he ordered, handing the cell to his brother.

The two girls walked away, without a backward glance.

"Rose knew they were up to something and made me follow Lauren," Emmett explained.

"So, Rose has swapped teams?" Edward asked.

"You did it, now consider maybe Rose may want to turn over a new leaf as well. She didn't have to tell me, I would never have noticed the three of you being absent in class. She saved your ass, Edward. You owe her, whether you like it or not."

"Thanks, Rose. I do mean that. Thank you, sincerely. I've come back from a lot and I don't remember everything that happened to me in my past but I would have never gotten this out of my head if it had happened."

"I can't even imagine what they were thinking. I mean, fucking you if you showed the slightest interest in wanting to do that, I could understand but not this. You always refused all three of us before, you were not about to suddenly decide to take them up on their offers now you and...Bella.. are a couple."

"So, we all agree Rose has changed and we can move on?" Emmett asked.

"I am more than willing to give her a chance after this," Edward agreed. "Thanks again, Rose. You my not understand how badly I would have been fucked up had they managed to do what they wanted to do. I've never...and I really need my first time to be both special and with Bella. I need some sanity and normalcy in my new life. I need good memories to cherish, not bad memories that have to be repressed. Thank you, sincerely."

The three walked towards the lunchroom and sat down at a table to wait out the current lesson and attend the next. Rose went to ask for some ice for Edward's cheek, which was angrily red from the punch and she held it against his skin as he hissed, and took it from her hand.

"Gym class," Emmett said. "I guess you will be out in the cages."

Something about the way he said that triggered a memory in Edward's mind and he frowned.

"Was I ever in a cage? Like, a small metal cage? Like a dog crate?"

Emmett looked at him, appalled. "Like, when you were a kid?" he asked.

"I guess so. I don't suppose an adult would fit inside one."

"Or even try to," Emmett agreed."You okay, Edward?"

"Yeah, I guess, just being helpless against those two and being tied up triggered some memory. Or maybe I just saw it in a movie. I have trouble sorting what is real and what I imagined or stored in the wrong part of my brain. Like, I clearly remember having sex with Bella yet we never have. And I don't believe I've ever slept with anyone else."

"Nope, you are as pure as a mountain stream," Emmett confirmed. "You might have substituted her image with one of the ladies in your girlie porn," he suggested.

"Girlie porn?" Rose asked.

"Shit, Rose, never ever ask Edward to lend you his dvd's, they are just...weird."

"Yeah, coming from someone who watches films like Twinklight..."

"Hey, I did not know that was gay porn," Emmett retorted. "I thought it was just vampires having sex. Regular hot vampire sex."

"I've seen Twinklight," Rose said and Emmett smiled and pulled her to his side while Edward raised his eyebrows.

He was feeling calmer by the minute and glad he had done no more than slap Tanya.

"So, Rose, can I ask you? How reasonable was it when I hit Tanya? From a female's point of view."

"Totally understandable and justified, I'm surprised you didn't punch the bitch. I want to. That's just wrong, what they tried to do. I'm all for free love but never forced sex. I don't see why it's a lesser crime because they are female and they were attacking a male. We should report them."

"Nah, I don't need any more weird in my life. Having Charlie Swan know I was almost a rape victim when his biggest fear is Bella could be...too freaky. Let it go. I do kind of wonder about Tanya and Lauren. They really are predators. That would have spurred a much greater reaction in me before the crash. Probably involving fire. I don't get the whole arson thing now."

Emmett related the entire story to Rose and Edward frowned at hearing every single thing he set on fire had a reason and purpose. He hadn't known before and now he could even downgrade his own fears about himself. Now he could control his reactions, he knew this was not something he would ever do again.

"I'm going to go get changed for Gym," Edward said and the three walked towards the changerooms.

"Shit, cops," Rose said, halting as they entered the hallway with their lockers along one wall. Charlie Swan and another two officers were standing with the Principal and Charlie was gingerly holding up a gun with a pencil through the trigger guard.

Another officer held a collection of boxes of ammunition and Charlie bagged the gun then retrieved another from the locker open in front of them.

"James Nash's locker. What a shock," Edward smiled.

"And it's a felony to bring firearms onto school property. James is really up shit creek now," Emmett replied.

"Let's just hope he returns to school so Charlie can arrest him," Edward said.

The rest of the day was uneventful, and Edward debated with himself whether or not he needed to share with Bella what had almost happened and in the end, it seemed no secrets were best.

He drove them to the beachfront at La Push on their way home and took her hand.

"Come for a walk with me."

Bella was naturally curious but she accepted and they walked towards the line where the waves met the shore and looked out to the horizon.

"I have to talk to you about something but know from the start, nothing happened. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied with a slight frown. Whatever he was about to say, she knew he would not have done anything to cause her pain.

"After I walked you to class, I got a text from your phone," he began, pulling out the cell phone and showing her.

"i didn't send that. I lost my phone sometime this morning. I thought I had left it at home."

"Lauren or Tanya stole it from you. They sent me the text with it. I went to meet you as asked and they surprised me and managed to almost knock me out and drag me into the janitor's closet."

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. Two questions battled for priority. "Did they...do anything to you?"

"I'm fine and they would have except Emmett and Rosalie Hale came to my rescue before they got their hands on me," he edited. She didn't need to know they had both touched him in a place he never wanted any other hands but hers to touch.

"Emmett broke the door down and I may have slapped Tanya's face but it could have been worse."

"Why did they do that to you?"Bella asked. She had been well aware of Rose's interest in Edward but this news was surprising. Rose had stopped her cohorts?

"According to Tanya, they wanted to welcome me to adulthood. Rose knew nothing about it, she had pretty much pissed the others off by spending time with Emmett. They didn't mind her taking him into the janitor's closet herself but the two of them kept sitting together and talking and excluding them so they decided to have some fun alone. I'm very grateful to Rose. Who would ever have imagined that ?"

"So, she has deserted the Bitch Brigade and saved your virtue? God, Edward, this is like some sick twisted alternate universe. Here's us on our guards against James and his bad intentions and this happens?"

"Almost happens. They didn't manage to begin to defile me, Thank God."

"Do you think it's a sign?" she asked. "Do you think we should just do it and make sure we get to be each other's firsts?"

"No Baby, nobody is pushing us into doing this before we are ready. We will do it in our own time, when it feels right. When it's what you and I want to happen, not before. Not as insurance. We have had a close call but it has nothing to do with you and me. I love you, Bella and we will wait, like we planned."

He walked them back to the dry sand and sat down and put his arms around her tighty and kissed her. "Nothing can come between us and we know neither of us would do anything to hurt the other. I just didn't want you to hear some rumor and think the worst. I don't think many people know but it is Forks and word always spreads like wildfire."

"Do you think James will come back?" she asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know. I kind of think the announcement by the Principal was a bad idea. The crew will warn James he faces arrest if he returns and takes one step on school property. On one hand, you are probably safe at school now, on the other, who knows how a guy like him thinks? We can't let down our guard."

Bella shivered, both from fear and the wind, which was getting cooler.

"Come on, let's go home and eat birthday cake and open Emmett's gift...no, maybe I will do that alone and maybe show you what it is. Maybe not."

"Do you have any clues what he got you?" she asked.

"He has been threatening for a while to buy me an inflatable companion, so I can't rule anything out."

"You could always inflate it and put it in his bed, he is the one who sleeps alone."

"Yeah, well, I think that may have just changed. I have an idea Rose may start being his constant companion."

"Are you okay with that?" Bella checked.

"If I expect others to give me a second chance, then I have to offer her the same courtesy. She is different around him. He's different around her. They have both had a pretty wild lifestyle, Bella. Maybe all that matters is if that the two people in a relationship are somewhat evenly experienced. Maybe it doesn't matter at all, if you meet the right one. Who knows? I'm glad I have never been with any other girls and I treasure the fact you have never had any special boyfriends either. It makes us seem all the more special."

Esme handed out cake plates and forks and Edward cut his cake and he handed out slices to Bella, Alice, Rose and his Mom before Jasper and Emmett and himself.

He and Bella spent some time playing xBox games with the others and Edward played the piano as the girls helped with dinner.

After the meal, Edward was about to take his girl upstairs when his father asked him to come to his study instead. Emmett and Rose had disappeared and Jasper and Alice were wrapped in one another's arms watching a girlie dvd that Edward didn't want to sit through yet again.

Esme sat down with Carlisle, and Bella offered to leave, but Edward wanted her to stay.

No secrets.

"These are from your maternal grandmother. One we have had for a while, but we decided to keep it until you turned eighteen. I hope that was the right decision. The other arrived from your Court Appointed legal representative. I imagine it's about your biological parents estate. May we stay while you read them?"

"Sure," Edward agreed.

The first envelope named Edward as the sole heir to all properties owned by his mother, on her death. And the last Will from his maternal grandmother naming him as her heir as well. While his mother owned little, her mother owned a lot.

He already knew there was a trust fund in his name but he was considerably richer than they had expected. Edward just shrugged. He didn't really care about the money. Carlisle and Esme had always made sure he had more than any boy his age needed as it was. Maybe he could pay them back for the apartment?

The second envelope caught his interest more, as he opened the letter and a jumble of photographs fell out. Edward looked at each and read the writing on the back of every one.

"Ha, this is me, in Boston Maternity Hospital, aged one day."

Esme and Bella both grabbed at it and smiled at the small but long limbed baby with the thick copper hair.

"This is my mother," he said quietly, handing over a photo of himself aged a few months, in the arms of a small, frightened looking girl. She appeared to be maybe fifteen or sixteen at most.

The others showed a progression as he aged.

The house changed when he was about a year old, and suddenly he was always with a middle aged couple.

"My Mother's parents. None of my father or his family," he noted, sifting through the remaining pictures.

He read the letter then handed it to Esme.

"Basically, I was born when my Mother was a teenager and my father was unknown. She had no clue about raising me but insisted on leaving and living with her new boyfriend when I was about a year old. He didn't like me, and he physically beat me so my grandparents tried to gain custody. They failed. My grandfather kidnapped me when I was two years old and they couldn't sit back and see me mistreated any longer. They moved around a lot and hid me until she found them when I was six and I was returned to her custody. My grandfather went to prison for child abduction. I was taken from my Mother and her boyfriend by the state when I was six and a half, so I guess I only endured six months of maltreatment. I was made a ward of the court while in hospital recovering from multiple injuries, and then you came and rescued me."

"Edward, that's horrible," Bella said, taking his hand and holding it against her cheek.

"I never did anything. I never hurt anyone," he said with a smile. "I guess the boyfriend just killed off my self esteem and made me feel like I was unworthy to live. He died in a prison fight, my mother died of an overdose. My grandfather died soon after he was released but my grandmother wanted me to know, they didn't have any regrets other than not being able to keep me safe and away from those two monsters permanently. So, she's also dead now. But I have my family here and I have never known anything but love and acceptance no matter how horrid I was to you all. I remember you coming into my room at night and trying to calm me when I had the nightmares," he said to Esme. "I remember you crying when Dad had to sedate me to make me stop screaming. I still don't remember what those nightmares were about."

"I hope you never do," Carlisle said."You need to remember, you came from good people. They did what was right, morally, whatever the law may have ruled. You should be proud of your grandfather. Your mother was clearly too weak to protect you and the man who did beat you was not your biological father, Edward,so you don't have his genes."

"My grandmother taught me to play the piano. She gave me my first lesson when I was three. She says I was a natural."

Edward felt oddly relieved to learn his history. As sad and bad as some of it was, he couldn't help being glad he had been an innocent victim, nothing more.

As he'd read the letter, he had feared it may end with the news his grandmother quite understood why he had burned down the house with his Mother and her wonderful boyfriend inside.

But he hadn't done anything like that.

Maybe he was redeemable after all.


	8. Chapter 8

PennyLane123

2011-08-25 . chapter 7

I had to to back & check your age when I read this juvenile dribble here. I'm gone from this-it needs a K+ rating if it even passes as a story.

**See, this nice lady thinks I'm young enough to fancy RPatz, why aren't you all as sweet as she is? (God, WHO would bother trashing an Aussie, my own mother insults me better.)**

**The Death Of Edward Cullen**

**Chapter 8**

Edward shifted in his chair uncomfortably and felt Charlie's eyes on him again. The idea of bringing Emmett with him to report what everybody seemed to consider a real crime that needed addressing was embarrassing enough but to his surprise and relief, Charlie was taking the whole thing seriously, recording the interview and making notes.

"And you have never indicated in any way to these two girls that this type of ...activity...would be to your liking?"

"No, never, I have been invited into their den to partake before and always answered in a way that made it plain that's not my thing. I don't participate in random sex, never have and never will."

"And Rosalie Hale is willing to back you up?" he checked.

"Rose has agreed to do the right thing," Emmett interjected.

"Interview suspended at 5.09pm."

"Edward, does Bella know about this?" Charlie asked, leaning forward, having stopped the tape.

"Yes, she isn't happy but she wanted me to report it so here I am."

"You did the right thing. If we get any report and the boy in question isn't as lucky as you, now we will take him seriously, and that's the worst thing about males being raped by females. Nobody takes it to heart. It can be just as devastating."

"I'm a ...God, how embarrassing. I've never had sex, so naturally this would have been horrific for me, especially with my background," Edward admitted.

The Chief raised an eyebrow in surprise. He had imagined Edward and Bella would have taken advantage of the current situation and used it as their excuse to sleep together immediately. He was sure most would have and he suspected even he would have, too.

"Any new memories surfaced?" Charlie asked, leaning back.

Edward laughed quietly. "I got a letter from my maternal grandmother and it answers some questions but no, nothing really has surfaced. I do know my stepfather beat me regularly when I was a toddler and as a six year old, when my mother regained custody. And I know I was kept in a dog crate but somehow, it's not a scary memory."

Charlie choked at the idea and turned his face away from the man."I'll get this typed up and printed out and get you both to come back and sign the statements. If you truly don't want to lay charges, then I guess I will just keep these on file. But if you change your mind..."

"I don't know that I could go to court and have to defend myself. Legend has it, it's always up to the victim to defend themselves and prove they didn't ask for it," Edward replied.

Charlie stood and offered his hand to Emmett then Edward, and he put his other hand over their two joined hands. "Thanks Edward. You are doing the right thing, reporting them. I know it can't be easy for you. Keep looking after my girl, now, won't you?"

"You bet, Chief," Edward replied, walking out to the front desk where Bella sat with Jasper, playing some game on his iPhone.

"Okay, Dad?" Bella asked as Edward walked up and put his arms around her.

"Okay, Bells. Now behave and take care, this is just an example of how quickly and easily an attack could happen. I want you to promise me you will never agree to meet Edward or anyone else based on a text message. And don't go wandering anywhere alone."

"Like I will ever have the opportunity," she smiled. Three bodyguards now, it was not like she even got to slip to the girl's bathroom alone. If Alice was available, she didn't even get to go inside the girlsroom unaccompanied.

"Well, let's go home. Mom will be cooking dinner and we have homework," Emmett reminded them.

Edward was just happy to have Bella alone in their bedroom again and he traced his finger across her back as she tried to study.

"Hey, you may have a golden ticket to whatever college you choose, but I will be lucky to get into SeattleU on a scholarship," she reminded him.

Edward froze.

"You have to come to NYU. I can't go alone, without you and you can't be left unprotected. We are all going to New York, Bella. Even Alice. You have to come."

"I don't think I am even in the running to score a scholarship there. It's a lot harder than a smaller, more out of the way University. I will still have hundreds of students around me, it's not like I will ever be alone. I'll even have to share a dorm."

"No, Bella. I will pay for you to come. You don't have to worry about money. I have more than I can ever use and we have the apartment."

"Edward, be serious. We are not married. You are not responsible for my finances. I will go wherever I get in and get a part time job. I'm not tying you down at eighteen, don't be ridiculous."

"You won't come with me?" he cried out in alarm.

"I can't. Be sensible, we can still keep in touch. There's Skype and emails and we have cell phones. And we have parents who live in the same place, we will both be home to visit in breaks."

"Bella, marry me please."

"Nope. You don't know what you are saying. I'm not getting married straight out of High School. Young marriages don't work."

"Your parents marriage didn't work. You can't use that as a base to judge."

"Okay, let's look up the statistics." She reached for her laptop and Edward closed it.

"The only marriage that counts is ours. I don't care if only one per cent make it, we will be among that one per cent."

Bella shrugged. "Not happening. I'm sorry, but the truth is, I don't want to be married at eighteen. Be fair. We have no idea how we will feel about one another in five years time, let alone ten years or fifty years."

"Nobody does. That's why, when you meet your soul mate, you keep them and make them your own. Forever. If you can't make it with them, then what hope is there?"

"You really believe we are soul mates?" she asked with a smile.

"I know we are. And I'm going wherever you are going, so just tell me where I should apply."

"You are a crazy person. You have an apartment in New York. YOU have to go there."

"Then YOU have to come with me."

"Dinner's ready,"Esme said, standing at the doorway.

"Mom, Bella won't let me pay for her to go to NYU. Tell her she has to," Edward pleaded, sounding like a child again.

Esme quirked an eyebrow. "Bella has mail, a letter arrived today and it appears to be from NYU."

"That's the first time I've been rejected before I even applied," she grumbled and followed Esme downstairs.

Esme handed her the envelope and Edward stood in front of her and waited for her to open it.

"They are probably warning me not to waste their time applying," she said as she ripped open the envelope.

"The Anne Platt Everson Trust would like to inform you, Isabella Marie Swan, that you are to be the first beneficiary of the trust's scholarship fund. All fees and books and costs of attending New York University for five years or less will be covered, however you will need to arrange accommodation. The cost of this can also be claimed and we look forward to your letter of acceptance being returned to us at your earliest convenience."

Bella raised an eyebrow.

"But I didn't apply."

"That's quite usual," Carlisle replied. "People chosen to receive free tuition from a private trust are selected, not chosen from applications. Clearly something you have submitted in the course of your Senior Year work has attracted this."

"Your painting of that ancient mythological family that ruled the world from Italy won the school prize for Best Artwork, I bet it was that," Jasper suggested.

"Nope, it would have been her essay on Ancient History of Italy," Emmett replied. "Even I thought that rocked and I hate that sort of shit."

"Do you think this is someone's idea of a joke?" Bella asked Carlisle. He took the letter and read it and compared it to Edward's letter of acceptance.

"It looks genuine, I can make some calls and check," he offered.

"Tomorrow, we have diner to eat," Esme announced and they all sat down at the table.

Jasper's cell buzzed and he picked it up and grinned.

"Jasper, please, at least eat with us before you rush to Alice's."

"She needs me, she can be very impatient," Jasper laughed.

Carlisle took the cell phone and sent a text reply.

_Jasper will be happy to join you once he has eaten dinner with his family._

He turned the phone off and proceeded to carve the meat dish.

After dinner, Bella and Edward returned to their room to study and Jasper left. Emmett had eaten faster and already gone so Carlisle enjoyed an evening with just his wife for a change.

"We have to get used to this. Next year all the chicks will have fled the nest and we will be down to just us again."

"Maybe one of them will have a baby and need us to move to New York and help out," Esme answered wistfully. Never having a child of their own still caused her sadness. She was barely thirty eight, that just seemed too young to have all the children grown and gone. They should have kept applying for more kids to foster or adopt. Maybe Carlisle would be willing to let her look into it. As much as she enjoyed working, her basic need to mother was the strongest emotion she had ever felt, and it seemed to be unwilling to let up now the house would be empty of teenagers.

Would her husband even consider them fostering again, knowing now there was the risk they could be taking on another badly damaged child like Edward had been? And at their ages there was no chance they would get a baby. That was her dream, to raise a child from early babyhood.

A baby nobody had already damaged and influenced.

X~x~X

Edward moaned quietly and Bella stroked his bow until he relaxed again, and she rolled over and slept again.

The images in his head were vivid, and clear and he knew on some level they were real. A youngish woman with tired eyes, with purple lines under them, was arguing loudly with a faceless man who pushed her down.

Edward knew from the view he had of her that he must have been a small child, and he cried out and the man kicked her. The cry alerted him to Edward's presence and the man stepped forward, towards him, his fist curled.

Edward ran and felt damp grass beneath his feet and he didn't stop until he reached the detached garage.

It was too filled with junk to be used as a place to put any car and he crawled inside, along the floor, until he came to a dog crate containing a large and hairy dog. The dog licked his face as he crawled inside the crate and pulled the gate shut again behind him. Edward curled his body around the dog, hiding in the back so to a person looking in, there was nothing inside but the crossbred mutt. The top of the crate was half covered with an old blanket.

"Where are you, you little bastard?" he heard the man scream and Edward shook and shivered but although the man threw things around in his search, he ignored the dog's cage. The dog gently licked at the top of the boy's head and Edward calmed and lay still.

Finally the man gave up and swearing loudly, announced he was off to the pub and the child stayed where he was, as the darkness fell. It was nice here, in the dark with the dog. Safe.

Edward sat up in a sweat as he heard footsteps.

"Hey, did I wake you?" Bella asked, sliding back into bed. "Sorry, clearly I drank little too much lemonade with dinner."

Edward put his arms around her and held her close. This was his present and she was his future and the past could no longer hurt him.

He started to kiss her desperately and Bella responded but kept one hand in his hair, rubbing her nails against his scalp and he calmed and kissed her more gently, more kindly.

"Okay now?" she asked and he nodded.

He had to stay in control, he couldn't take his fear and pain out on her, the one he loved.

The details of the dream were already gone and he couldn't remember anything now, just the feeling of lying against a warm body and feeling safer than he usually did.

"You will come with me to New York?" he asked her in the dark.

"Sure, if that scholarship is real," she replied.

"And if it's not?"

"You can loan me the money and I can pay you back sometime. Twenty years from now."

"Thank you, Bella," he murmured and fell asleep wrapped around her.

Morning broke bright and sunny and Edward forgot about the dream and walked downstairs while Bella was still doing whatever girls do in the bathroom that takes forever. Jasper was home, eating cereal and reading the morning newspaper.

"I think we have to get our own breakfast, Esme is unwell. Upset. Carlisle says it's empty nest syndrome."

"We haven't even graduated yet. Shouldn't she wait until we actually leave home?" Edward asked.

"Can you imagine the change in her life? From having three teenage boys to control, to just her and Carlisle?"

"Yeah, especially when one of those boys nearly gave her a nervous breakdown on a regular basis. She has to be better off with me gone, though."

"Yes, but you are her favorite, she will miss you the most," Emmett chimed in as he poured two coffees.

"How could I be? I was her worst nightmare," Edward argued.

"Naw, she always wanted to be needed and you needed her the most," their father said, walking in to get himself coffee."She loves you all but your brothers have been independent for a few years, really. You were the one who never changed. And now you have and she feels her role is over."

"Don't listen if she begs you to make her a grandmother," Carlisle added.

"Huh, I could do that," Emmett laughed. Rose was upstairs in his bed still.

"You need to concentrate on your studies and last the distance at college. Esme can look into fostering, I won't object if she wants to start over. Having a child in the house affects her career a lot more than mine. I think she is sick and tired of decorating houses. The staff can easily run the shop without her these days."

X~x~X

Word spread quickly through the small town that the Cullens' were looking to foster again and most of the townsfolk thought it would be a waste if they didn't. They were both young enough to have a child of their own, so them taking on more children was not an issue though a few shook their heads and wondered what they could be thinking, after the close shave they had experienced with the copperhaired Edward.

It was the night of Bella's birthday party that things came to a head.

Bella had protested that she didn't want a party and Edward hadn't had a party but as luck would have it, Jasper's birthday occurred just three days before Bella's and Emmett's two days after it, so there was no question.

The Cullen's were throwing a combined Happy 18th for their three sons and their guest, Bella.

Alice took over organizing, as Esme was still feeling down at imminent loss of her children to far away New York, and even the party made it all the more close and real.

School had only a matter of days to go, Graduation loomed and then off they would go, away traveling and having fun with their friends before they settled into their apartments in New York City. They would all begin shiny new lives and she would mourn their leaving.

Alice has chosen the caterers and was now ordering the serving staff around, as the chef rolled his eyes and told them to do as she said. Even he knew after knowing her a mere hour, that he would fare best by just going along with her way of organizing.

He grumbled under his breath about psycho party planners and got on with the final touches to the buffets.

Emmett was organizing the 'punch', and making sure nobody spiked it and upset his mother. He had ample supplies of whatever the non punch drinkers preferred, hidden away until the party got underway.

Rose was making herself beautiful, which took longer than he expected considering he considered her the most gorgeous creature on Earth. He rolled a few 'special cigarettes' in case the party slumped at any point and hid them downstairs in the laundry room.

Edward was playing piano, he had some tune in his head and had to exorcise it out, and Bella was alternately being bossed around by Alice or hiding at Edward's side, listening in awe to the music he managed to produce.

Carlisle suggested to his wife they might enjoy the party more themselves from, say, the best restaurant in Port Angeles, and Charlie was buzzing about, checking security and warning the kids constantly that this would be an ideal opportunity for James to show himself. He would be parked in a next door neighbor's garage, in the cruiser with his best two men, waiting for any signal indicating the boy had turned up.

Rose drifted downstairs and stood around decorously and offered to do 'something' to Bella's long hair that lay freely around her shoulders and tumbled down her back.

"Nope, leave her hair alone," Edward warned the girl. He loved it as it was, and he wanted that hair spread across his pillow tonight. He felt no compulsion to make love for real tonight, if it happened, fine but they didn't have a deadline. They would be living together in New York soon enough and it would happen in it's own time.

Bella had reminded him tonight was the night they originally agreed on and he kissed her and assured her he would never make her stick to a schedule. She would be tired and emotional by the time the party ended and he had no intention of taking her upstairs while any guests were still here.

"Hey, love, it will happen soon, just not tonight probably," he said as she leaned across to kiss him.

Guests were arriving thick and fast and Rose was the welcoming committee which meant the people she liked were greeted enthusiastically and the others ignored.

Just about the entire Senior class would be here, excepting James, Tanya and Lauren of course.

Even Rose would call out if any of the three unwelcome students showed. Charlie had given them all instructions to contact him immediately if James showed, and to keep him here, whether by sweet talk or a fist in the face from Emmett, he had no preference.

Esme was wavering, maybe they should just leave and let the youngsters enjoy themselves. She knew the boys would never let anything happen and the house was safe, with Alice in charge.

She and Carlisle left and she looked back and wondered when they would ever get to host another bash like this? Maybe when one of the boys got engaged? That could be years yet and she knew that would be a good thing if they waited and didn't rush to marry their first girlfriends but somehow she knew already the pairs were permanent anyway.

She tried to relax in her husband's company and enjoy some just them, adult time but she admitted to herself, she was glad when sufficient hours had passed and they headed home after dining and dancing the night away.

The house was still standing, Charlie was talking casually to her sons and nothing bad had happened. No James, no trouble at all.

Carlisle parked the car in the garage and Esme went inside to make a nice cup of tea to end the evening.

The last few guests left and Edward walked inside with his arm around Bella's shoulders.

The caterers had long gone and Alice was still flitting about, storing leftovers and Jasper was picking up the small amount of trash left lying around.

Edward sat down on the sofa and accepted a cup of tea as Bella went upstairs to use their bathroom.

Emmett was sleeping over at Rose's, so they said a quick goodnight, and Jasper pleaded exhaustion and went to bed.

"So, did Bella enjoy her party?" Carlisle asked.

A knock at the front door interrupted and Edward went to answer, to see who had forgotten what. He shifted from one foot to the other as he stood in front of the brown haired girl on the doorstep.

She seemed familiar but maybe it was just that she resembled Bella so much.

"Do I know you?" he asked, at last.

The girl looked up tearfully and opened her long coat, revealing a small sleeping baby in a pink blanket.

"You fathered her, you raise her," the girl replied and handed the infant to Edward.

He turned and faced his parents in shock.

"I don't know this girl," he denied in a panic.

"Of course you do. Bree, are you saying this is our son's baby?" Carlisle asked, walking to the door.

The girl nodded and tears spilt down her cheeks. "I can't keep it but someone said you and Esme wanted another kid to raise. So I thought she would be better off with you than given to strangers."

Edward stood still and allowed his mother to take the baby from his arms.

"I'm not the father. I'm a virgin, for God's sake," he yelled.

The girl cried even harder and Bella paused on the staircase, assessing the situation. This would explain a lot. Edward's insistence he remembered having sex with her. This girl was as like Bella as any sister could be.

Maybe he remembered being with her, being inside her body, and he just wished she had been Bella.

"I don't know her," Edward repeated as Bella slowly walked down the stairs.

"Edward, this is Bree Carstairs. You have known her for a while. She was on the same course you took last..."

Carlisle stopped talking. That course had gone for a mere three weeks and took place a little over nine months ago.

The baby started to stir and cry, sounding like a newborn kitten.

"I haven't named her and you can adopt her if you want. I can't keep her. I won't be back. I'm going to England, to live with my father. He has no idea. Mum and her new husband don't want a baby in their house and I don't want it. Just do whatever you have to and I will sign her over to you," Bree said desperately.

Bella approached Esme and the blanket fell from over the baby's head and a tiny face peered out.

From under a thick thatch of copper hair.


	9. Chapter 9

**I just realized I named two characters Bree, so will change Riley's sisters name. Glad nobody thought it was Bree Biers.**

How have Rob and Taylor dealt with middle-aged female fans. And have they been creeped out? "To be creeped out by it, you'd have to be creeped out by middle-aged women, which I'm not. Different strokes for different folks, I guess," Rob says. ""No complaints here," Taylor adds**!**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 9

Edward lay silently in bed and watched Bella undress. To say his world had just toppled would be an understatement. Bree was sleeping downstairs in a guest room, Esme had taken charge of the baby.

Bella showered and slipped into bed, naked as usual. He was encouraged by that, maybe he had not lost everything after all.

"Are you going to leave me?" he asked, rolling to face her in the moonlight from the floor to ceiling glass walls.

"Why would I leave you? This happened a long time ago and clearly you and Bree have no bond. Do you want me to step back?"

"God no," he replied and risked rolling his body around her, spooning her as he did every night.

"But Bella, I clearly slept with her, even if I don't remember."

"I'm sure Bree will tell us everything in the morning. The only reason I would hesitate to be with a man who had former partners would be my own insecurities. Wondering if he was comparing me and my performance in bed to them. Clearly that won't be a problem with us."

"I honestly don't even remember meeting her. I do have flashbacks about having sex, you know that, but it's always you with me, never her. I can't explain."

"Tell me now, while you have no pressure to do the right thing and say the right answer, do you want to raise the baby? Honestly."

"No," he replied. "I never knew it existed and I'm eighteen years old. I mean, if Bree and I were a couple, if we had been together all this time, then of course I would. But believe me, I had no idea this time bomb was ticking. I really thought I was gradually remembering the recent past but I can't remember where I met her. Clearly my parents know her."

Let's talk about this in the morning," Bella suggested, turning for her usual goodnight kiss.

"Edward, I love you, and this doesn't change anything about how I feel."

"Where's the line, Bella?" he asked. "I humiliated you, teased you, injured you, made you trust me then along comes my ex whatever and my child. Where's the line where you say,'that's it,no more'?"

"Clearly if you cheated on me, I would walk. I don't know what else. Violence? I wouldn't allow you to ever hurt me physically again, but that's about where I draw the line. I can't punish you for a past happening. You have to admit, the chances of us getting together were remote. I would not have turned down a date with a guy I liked because I wanted to be with you, back then. I never thought, 'no, I have to wait. One day Edward and I will be together.' Why would you? You were determined to never be with me."

"But I still can't imagine how this thing with Bree happened."

"I guess we will know more in the morning. Now sleep."

Edward lay watching Bella's face as she slept and wondered what he had ever done to deserve her. Absolutely nothing, as far as he could see.

It also worried him if he had been with Bree, could he have been with others? His brothers had been so sure he was virginal and they were wrong. Maybe he did this, maybe he hooked up with girls and he had just forgotten them all. He worried far into the night and had barely slept when they awoke to the sounds of a screaming baby.

"Her lungs sound healthy," Bella mumbled as the happenings of last night hit her again. She was sleeping facing face down on her stomach and she rolled and kissed Edward lightly.

She knew, Edward being Edward, he had probably spent the night thinking of worse case scenarios and imagining he had a dozen daughters out there unknown, in the world.

"Come on, the sooner you talk to Bree, the sooner you know all," she suggested.

"I don't know if I can handle whatever she says," he replied, tearing at his hair.

"Stop it," Bella admonished and scratched her fingernails across his scalp and felt him calm.

Breakfast was interesting, with Jasper and Emmett both throwing surprised glances at the girl across the table, who had simply been introduced as Bree, a friend of Esme and Carlisle's, who was staying a few days until she sorted out her future. Neither boy was particularly interested in the baby, and Esme clearly had already bonded. Carlisle looked worried and just hoped this would work out for the best for everyone, but especially for his wife. To have a baby dangled in front of her like this...if Bree changed her mind or Edward wanted to raise it, he didn't want to even think of the consequences.

Jasper took off in search of Alice and Emmett took coffee upstairs for Rose, and the other five moved into Carlisle's study.

Bree sat nervously on the edge of a chair, glancing at Edward now and again, clearly puzzled he had no idea who she was. Bella and Edward sat together, on the small sofa, and Bella held his hand, her fingers intertwined with his and her other arm circled his waist. Edward was running his hands through his hair repeatedly and looking grim.

"Well, Bree, maybe the best thing would be for you to tell us all your story," Carlisle suggested.

"Okay, well, as you know, I was sent to the same anger management group course as Edward was. In Port Angeles," she added for Bella's sake. "Edward and I were in the same group. He was really angry because he had been accused of torching a teacher's car and he hadn't done it. His friend James had been angry at him for something. He decided to bring Edward back into line by setting the teacher's car on fire. Edward had been sent from that teacher's class for doing something to Bella's books and so, everyone assumed Edward lit the fire, as James hoped."

"Okay, let me fill in some gaps," Carlisle suggested."Mr Berty caught Edward defiling Bella's book of Shakespearean plays in class and sent him to detention. A common occurrence.

That night his car was torched and naturally, with Edward being the local pyromaniac and having been sent from class, everyone added up one and one and came up with three.

As there was no evidence, Charlie ruled it an unknown case of arson. Edward had no alibi, being alone upstairs and he has his own fire escape so he could come and go as he pleased. Unseen.

Mr Thomas suspended him for a month on the grounds he had been the most likely suspect. Edward was in a rage and denied all knowledge of the fire. He slammed the Principal's door closed so hard the glass panel shattered. This led to Mr Thomas suggesting it might be a good idea for Edward to voluntarily enter an anger management course.

I found one, a three week day course in Port Angeles, and Esme or I drove him there every morning for the three weeks and collected him of a late afternoon, while he was suspended from school anyway."

He nodded to Bree to continue.

"Edward and I were put together as partners and had to act out these role playing things, where one of us had done something bad to the other, then swap roles. He was really angry and said he had lit fires and burned things down but he didn't torch that car. I was angry because I had been accused of shop lifting. I hadn't meant to leave the store without paying. I was trying on clothes in the fitting rooms and got a phone call my Mom had been hurt in a car accident. I just rushed out, still in a pair of the jeans from the store. I got grabbed as I left the store, and even though I had left my purse and coat and my own jeans in the fitting room, they didn't believe it was a mistake.

So, even though Edward refused to talk to anyone else there, he did talk to me. We both felt the same, like we had been unfairly accused, and on the last day, we were supposed to attend the 'gaining closure' function and we left instead and spent the day in the town, walking around the shops. Edward's friend James turned up and told him he was sorry Edward got blamed and we went to some bar with him, and they knew the doorman and so we sat in a back room and the guys played cards and drank all kinds of drinks and I joined in. Then James left and Edward told me all about how he loved this girl named Bella and he could never be with her because he was probably going to end up in prison pretty soon, and he got all upset and I started kissing him and I guess it isn't true after all, that you can't get pregnant your first time, because I did.

I didn't realize for months. I was never regular and by the time I found out, I was five months along. So I figured I would just keep quiet. I denied knowing who the father was, I just said I met a guy at a bar and never asked his name, and my Mother and stepfather just said I could have the baby and give it away then go live with my real Dad in England.

Then I heard Dr Cullen and his wife wanted to foster or adopt and I thought maybe they would take her instead. I didn't want her but I didn't like her going to strangers, either. Then I thought maybe Edward should know in case he wanted her."

"How old is the baby?" Esme asked.

Carlisle looked at his wife. "She's five days old. I delivered her myself, but as Bree said, the birth certificate states father unknown. I actually thought of you, Esme, when I saw the baby's hair, not Edward, ironically."

"So, what happens now?" Bella asked.

"That depends on what Edward and Bree want to happen. Are you sure you don't want to keep her, Bree? We can support you both financially, give you a home here with us, whatever you need."

"No, I am about to turn nineteen and I have plans to have a life. I don't want to keep her or even visit. Maybe a photo now and then? But I won't even be back here so I have no plans to meet her or visit her in the future. Until she turns eighteen, then I will, if she wants that."

"Edward?"

"I want whatever is best for the baby and I don't believe me raising her is an option. I don't want to, and I will put my hand up and admit she is mine if that's what it takes to allow you and Esme to adopt her. I have no memory of that course at all, or of Bree, so yes, I am the father it seems.

I'm sorry I let you all down again, believe me, I let myself down most of all. I've spoilt things now, I wanted to be Bella's first and for her to be mine. Now that can't ever be," he ended sadly.

"I'm sorry too, Bella. I knew he loved you and I just...I guess we were both down and lonely and feeling persecuted and it just happened. Once, only once. And I don't remember a lot about it either. I remember the hangover better, to be honest."

"So we all agree the best solution is for the baby to be privately adopted by Esme and myself?" Carlisle checked.

"Yes, please," Bree replied, looking relieved, and anxious to leave.

"Thanks, Dad, for rescuing me yet again. I will try harder, I promise. I'm sorry this happened," Edward sighed.

"You are doing well son, don't let this put you back. You have made wonderful progress and you may never remember this event but on the bright side, you have fulfilled the dearest dream Esme and I ever had. Silver lining, Edward."

"She needs a name," Esme said and looked at Edward then Bree. "You can name her, I will keep whatever name you choose," she suggested.

Bree shook her head. "I'd rather not know."

Edward walked to his Mom and kissed her cheek. "She's your baby, Mom. You must have had a name in your heart all these years. You name her."

"Carlie," Esme and Carlisle said together, and Bella grinned.

"Carlie Esme Aime' Cullen," Carlisle stated proudly.

Jenks arrived and go the paperwork done and the baby was placed in Esme's custody until the adoption was finalized in court.

Jenks took Bree back to her Mom's in Port Angeles and the Cullen's sat and passed the baby around. Edward was nervous holding her because she was barely six pounds, but Bella lay her on her lap and smiled at the baby's little hands and feet.

Esme motioned for Carlisle to come out of the room and let Edward spend a little time alone with his biological daughter and Bella.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, sitting beside Bella and watching her eyes as she looked at the baby.

"I'm thinking you make beautiful babies and we will have one of these ourselves one day."

"I would like that," he answered, touching Bella's face. "You are incredible, you know that? I really expected you to leave me and refuse to come to New York."

"Then you really have no idea of how much I love you," she replied, kissing his hand. "This baby is not a mistake. She's a gift and a blessing and think of it this way, you just paid your parents back in full, for all their love and care and attention and endless patience. You gave them what they always wanted most in the world."

"I know this is the right decision. I want us to have babies, but I need you to be their mother," he replied.

"One day. And at least we know you are fertile," she grinned.

"So, we are okay?" he checked.

"Yes, Edward. We are okay."

A knock sounded at the front door and Edward opened it then blanched at the sight of the man standing before him. The man he had sworn he was a virgin to. The man he had told he would never have random sex. The man who had placed Bella into his hands.

"Charlie," he said, unable to say more.

Charlie walked inside and frowned at the sight before him.

"Bella?" he questioned. His face was a picture as he tried to cram the last few months into nine months and explain this baby.

"She looks like you. And Edward," he said, confused.

"She's Edward's niece. His bio brother just died in a car accident, with his wife. This is their daughter. Esme and Carlisle are adopting her. Dad, relax, it's not our baby, you know that isn't possible."

"No, I guess...not a lot of..um, virgins, have children," he stuttered. "I didn't know Edward had a brother."

"Her name is Carlie," Bella told him and he sat down beside his daughter and smiled at the infant, now he was assured it wasn't hers..theirs. As it couldn't be. Not yet. Not this fast.

Bella handed the tiny child to him and Charlie held it awkwardly then instinct took over and he cradled her in the crook of his arm.

"I remember you being this small. Bells, where did the years go? Now you are off to college and a proper grown up. And one day you will have a baby just like this one. Seriously, had you two disappeared for nine months I would have no doubt she was yours."

"Well, Edward and I are a little young for a baby. One day, Dad. And we have to do the whole..."

Charlie covered his ears.

"Too much information. I know where babies come from. And I hope you two know how to prevent them."

"We do. In the meanwhile, maybe Esme will let you visit. Why are you here, by the way?"

"Oh, James was spotted in Seattle. He managed to elude the police officer who recognized him but at least we know where he is."

"Or was, he could be anywhere already."

Esme came into the room and Charlie surrendered the infant to her.

"Congratulations. Let's hope she is an easier child to raise than her Uncle Edward."

"Hallelujah to that," Edward agreed.

"Well, we haven't raised a girl before, we may need to call on you for advice, Charlie," Esme suggested.

"Any time. She really is beautiful. Carlie. I like the name. And you and Carlisle will be amazing parents. Again."

"Thank you, Charlie," Carlisle said walking in to accept the Chief's handshake.

"So, one lot fly the nest and a new little chick arrives," Charlie chuckled. "I don't know that I could go through all that again," he admitted.

"That's because you are an old man, Dad," Bella laughed. "Come on, you could fall in love and have another family yourself."

"I think maybe I left it a bit late," Charlie mumbled. Sue's two teenagers were enough to remind him what these pretty little babies grew up into. He did think ,maybe one day, when Leah and Seth left home, maybe there could be something between him and Sue. She still visited, and he had been known to drop in and see her now and again. And he quite enjoyed playing ball with Seth though Leah was a moody surprise. Bella must be an exceptionally easy teen, he concluded.

"Well, see you all at Graduation," he said, walking to the door.

Bella walked him to the cruiser and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry, Dad. It will be a very long time before Edward and I present you with a grandbaby."

"Thanks, Bells, I will look forward to that. In a very long time. Yes siree. A very long time. Renee would kill you both if she was under fifty and made a granny anyway."

Bella walked inside and took Edward's hand.

"So, the story has begun, in no time the entire population of Forks will know this is Edward's niece."

"And probably fear for Mom and Dad raising another Masen," Edward added.

"Edward, you have been a Cullen for a long time now and so is she already. I'm confident she will be as amazing as you are, son."

"Sweetie, your problems were a result of your treatment as a toddler and small child. Carlie has been spared all that. She will be wonderful, and you are wonderful, too. Bella would never settle for less," Esme assured him.

"I'm just so very sorry you won't be my first," Edward sighed and rested his chin on top of Bella's head. "If I could change one thing, it would be that."

"I can settle for first in living memory," she grinned.

.**OK, I know this was uploaded early but you got ahead of me in reviews over the weekend so now I'm ahead again. Phew! Thanks for liking this little story. And supporting my fight against male oppression,lol. Cheers,Lynzi**


	10. Chapter 10

**My internet and lappie are being really unreliable so updates will appear when possible from now on. Keep reviewing though! Pretty please.**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 10

Edward narrowed his eyes and examined the tiny baby as she lay in the water and let Esme wash her.

"She is tiny, isn't she, but she will grow."

Edward help up the hospital photo of himself.

"I just don't look at her and see me. I know you might but to me, she just isn't like me at all. You have that hair, I have that hair, yet we are not related by blood."

"Only by love," Esme replied.

Carlisle walked forward as the baby was lifted out and dried and he quickly measured her length and head circumference.

"Seventeen inches long."

"But I was twenty two," Edward said, turning over his photo and checking the birth statistics.

"Twenty two inches long, nine pounds one ounce."

"She's a girl and Bree is small," Esme replied.

"Bree would be, what, five foot six? Bree is average, she isn't petite, like Bella. If this baby is the best Bree and I could do, how tiny will Bella's babies with me be? And look at her limbs, they are short if anything. Look at mine, I was all legs and arms."

"Probably just because she is a wonderful, teeny little Princess," Esme replied, dressing the baby quickly. "She's your child, not your clone."

"She doesn't even have my fingers," Edward said, looking at the infants short digits.

"Well, she has your hair," Carlisle said and patted his son on the back. "What's up, Edward? Was this too much of a shock? I am surprised myself, I met Bree and the others in your group and I actually thought you were rather rude to her. She must have a thick skin. Must be your good looks, you get the girrls no matter how abrupt you are with them."

"Was there a guy named Tracy there?" Edward asked, frowning.

"Yes, there was. Short guy, balding. Trashed up a kid's playground because his ex wouldn't let him see his kid."

"And a tall woman with blond hair? Fer...Fern? Nope, Fer..lise?"

"Close, Felicity. Well done, son. Keep this up and you will recall everything."

"Even the parts I don't want to," Edward sighed.

"Would you like to hold Carlie for a minute?' his mother asked. "Your father has to go to work and I have to say goodbye."

Edward reached out and accepted the tiny baby and looked at the little face half hidden inside the pink blanket.

"You are probably lucky not to have too many of my genes, maybe you will grow up to be a good person. I think you will, with Mom and Dad here guiding you. And me far away in college. That's a good thing, Carlie. It's too weird living here in the same house as you. I want to think of you as my little sister and I need space between us to do that. But I will come home in breaks and be a good big brother and I will set up a trust fund for you. You do not get to pay for my mistakes."

Edward carried her outside to wave to Carlisle and his father paused and frowned.

"Esme, bring her into the office this morning when you get a chance. I'm not happy with the yellow tinge to her skin, she might need some treatment for jaundice. It's not a big deal, she's just not as pink as I'd like by ten days post delivery."

"Okay, and maybe we can have lunch together, the three of us," Esme suggested."Could you be a love and hold her a little longer, while I shower and get dressed?"

Edward walked around the yard, showing his sister the plants and the summerhouse and the stream down the end.

"I wonder how they will fence this off to keep you safe? Possibly fencing just an area around the house would be easier but if you are anything like me, you will be scaling fences as soon as you can walk. I do remember always being in trouble for...shit. I remember something. I remember being a little kid, Carlie. I never have before. We had a dog and it had this cage in the shed and I think I used to sleep in there with the dog."

He shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't think it was a bad thing. I don't think the door was locked. I think I liked being in there."

The baby yawned and Edward marveled at the size of her little mouth.

"I forget a lot of things and I'm sorry I can't remember your bio mom but I don't think it would have been a pretty story that we could ever tell you. It must have been just a drunken grope that got out of hand. I'm ashamed of myself, Carlie, I didn't think I did stuff like that. But, I guess, you are here and Esme is blissed out so it wasn't all terrible. I just hope my Bella doesn't dwell on the fact I was with Bree, because truly, I have never wanted to be with anyone else but her. I knew I loved Bella from when I was just a whiny kid. She was always amazing. She is even more incredible now."

"Thank you, Edward," Bella replied, walking up behind him. "Are you teaching her how to attract boys because I think Carlisle will probably borrow one of Charlie's guns as soon as Carlie turns ten. You won't be boy crazy, will you, sweet baby? But let me tell you one thing, it is true that you will know The One for you as soon as you meet him. I always knew your brother was my one."

Edward handed the baby to Bella and stood at her side, wishing this child was theirs, his and hers. He could cope with such an early introduction into fatherhood if the baby had been theirs. He would want to raise it and make a little family of his own, were this little girl Bella's.

Maybe he wouldn't be able to study and become a doctor but he would have gotten a job and bought them a house and encouraged Bella to go to college while he played househusband and raised their daughter.

"I'm so glad Carlisle and Esme want her, I would not know what to do if I had to raise her alone."

"You wouldn't be alone, I would help," Bella replied.

Edward just smiled and shook his head.

Could he love her any more than he already did? It wasn't possible. The smile fell from his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I just, I love you so much and yet I look at this baby and feel nothing. And I always knew I loved you. Always. I fought it but the feelings were there. Unwelcome at first, hard to cope with, for a long time. I wished I didn't love you for years. But the fact is, I always knew I loved you. I hate myself, but Carlie just doesn't feel like she is anything to me at all. I'm sure she will grow on me and I'll be able to accept her as my sister but I feel really bad that I don't wish I wanted to keep her myself. What sort of man doesn't want to keep his own child, no matter who the mother is? I'm just...unnatural, Bella."

"No, you are eighteen and have known about this baby for five days. Give yourself time. You will come to love her as she grows and is part of this family. You will love her, Edward, I promise."

"God, I hope you are right, my Bella. I hope I have what it takes to feel something for her."

X~x~X

"Did they buy it?" James demanded.

"Yes, they didn't even do a DNA test, they all assumed it was his. But I don't get why you are doing this. His parents are raising the baby, Edward didn't get dumped with it."

"Doesn't matter. How would you react if your boyfriend suddenly produced a baby from a liaison he 'forgot' happened?"

"I don't think she cared. Truly, she didn't look outraged or shocked or indignant."

"Ah, but she is a female and it will eat at her. And at the very least, she will start to wonder how many other girls he fucked and conveniently forgot. It will cause a rift between them and now she will believe anything else she hears. We need a plan where somehow she thinks he fucked around. A lot. Fucking virgin, you'd think she'd be more worried about that than who he had fucked. It's not normal."

"He really has forgotten me, you know," Bree said in wonder.

"Why do you care, there was not one civil word between you the whole course. He called you a whore."

"I was acting like a whore, what did you expect?"

"I expected him to be a real man and fuck you in that back room. For fuck's sake, the drugs, the alcohol, what does it take to make the fucker stick his dick inside a woman? Did you cry? Were you all sad he didn't recall your passionate little tryst?"

Bree shrugged. "I was nervous as Hell he would remember and know nothing happened. I never got to talk to him alone though. I thought of something. I was going to apologize to Bella and tell her he only did it because he didn't want his first sexual experience to be prison sex with some trucker with tattoos on his fingers."

"Ha, little faggot would probably enjoy being someone's bitch."

"James, you did check there was no cctv? If he sees us sitting there playing cards and me wrapping myself around him and trying to get him going, and failing, he will know it's not his kid. And he will know he is a virgin. Maybe he is gay, who gets to that age a virgin?"

"Just because you started at twelve, it doesn't mean everyone else did."

"I seem to recall you were also twelve," she snarked.

"Fine, but he was still playing in his sand lot at that age. What more can I do?" he howled.

James cursed, strumming his fingers impatiently on the top of the table he was sitting on.

"Speaking for myself, I would never get over a guy having sex with another guy," she stated.

"Fuck, no, the only guy he was around all those years was me and I'm not pretending to be a shirt lifter for anyone."

"Then all you have left is some kind of set up with Tanya or Lauren. Or Tanya AND Lauren. They both hate him so much now I bet they would fuck him just so Bitch Bella could catch them all in a threesome."

"It's kind of been done. But it can be Plan B. Get Tanya's order ready, I have to keep bitches sweet," he said, sliding down and walking away.

What the fuck would force Swan to completely reject Cullen and leave him crying in his beer?

Fucking bastard had to be the one who put those guns in his locker. Nobody else knew the combination and what a coincidence his locker, which had never contained anything more than books, had been the one chosen for a random inspection by Swan's own father. James was mainly outraged that anyone would think he was that stupid. He had never even stored anything as harmless as weed, in that locker. As if he would store his shooters there.

Tanya and Lauren had both seen Cullen smile when the guns were being 'discovered'.

Two can play at that game. He would ruin the life of this reformed little douche before anybody slapped cuffs around these wrists.

"I never trusted him, you know," he told Bree. "Never. Even at his worst, he just never would go along with my plans. They were always 'one step too far'. I'll give him one step too fucking far."

"So, what's my reward?" Bree asked, coming to stand beside James and unzipping his fly.

"For what?" James asked, loosening his pants and lowering them further,out of the way.

"For giving up my sweet little baby, of course," Bree replied.

"That would be the kid you planned to sell?" James answered harshly.

"Fuck you, I would have gotten good money for her. I bet prices are better now than when we sold our baby and _you_ used all of that money setting yourself up as a dealer.I get the money this time. I want at least the amount I could have gotten on the black market. I'm sure she would have made me rich."

"There's more to life than money. There's revenge."

"Well, I'm going to give you a 'fail' anyway for Plan A. They didn't do a paternity test, James. I can always go back and tell them I was mistaken and it was Elliot I fucked."

"Elliot won't even remember fucking you, he fucked just about every girl in Forks High as well as Port Angeles High before that. I like the fucker. Getting expelled for fucking the Port Angeles Principal's wife, in the man's own fucking office? Golden."

"Sounds like something you would do."

"How very fortuitous he looks so much like Cullen. Even Jasper thought he was Cullen, once. The day she fell off the bleachers."

"I wish I had been there to see that. Port Angeles High sucked balls."

"We are not getting into a discussion about your hobbies. Now, think of the next plan. I can't get close to Bitch Bella, they are always there. I don't imagine she would want to befriend you, after you 'fucked' her Edward and all."

"I would have if he'd been even slightly keen," she replied and James slapped her face which was sitting there level with his groin. " You failed, Bree. You couldn't even get a guy full of drugs and alcohol to fuck you. From now on, you fuck who I tell you, when I tell you to. And nobody else. Now do what you should be doing and shut the fuck up," he ordered, pushing into her mouth.

He scowled at the lack of reaction from Bella over 'Edward's baby'. Bitch wasn't normal.

How to get back at Edward? His fucking brother's were too close and Emmett would easily kill James with one hand tied behind his back.

Fucking annoying his brother was 6 foot 6 inches tall, and not some little shortass, like what's her name. Alice.

Alice.

"Alice," he screamed as he released down Bree's throat.

X~x~X

Carlisle carefully read the test results again. It couldn't be right. Where had he gone wrong?

If Carlie's jaundice was a result of prematurity as the tests indicated, then the dates were all wrong. Edward had not been back to Port Angeles. God knows Carlisle had kept a watch on every move the boy had ever made and the tracker in his car had recorded every trip he took.

And he had been back in school every day once that suspension was finished with and home straight afterwards. Every single day. There was just no time for him to have seen Bree again, unnoticed. One brother or another had always been with him,every minute, every night, every day. God knows Emmett whined about the limited time he got to be with his girls when it was his turn. Even when Edward did the fires, one or both boys had been there with him. Of course, Carlisle would never admit that. How they just went along with them and thought what their brother was doing was justified...

He walked to the filing cabinet and pulled out his son's files.

That drug test the week Edward was in Port Angeles for the course. It was the only test ever to show drug use. Edward had never taken drugs before, or since, that week. Emmett smoked weed freely, but Edward refused after his first try, finding he hated being out of control. Did it merely indicate he took advantage of being out of their constant surveillance those three weeks, or did it mean someone took advantage of the boy? But how did this all fit with Carlie being conceived at least three weeks later than Bree had said?

He would have to do the right thing and do a paternity test after all. And risk the real father trying to claim his child back from them, if he hadn't agreed to the adoption.

Goddam it, please let this be a medical miracle and let the child be Edward's. Let her just have a slow to mature liver that somehow didn't develop at the rate it should have. Let there be another explanation for the numbers printed on the paper in front of him. Any paediatrician would look at this and say "Baby is premature. The liver will most likely fix itself within days. Baby may need some bili lights, but she will start to conjugate in time."

If she had been born to an 'older mother', in her late thirties or early forties, it would be an alternative explanation but Carlisle delivered this baby himself. To a girl not yet nineteen.

Maternity was not an issue, only paternity.

He pulled Bree's file and raised his eyebrows. He had ticked the box for 'multigravida" meaning she already had at least one child before Carlie, on the day she gave birth.

That meant she had lied about Edward being her first lover.

Why?

Well, he had every detail of Edward's bloodwork for the last ten years, so he had to submit Carlie's sample and see what the experts said. Was Edward really the father? The copper hair was such a red flag, so to speak but there was that other student at Forks High. Elliot Downer.

The boy who was regularly in for STD screenings. He had that hair too.

NO, let it be Edward.

Carlisle realized how selfish that sounded but Esme would never survive losing custody of Carlie.

"So how are the tests?" his wife asked as she walked into the room, baby in her arms as always.

"She may need some time sunbathing, we could go do that now. It's very minor, her liver will kick in within days, but it won't hurt to try and kick start it, Darling."

He kissed the top of his wife's head and looked into her eyes.

She was so happy.

Happier even than when they got each of the boys.

This little girl was all her own, and it would kill her to hand it back.

"I'll be right with you, take her to the Nursery and get Samantha to put her in the basket and start tanning."

He took three new forms and wrote in the names.

Edward would be Mason Smith.

Elliot Downer need never know he was part of this test. He would be N. Bodie.

And the baby in question was Siobhan Eleazer.

There would be a kerfuffle when no patients matched the names but he would destroy all the evidence and pay for the test himself.

He made out 'Siobhan's' patient card and listed her mother 'Kate's' home address as Alaska. Got caught out with a premature delivery before she could get home. It happened.

He dropped everything off and went to join his wife and daughter.

X~x~X

"These gowns are hideous," Alice moaned. "Couldn't we have some in another color? I mean, yellow? Who looks good in yellow? A nice soft blue would be flattering."

"Alice, we just have to get through Graduation and then we are free, think about that. The photos will be stuck in albums and forgotten, it's not like they are wedding photos people hang on walls forever," Jasper said with a grin. He could already imagine his Alice in her wedding dress, though it would be a long way down the road yet. But it would happen. He would make sure nobody ever turned her head and rivalled him in her heart because he knew she was his One.

"Charlie might hang my grad photo on the wall," Bella sighed. Her entire life hung on those walls in that little clapboard house. Every embarrassing stage of her life was documented in pictures for every visitor to see.

"Could you all hurry up and dress in those gowns and make your way into the Assembly Hall please," a teacher asked.

Alice sighed.

Yellow.

The color of jaundice, and butter and bananas and cheese and lemons.

"And here is Alice, in her disgusting yellow gown, looking like a jaundiced banana," she commented.

The mortar just made the whole look so much worse.

Of course, Rosalie looked gorgeous but she would look amazing in a hessian bag, Alice thought.

Emmett looked like an oversized pineapple, Edward just looked neat and studious and beautiful as always. Bella looked...better than I do, Alice groaned. Was she the one with the worst colored complexion for this atrocity? And it was so shapeless, she could be nine months pregnant under here and nobody would know.

Jasper, naturally, looked cool and his awesome self, and he was strumming his guitar as always. It was as if it was his security blanket, he just never went anywhere without it.

Well, at least there was dinner at the Cullen house to look forward to. Esme had got in caterers, seeing she was all baby busy now. And then Alice had what would probably be her last night at home, in her parents house. And they wouldn't even be there. Her gran had taken a fall and they had rushed to her bedside, in Seattle, but a promise was a promise. She had agreed to sleep at the family house for tonight, as some kind of ceremonial thing to mark the end of her life as a dependant and her emergence in adulthood.

But after tonight, I will never again sleep apart from Jasper, she swore.

"Come on, you are all about to Graduate, be on time at least," the teacher urged.

Alice looked down at her Manolo's, at least she had decent shoes on.

**Damian's story is apparently whipping my arse, PLEASE review, people! He says put on his profile he handed RPatz a cup of tea at the press junket. I replied I always thought he was more suited to domestic servitude than journalism.**


	11. Chapter 11

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 11

Graduation went well, and the students filed out and were grabbed into embraces by family and friends, all but Alice. Her parents had called and they just couldn't make it back but it didn't matter. Jasper was here, his arms around her, his lips on her throat.

"Stay with me tonight, Baby, we have to celebrate."

"I can't Jas, I promised Mom and Dad I would spend one last night in my bedroom before moving out. I'm coming to yours for dinner but then I have to head home. It's like a tradition and there are all sorts of gifts and things hidden around the house for me to find."

"I could have something hidden as well, for you to discover and make use of," he offered, biting down on her ear, just as he always did when he was...

Alice shivered in delighted memory and kissed his lips.

"I guess there's no rule about taking a friend home with me, so long as the parents don't know anything about it, right?"

"Right, Baby. No rule at all," he agreed.

"Jas, you need to stop doing that or I'm going to..."

"Rip my clothes off right here?" he suggested.

"No, but I may just moan really loudly and attract a lot of attention."

"Then I need for us to go somewhere more private," he suggested.

"Have you done the family photo and all that stuff yet?" she asked, knowing Esme would be insisting on a dozen photos at least.

"Alice, you are killing my mood, I have no interest at all in photos," he whispered in her ear.

"Well I have an interest in keeping what well may be my future mother-in-law happy so come on, everything else can wait," she insisted, shaking him off and breathing in deeply.

"Later, Jas, I promise it will be worth the wait."

"Can we do the special thing?" he asked, seeing she was in a position where he could push the envelope.

"Sure, maybe twice."

Jasper straightened and squared his shoulders. Twice? He would pose for a hundred photos for twice.

"Okay, come on, let's find the Mom with the biggest camera," he managed to squeak when he could speak again.  
>Twice.<p>

Esme had Edward and Bella, and Rose and Emmett, lined up looking 'natural' as they all looked about the room for Jasper and Alice.

"Finally," Emmett boomed. "I do have other duties to perform, after dinner but before the after party, let's do this."

Jasper joined his brothers and the girls and pulled Alice in close.

"God, I never want to see these photos, this outfit is beyond hideous," Alice moaned through her first smile as the camera began.

Carlisle stood to the side and clutched Carlie in his arms. Esme had dressed her in the pinkest, frilliest dress imaginable and she was attracting a lot of attention. As much as he enjoyed that, his mind kept drifting and he glanced at Elliott over by the far wall as the boy clowned around, pretending to kiss one of his male buddies as his Mom pleaded for just one decent shot of him acting as an adult.

The hair, Carlisle thought. That damned hair. When he had first met Esme he had assumed her hair color was unique, it was such a strange mix of reds and copper and dark gold along with brown. Then Edward had come along with the identical hair. Now Elliott was tossing his own similar overly long locks out of his eyes as he realized it was easiest to just behave and get this done.

The baby in Carlisle's arms had her own tresses covered in a white cotton and lace bonnet thank God, because it would have caused much speculation if it had been on show.

"Everyone say 'right'" Esme ordered and snapped a series of photos. Carlisle frowned in confusion as Jasper loudly said the word "Twice" instead but whatever, he was grinning like a fool and that was the look his mother wanted.

He watched the boys all hug and kiss their Mom before heading for their cars, with their girls in tow, and he held Carlie up closer to his face as his wife snapped off a few shots of them together.

God, please...just don't break her heart, not again.

Tonight would be a quiet night in for them, once the crowd finished dinner and headed out. They had a new baby and no desire to stand in the way of the teens partying like High School kids for the last time, at whatever parties they had chosen to attend. Charlie was waving still, watching Edward's car lights disappear down the road.

"They did really well, all of them," Carlisle said and the Chief turned.

"You know, I've looked forward to this day, knowing Bella would be rewarded for her hard work, and knowing she was going off to find her place in the world, but it never felt real until now. I'm starting to see why you and Esme wanted this little one. Another bite of the cherry, so to speak. It's been damned quiet around the house without Bella but I guess I have to get used to that. May I?"

Carlisle handed the infant over and watched Charlie as he clearly remembered his own baby girl eighteen years ago.

It goes by in a flash, truly, he knew. In eighteen years time, he wanted to be here, comforting Esme as their little afterthought left their house and went off to college. Hopefully her brothers would come to her graduation and bring all their own little children and Esme would still feel like she was needed and still had a place in their lives.

"It just seems like yesterday," Charlie murmured, echoing Carlisle's thoughts.

"Charlie, come back to the house and have dinner with us. I have a roast pork and lamb and a chicken, Emmett will be there after all, in cooking right now. Think of it as a meal to look back on and remember at the Cullen's house," she smiled. "So long as Carlie co-operates and goes off to sleep like the little lamb she is, we will manage to have a nice quiet evening afterwards."

"Esme, a little noise would be a nice change to be honest. I may pinch her just so I get to walk the floor with her for you."

X~x~X

Carlisle looked at the envelope and tapped it on his desk. He had known it would probably be here, waiting, when he came into work this morning. The facts were, they did need to know, for sure, one way or the other. It was cruel to let Edward keep thinking he had fathered the child if he hadn't, and there was always the chance the whole story Bree had related was simply lies from beginning to end.

She had lied about her virginal state before she supposedly had sex with Edward, as she clearly had given birth before. That fact may not have stayed in Carlisle's mind after the delivery but there was no reason it would have, at the time. She was just another patient, one he had only met briefly at the course and barely recognised, before she came in to the hospital in advanced labor.

He had not had any idea the baby he delivered from her could become his own daughter and now Esme was in very real danger of having her heart shredded if the paternity test did not show Edward was the one.

Edward and Bree were both so relieved and happy to sign over their parental rights, but another father was an unknown complication. Surely no boy about to enter college wanted to be tied down with a baby he had no idea he even fathered? No, he wouldn't, Carlisle assured himself.

Except...

What if his mother wanted the baby? What if his mother had no children of her own left to raise and the idea of being an empty nester was more than she could bear? What if she had all boys and wanted a girl?

Maybe he could just glimpse at Elliot's notes and see the family situation. Maybe he had a stack of siblings and the last thing his parents wanted was another mouth to feed.

Carlisle was expecting Elliot for his latest tests results, the standard STD screenings, later today anyway, he was perfectly justified looking up his chart.

Only child.

The words jumped off the page and Carlisle sighed and shut the folder.

Just do it.

He carefully inserted his finer into the seal of the envelope and slid the paper open, pausing in surprise when the edge cut a thin line into his skin.

"Papercut," he murmured, sucking the blood from his finger and fearing it was an omen.

He flicked the sheet inside open and lay it flat on his desk.

"Please God..."

He wasn't sure what to pray for. He really wanted Edward to be free but he most of all wanted Esme to be happy.

Only one line stood out on the letter.

N. Bodie is 99.7% most likely the father of the child in question.

Edward's chances were zero.

Carlie was Elliot's daughter.

Not knowing what to do next, Carlisle made his way to the doctor's lounge and poured a coffee and drank it down. Edward needed to know, but before he informed him, he had to know whether the baby would remain theirs. The Court took a very dim view of women who lied about the paternity of their children, especially if the baby was being relinquished for adoption without his full knowledge. At any point in time, Elliot could make a claim that he had not been informed of his offspring's arrival and then plead pain and suffering for not getting the chance to raise her and the whole adoption could be ruled null and void.

If he had no idea and Bree never informed him, then there was a chance it would be better to just live in hope he never found out but spending his entire life looking over his shoulder did not appeal at all to Carlisle. Bonding more with Carlie, having her become as much a member of the family as their boys, it would just get harder and harder as time passed to ever have to relinquish her again.

No, he had to inform the boy and hope for the best.

But he couldn't just sit here and wait until 4.30pm when Elliott was booked in.

Carlisle informed the receptionist he had a migraine and would need his patients covered and he was sure he would be back after lunch sometime, and left.

Esme was surprised to see him, and the house was full of noise and chaos.

"I need to drag myself to Port Angeles and get some clothes, I can't take this jeans and hoodie wardrobe with me, right?" Bella was asking.

"Bella, we are moving to New York. New York. They have clothing shops there. Good ones, way better than Post Angeles. You need maybe three changes of clothes, pre flight, during flight, after flight, then we will be hitting the stores."

"I have to change when I get on the plane and then again before we walk off?" she asked, amazed.

"Bella, truly, you know so little outside of your schoolbooks, it's just sad."

"Alice, pack it in, you can take my credit card and buy Bella everything you decide she needs when we get there but leave her alone until then. Life is not a fashion parade," Edward growled.

"Oh God, are they the perfect match or what? If I don't take a hand they will be wearing last seasons outfits and thinking that is acceptable," she cried. "You have to be very wary of Sales racks, Bella. More than one designer will hope you will buy outdated gear at a discount and it's not worth the heartache, I can assure you."

"Clothes can cause heartache?" Bella puzzled.

"Your shoes make me suicidal every time I look at them. They are sports shoes, Bella. Worn while doing sport. Not at any other time," Alice shuddered. Her family may not be rich like the Cullen's but her aunts took pity on her and sent her numerous parcels every season of the latest clothes and shoes, from where? New York. The only city worth living in. Alice had no plans to ever return here after college

She already knew her favorite aunt and Godmother would employ her as a designer as soon as she qualified, so in four years time, everyone better be ready to learn her name and have it on their lips when they talked about the latest and best in fashion.

Alice Brandon originals.

Start saving your dollars now.

Rosalie was wearing a red dress with a halter neck that exposed so much flesh Emmett kept forgetting he needed to eat before any other activities and he was leaning into her ear, begging her for just a few moments alone before his zipper exploded and revealed the state of affairs in his pants. Rose had her hand on his leg, just above his knee and was tracing circles up towards his thigh, making him want to cry.

"Rosie," he moaned and she immediately sealed her lips over his so as to not advertise the game she was playing. She couldn't help it, nothing ever sounded better than a man begging. She was used to it but to have Emmett doing it finally was like an extra achievement. She had never resisted him when he had offered to 'be with her' at school over the past two years but now she wanted to play the game with new rules, now she knew he could no longer shrug her off and turn to the next in line if she didn't immediately agree to every request.

She wasn't quite sure what had changed for him. They had enjoyed one another's bodies in the past and had no lingering desires to couple up, but suddenly she was the only one for him?

She couldn't lie to herself and say he was the only one for her, she had always thought Edward was amazingly beautiful though she would never admit that again, not now she belonged to Emmett.

"_I'd probably get very sick of Edward's new persona anyway," _she decided. Half the attraction had been the whole bad boy attitude, the fuck off and leave me alone, take me as I am, burning down cars and buildings...Yes, those days were clearly over and he was loved up with the most insignificant student in their whole grade.

To each his own.

If only she would attempt to make herself presentable. Her clothes were just not worth thinking about but her hair had potential and a bit of eye liner around those big brown eyes and she could look quite the vixen. If only she would let Rose do a makeover. Edward would be creaming his jeans as she walked downstairs.

Alice stood beside her and sighed. "We could do so much with her," she agreed, knowing Rose's thoughts exactly."I mean, she should have this one night to show Forks what they will be missing once she leaves. Mike Newton will kill himself when he sees what he never got to have."

"Half an hour, a hair straightener, my make up, the sky is the limit," Rose replied.

Alice straightened up. "Bella, I need you to decipher this algebra equation I never got sorted, come up into Jasper's room now please."

Rose smirked and excused herself to use the bathroom, ignoring the downstairs powder rooms and arriving before the other two girls.

"Right, strip, shower, and Alice, for God's sake, I'm sure you have a dozen dresses stashed here already, lend her one."

"A dozen, pfft, you don't know me at all," she replied, sliding open a side of Jasper's closet and revealing fifty outfits she owned. Some still bore tags but it had recently been her birthday and a girl took time to wear everything bought for her.

"What did you get off Charlie for your birthday?" she asked and Bella turned. "Oh, a digital camera. It's really nice."

"But you can't wear a camera," Alice explained patiently.

Bella shrugged and submitted herself to them, refusing to watch the torturous therapy as it was inflicted on her but when they were done, she glanced at her reflection and stilled in awe. Touching her face, she wondered if this could really be her.

"Girls, your reservations are for one o'clock, it's time you all left," called Esme and Alice hurriedly pulled her new blue frock over Bella's sensible underclothing. At least nobody could see those.

"Wait, I need to grab a spot where I can watch Edward's face," Rose said, hurrying out first. Bella walked carefully down the staircase, watching each step she took in case she fell and ended up a beautifully coiffured and made up mess at his feet.

Edward 's eyes were fixed on his girl as she made her way down to him and he wondered if he was breathing because she was a vision to take away any man's breath let alone control their thought process.

"Beautiful," he breathed out and held out an unsteady hand for her to take.

"Yep, just creamed his jeans," Rose whispered in Alice's ear and they both giggled.

Esme was so happy now she knew the nest was not going to be empty and Carlisle kept glancing at Bella and shaking his head in wonder. He knew for sure, had Edward really managed to leave Bella virginal until now, that would change tonight. No normal boyfriend could possibly resist her, she was just..amazing.

Renee had been the same, always downplaying her beauty then now and again she would dazzle everyone in town at some event with a new outfit and her hair done up and she'd paint her face and Charlie would feel so unworthy at her side. He'd said it was like walking beside a movie star.

The kids left and Carlisle sat down beside his wife and watched her feed Carlie a bottle of formula.

"I want us to go out in the garden for a bit, just enjoy the baby out in the fresh air, take some photos of her in front of the roses, that sort of thing."

Esme smiled. "You are not worried her baby album won't have enough photos, surely? I take about twenty every day. But I do have that little blue frock my sister sent her, with the daisies on it. I really want her to wear it a lot while it fits. It's so tiny. I will definitely buy her a baby doll and dress it in that dress once she outgrows it."

Carlisle felt like he was going crazy as Esme held her daughter up, laughing at the little face, eyes squinted against the sun. He snapped photo after photo, and his mood swung from positive and hopeful to despair. He had to tell her, but he needed to be able to add,, "Don't worry, Elliot signed the papers, she is still ours."

When the baby was asleep in her crib and Esme was asleep in their bed, having been surprised at her husband's amorous mood, Carlisle showered and redressed and headed back to work, calling Jenks and telling him to meet him there and bring the papers he had ordered just in case.

Elliot entered and sat down at the desk.

"So, all's well? No nasty surprises?" he asked, cocky and confident. He always used protection...well, when he was sober, that is. There had been a time or two in the past... But he had learned from those mistakes and always carried a dozen condoms and if he was too drunk to slip one on, he had refused whatever girl was offering him a quick visit to Paradise.

No one was fucking up his life.

"Elliot, a girl named Bree Carstairs? Does that name ring any bells?" the doctor asked.

"Oh fuck, what disease has she given me? That was like, ages ago. Surely by now she's been fucking other guys and maybe she got whatever 'nasty' from him? I've been tested twice since her and I..."

"She has no diseases but she did give birth to a baby. A little girl."

"Uh uh, not mine, no way," he blustered and Carlisle's heart raced in hope.

"So, should a paternity test prove you are the lucky donor, would you want to sign away your rights and responsibilities?" he questioned.

"My Mom can never know. God, she would kill me. Where do I sign? Can I sign now and have the test and never hear the results? You can just do whatever it takes to get this fixed?" he asked, reaching for his wallet.

"That's entirely unnecessary and probably illegal. Just listen to what Mr Jason Jenks has to tell you and sign this form admitting possible paternity and termination of all your rights to the baby and we never need mention anything to anyone."

Elliot nodded at every word Jenks said and grabbed the pen. His signature adorned every page and he stood anxiously.  
>"I can go? Bree can't ever make me take the kid or pay her anything?"<p>

"This form means the baby is no more yours than she is ...Jason's. She has an adoptive family who loves her, they just needed this one more piece of paper."

"Good. I won't be back, to Forks. I hope she is being adopted far away. I wouldn't want my Mom seeing some kid that looks like me."

"Your hair is your only distinctive trait," Carlisle reminded him. "And even my son Edward has hair like that."

"Cool, so anyone would have to consider it could be his kid instead?"

"Indeed," the doctor agreed.

He closed the door to his office and told the receptionist he was going home early. All other appointments had been shifted to the locum's list anyway. He'd only wanted to see one patient today, and it had gone even better than he had hoped. He bought a bottle of champagne on the way home, plus a dozen red roses and a box of Esme's favorite chocolates and a small pink teddybear for their daughter. It was a day to celebrate.

Esme quaked in fear when he started explaining about Elliot but she collapsed in relief at the end and they toasted their new daughter.

Jenks called to say it was a done deal, signed, sealed, delivered and sanctioned by the court already. Just one little detail had needed to be amended and now it was done.

It was nearing one o'clock in the morning when Carlisle heard the Volvo pull in, and he got out of bed and pulled on his robe, walking to the top of the stairs to intercept Edward.

Bella was whispering loudly and Carlisle almost blushed, it seemed they did have big plans for tonight.

"Edward," he said, making them both jump and Bella swayed a little in her heels.

"I have some news you might want to hear before you...go to bed."

"Seriously?" Edward laughed.

"Absolutely seriously. I believe this is something you two will both be pleased to hear."

They sat down on the seats on the second floor landing and Carlisle explained what he now knew.

"So, does this mean I never slept with Bree?" Edward asked. Images flicked through his mind and he grinned. "Don't even answer, I slapped her hand away from my...groin and left. I never touched her!"

Bella beamed and took his hand. "Then I guess you had better come and touch me and make that memory you imagine of us together a reality," she said boldly, winking at Carlisle.


	12. Chapter 12

**Annoying author's (lol) note first. Anyone who can stand reading threesomes, I wrote c1 of Son Of A Preacher Man on Et Tu Edward user. I'm of 2 minds. Leave it as is or make it and Ed/Bel only, and bring it home here? Or leave it there as it is and change it for here? Please read and review if you don't find 3somes offensive. It's only a one time thing as a way to get our kids together. I think I've written every other scenario!**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 12

"Come here, Virgin Cullen", Bella smirked. She hadn't realised how much she had grieved him apparently being with Bree until now she knew it wasn't true after all.

"I can remember every single day of that course. I never touched her, I never even kissed her. I barely even spoke to her. We didn't get on at all. She was pawing at me in that room but I felt really ill apart from anything else. James clearly drugged me, I was horrifically ill that night after we got home. But I don't care about any of that. I never slept with her or anyone else, and that's the important thing."

Edward was as high as a kite but it was a completely natural high, no drugs involved.

Everything in his life had turned around and was wonderful.

Bella was coming to NYU with him, his brothers and their girls would be close by, his parents would be starting again with a new baby to care for and life couldn't be better.

Well, maybe it could be a little better, the way his body was feeling now he really really wanted to feel even better.

Bella was a little nervous, he could tell. For all her bravado, the way she was looking at his erection told him she really did fear he was going to tear her in half.

"Baby, it will be fine. You were made to give birth to babies. You will handle one little penis inside you," he murmured in her ear.

"I'm sure I could, but nobody could call _that _a little penis," she replied. She wrapped her hand around it and stroked it and shook her head. No way was that ever going to fit.

Edward brushed her hand away and stood beside the bed, lifting her into his arms.

"You need to soak in this tub and just relax and let the warm water make you all calm and ready," he whispered, sitting down in the almost hot water and holding her on his lap.

The bathroom was dark and warm and steamy and the smell of the scented candles was adding to the atmosphere. It was romantic and beautiful and his girl eclipsed everything with her own beauty. The candles were the tiny spots of light in the room but she lit the spots of light in his soul. She was his candlelight, his stars, his very life.

He turned her so she straddled him and he kept his own legs apart so hers were splayed even wider. This was the best position, from the back for instance would be even tighter he had been told. It had embarrassed him a little to have to talk about this with Emmett and Jasper but he did need to know what he was doing and what not to try first time.

He lubed up two fingers and started kissing her neck, gently biting her earlobe and she melted against him as he eased his fingers inside her. She was used to this and her body allowed it easily, so he inserted a third and used his other hand to stroke her clit and get her excited. He was excited, just smelling her scent, or seeing her naked did it for him.

His erection was hard and ready and he lubed it up as well. Once she was relaxed and humming quietly as he got her close to her peak, he quickly removed his fingers and plunged up inside her, pulling her body down onto his and holding her close as he sat still and felt her hymen stretch and tear.

His heart pounded and his eyes watched hers, fearful this would be horrible for her but it had to be done to allow the good part to happen and the boys had assured him, better the quick band aid method.

"Oh,oh,oh," Bella fretted and he took her lips inside his own and kissed her until he felt her relax again once the quick tearing had happened and he'd sunk in a little deeper. He drew little circles around her nerve center and stroked across it now and then and she flinched but in a good way, an excited way.

Once she was gently rocking against his hand, he inched inside further and sighed with both happiness and relief as he was fully enclosed. It was tight, there was no doubt about that but he did fit, as he knew he would. He may be a little larger than average but he wasn't porn star sized by any means and he was truly glad about that. Bella would never have considered him if he had been. Or worse, she would have only wanted them to be friends and while he did feel friendly toward her, he was definitely always meant to be far more than that.

She pulled away from his mouth to breathe and he leaned in and caught a cherry red nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, and felt her rock a little on him. Clearly, the pain was subsiding and the pleasure was taking a hold. She tasted so sweet, and she was everything he had imagined or dreamed.

Or predicted. Maybe that image had been a preview of this night? A glimpse of their future?

"I'm inside you," he whispered in her ear and she smiled. "You are."

"Edward and Bella are no longer virgins," he added and kissed her lips again. He slid his hand around her thigh and across her backside and held her in close.

Bella had her arms around his shoulders but she moved one hand down and took his fingers from her clit and instead, pushed her body in closer and started rubbing her nerves against where his shaft joined his body.

"God, that feels amazing," she whispered and he agreed and slowly he started to withdraw a little then push back. It was a tight fit but she was relaxing more as she sought her own release and he gently took a hold of her hips and started moving her off and on him instead and it was easier.

Bella bent her legs so she was kneeling on the bench he sat on and took her own weight and started raising and lowering herself and Edward bit his own lip at the sensations she was causing to shoot through his body. It was almost too much.

They had been wrong, outercourse had never come close to feeling like this.

She arched her back and forced her breasts forwards towards his mouth and he obliged and sucked on one nipple then the other, feeling her react between her legs, right where his tip touched her deep inside.

"Ooooh," she breathed and started moving faster. She was completely into this, already and she hadn't looked down to see the dark swirl of red around them in the water as his body claimed hers. He gently mixed the water with one hand and made the blood dilute and fade in case she did see it and panic. He could feel the trickle inside her, covering him, making him part of her and he relished feeling that. It wouldn't happen again unless she agreed to do this during her period, he would have no objection if she didn't object either. It was only blood, Bella's blood, he wasn't afraid of a little blood. Not her blood.

He felt excited even further by this show of proof that he was her first. He knew medically not all virgins bled but somehow this showing just made the occasion more special and real and meaningful for him. She had given him her virginity. She would never be the same again and he had to honor and appreciate this gift forever.

Never cause her pain, never even look at another girl because he knew he now had the power to rip her heart out and destroy her and it was an awesome responsibility. If anything happened and they didn't last, she could never have this gift back to give to another man. Only him. Only he could be her first and he knew she truly must love him to do this.

He raised his hands to her face and cradled her jaw and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, more than anyone or anything in the universe. I truly do love you, my Bella."

She stopped rocking and sat completely still and smiled back at him.

"I love you more," she said and he nodded. He couldn't argue even though he knew the truth. He loved her the most, she couldn't possibly feel the love he felt for her as strongly for him. He was a mere man who had already done so much wrong, and made so many mistakes,whereas she had never done anything but forgive him and want him despite his misdeeds, and offer him her love.

He had been surprised when he overheard her and Alice talking that day and he had actually wished then that she didn't like him because it would have made the battle to keep her away easier but now he was so glad she never gave up and just hated him like the others had.

If only he had known.

If only the glimpses of the future had occurred back then so he would have been aware it was always pointless driving her away. They could have been together, building a friendship earlier, though in a weird way, they had always been doing that anyway. The 'thing' between them had always been there, binding them together.

He kissed her lips again and kept his eyes fixed on hers as she started moving again.

He liked this, it was soft and warm and gentle and tender and in time, they would no doubt want more, but for their first time, this was perfect.

He wanted more words, he needed to make her understand how much he knew how incredible her gift to him was, and that he would never hurt her in any way.

He would always be there at her side, protecting her, loving her, trying to be a better man for her.

"I can feel it, Edward. I can feel how much you do love me," she said, reading his face if not his mind.

He smiled and held her tighter and nuzzled her neck and kissed every inch his lips could reach of her pink, warm skin as she rocked his world and her own. Her breathing changed, and became less regular and more needy and she started to move both faster and harder against his body. The need for pleasure was winning, and he held her tightly and rocked inside her.

He gasped in amazement as he actually felt her come on him. He had felt her come on his fingers and his tongue before but he had never come close to imagining what it would be like to be inside her and feel this tightening and pulsing and it was unbelievably exciting. He kept rocking against her even as she stilled, keeping the current flowing between them, almost wanting to pass out from the pulsating rhythm around his length.

It started to ease and he let himself release and she gasped this time, as she felt him fill her with his seed.

"Edward, I can feel that, I can feel you coming inside me," she said excitedly in his ear and he gripped her tightly and thrust in deeper until he was done. Her words had made him come even harder and he hugged her in close and rested his head on her shoulder as she was doing to him.

"Now you truly are mine and I'm yours. You own me, forever," he promised. "You are my life now, Bella. Only you."

The water was starting to cool but it had done what he had needed it to.

Bella stood and groaned and he looked up quickly.

"What's wrong? What did I do to hurt you?"

She smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Nothing, Edward, my legs were a little numb from sitting that way. That's all."

He emptied the bath and joined her in a quick shower then dried them both and kissed her many times during the process.

When she shivered, he at first thought it was in desire then he felt her body cooling and lifted her and carried her to their bed, putting her inside the covers.

He lay with his body around her and held her as she stole some of his body heat for herself.

"You are so hot," she sighed, putting her feet on his leg and he laughed.

"Well, thank you, I think you are pretty hot yourself."

She spun around and faced him.

"We really did it. Finally. I feel different. I truly thought I couldn't love you more than I already did but I feel so connected to you now."

He stroked her face and kissed her briefly.

"I know what you mean. We really did need this final stage to really belong to each other. Who knew?"

Bella frowned and shook her head. "I don't understand how anyone could just do this for fun. With someone they didn't care about. I can't even imagine how it would be to let some stranger do this to me, or to do it with various partners with no bonding. I guess I'll never understand."

"I imagine that is the difference between having sex and making love. It must be vastly different to do it for the release and not for the connection. I pray neither of us ever have to find out. I meant what I said, I see this as a full life long commitment between us. We can take it as fast or slow as you decide but we will be getting married, Bella."

She snuggled down beside him and wondered how that idea had suddenly become the one thing she now longed for.

"I want to marry you. I think we will make it, Edward. I think we have that special, magical once in a lifetime connection that even death could not break."

He shivered at her words. A world without Bella was not a world he would ever want to be part of. If anything ever happened to her, he would be right behind, following wherever one went after this life. But he prayed that would not happen for a very long time yet.

He had his Bella and all was perfect.

He smiled, because he had thought all he needed was to make love to her tonight to feel complete but now he glanced at that empty ring finger and felt a desire to put a ring on it.

Suddenly it was so very important to show the world she was his.

He trusted her completely but some college guys often had little respect for whether or not a girl was spoken for and there was no way anyone would be unaware Bella was his and his alone.

He would be showing them all, every day in every way, she was already taken.

She lay in his embrace and he kissed the top of her head and knew this truly was what he wanted and needed and it was forever.

Thank God she felt the same because just as he could break her, she could easily shatter him with a few words or a single action.

X~x~x~X

Alice slammed her car door shut and looked around. She knew Jasper was close behind her in his own car but he was parking it a few houses down so it was not blatantly obvious that he was here with her.

Her neighbors were waiting, tossing streamers and popping those noisy little things one usually kept for parties and weddings, and she smiled and kissed her mother's closest friend, who opened her arms to her.

"Congratulations, Alice. Your parents are so proud of you and they really did wish they could come back and see you graduate but there was a little scare with your gran. She's fine now, don't worry. But they were afraid to leave her."

"It's okay, I had all my friends there. It was great, actually. And it is my last night here as a schoolgirl. I'm an adult now," she smiled happily.

"And your boyfriend was there, of course," Mrs Plant giggled.

"Of course," Alice smiled.

"I met him earlier, such a nice boy. I have never really gone for boys with ponytails but it looked good on him and with that body, ahem, who would notice the hair, right?" she giggled again.

Alice frowned.

Jasper had come by to collect her very important shoes for her but she had never seen him with a ponytail herself. His hair was long enough and was about to be sacrificed for the greater good, but a pony tail?

Really?

She would be teasing him tonight.

Maybe he would let her tie his curls up in piggytails like she had when she was small. She must find her camera and make sure it's charged because that would be adorable.

She was surprised Mrs Plant had thought his body the most captivating part of him. To Alice, it would always be his blue eyes. They were so pale yet stunning. So softly colored yet not wishy washy. It was hard to put it into words. They were not dark blue by any means, more the color of a pair of soft worn denim jeans but near the pupil, the color intensified to cornflower.

And his long thick to die for lashes just framed them perfectly.

Then there were his lips.

She licked her own just thinking about them. How many years now had she looked at those lips and imagined them on her own? Before puberty, that was when it began but boy did it intensify when her hormones kicked in. He went from being the pretty boy she crushed on, to the man she was determined to have in her bed.

And now she did, she had him.

She danced lightly on her toes and unlocked the front door, frowning when it opened as soon as she inserted the key.

"Now, as you know, your Mom and Dad have planted little gifts around the house just like they have always done on your birthdays, so I will leave you to it and take this mob off home but if you need us for anything, Alice, you come knocking. I imagine you want to spend this last night alone," she coughed, clearing her throat and winking.

"Oh sure, yes, alone. Don't be alarmed if you see anyone skulking about, he won't be breaking in, I'll be pulling him inside myself," she laughed.

The table held a vase of the most gorgeous flowers, and a stack of cards from friends and relatives.

Mrs Plant left and took her children and the other neighbors with her and Alice kicked off her shoes and rubbed her ankles.

She should do the treasure hunt, her Mom was bound to call and ask what gifts she had discovered.

She turned the lights on in each room as she searched in all the usual places. Oh, yes, Daddy had come through. The first gift was a gift certificate for $5,000 at her favorite shop in New York!

Alice would be the best dressed of them all.

She kissed the certificate and folded it into her purse straight away.

Oh how sweet, Mom had bought her a pretty little pink nightdress and a set of definitely adult lingerie in black silk. Jasper would be liking this.

She searched and found a dozen little packages and set everything out on the kitchen bench.

Jewellery was always a favorite and the diamond encrusted "A" on a gold chain was perfect.

The hair products would come in handy. The new panties in a variety of colors and styles were a little unnecessary, Jasper liked to feel just her when he slid a hand under her skirt.

But, she would wear them when the occasions demanded.

The final gift was a note from her Dad, telling her the money for a deposit on an apartment was in her savings account and he would be paying her rent each week. As she was moving in with Jasper,this now meant she would have a handy income.

Daddy would never know and Jasper had laughed at the idea of her sharing any costs. He had money of his own and Carlisle insisted they had to concentrate on studying, not worry about part time jobs and such to pay their way, so he was covering all expenses and he was delighted that Alice would be moving in with his son.

She still intended working at her aunts design business part time, that would be pleasure, not work.

She headed for her bedroom but her cell trilled and she answered.

"Mom! It's all amazing! Thank you so much. How's gran? An operation? A hip replacement? That sounds scary. No, I understand, you have to stay. I'll be flying out tomorrow anyway. Aunt carol wants me to get the feel of the business and uh, some of my friends are going to be living quite close to where I will live so we have things to do before the college year begins. Give Daddy my love and thank him too. And let me know about gran, I will be worrying. Thanks, Mom. Bye."

She snapped the phone shut as she opened her bedroom door and smiled at the lump under her covers.

"Jas, you naughty boy. I could have mistaken you for a burglar and beat you up with a baseball bat."

She saw the lump shake with laughter and stripped off, sliding into bed and reaching for her man.


	13. Chapter 13

**This is NOT good. Google Docs is already timing out because my holiday guests used up so much of my internet allowance, playing online games, now I can only update if I reuse docs already here at fanfic so the paragraphs etc will be wrong. PLEASE tell me if there are mistakes as I need to edit before clearing and reusing this doc again. Once it's gone I can't edit at all. And no spellcheck.**

** I can't just increase my limit, we are on the maximum allowed to our remote little village. If I stop updating my stories until the 22nd, it will be because I can't even access Fanfic, it does happen eventually each month. :(**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 13

Alice paused and frowned at the sound of her front door opening.

Eeek, she was about to get caught in bed, with her boyfriend, by God knows who. If it was just Mrs Plant it would be okay. Her eyes almost bugged out of her head when Jasper appeared, smiling broadly. Then who..?

Jasper moved without thinking, throwing his body at the man struggling with the blankets to sit up in Alice's bed, and the fact he was holding a rather large knife didn't compute. It was too late anyway, he was falling on top of this interloper even as his mind caught up. James!

James wavered, trying to both place the knife at Alice's throat and deflect Jasper but instead, their bodies clashed and the girl fell from the bed in her haste to escape. He could hear her screaming, it echoed again and again in his ears or maybe she was just screaming repeatedly. He felt winded and huffed as the smaller built man's body slammed into his and he tried to jab him with the knife.

Alice stood frozen, unable to process what she should do. The men sat front to front, almost like they were hugging one another, and she grabbed at Jasper and screamed again as he fell back and she saw the blood on his chest.

So much blood.

Her front door was slammed open against the wall as Mr Plant appeared, a rifle in his hands.

"Get out, Alice, I'll shoot them both," he growled.

"No, no, not Jasper. He's meant to be here. Shoot James," she screamed.

Mr Plant levelled his gun and stood back.

"Which one is James? Who am I shooting?" he growled, waving the gun between the two men.

"Jasper, I'm Jasper, shoot him," Jas choked and Alice rushed to his side. She pulled him from the bed, ripping off his bloody shirt, and searching for the wound. So much blood.

Mr Plant paused and frowned. The man in the bed didn't appear to need subduing at all, he was sitting there looking very surprised and shocked. He shook his head and glanced down at the knife.

Alice panicked, wiping the blood from Jasper's chest, probing and sliding her fingers in the red fluid.

"I can't find the cut, I can't see where he stabbed you," she shrieked and Jasper pulled her in close and hugged her. "He didn't stab me, Ali. I think maybe he stabbed himself."

Alice turned and stared at James, just as Jasper and Mr Plant were doing.

James looked up at them and grabbed at the knife protruding from his chest.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "No, I stab you. Or her. After I have fun sexy times with her. Not like this."

He slumped and the three watchers tore their eyes away and looked to one another for guidance.

Mr Plant lowered his rifle and scratched his head instead. "I guess we should call 911" he suggested.

Jasper pulled Alice onto his knee on the bedroom chair and pulled the old woollen crochet work rugs from the backrest over them both as Mr Plant took over. He phoned the police and, after second thoughts, an ambulance as well, then stood looking at the man in the bed.

"I don't know if I should pull the knife out of him? Or do you leave it in? Never completed that First Aid course, it seemed kind of a waste of time back then. If I pull it out, he might bleed to death or will he die if I leave it in? Alice, what do you think, Honey?"

Alice was beyond speaking and Jasper made the decision. He didn't _know _for sure but he had the idea you should leave it in to stop the flow if it was in an artery and with the flood of blood, it had to be. As he was about to relate that, Mr Plant jerked the knife clear of James chest and looked at it.

"Fuck," he yelled, seeing the fresh spurt of arterial blood and he dropped the knife and tried to stem the flow with his hands. He grabbed a small embroidered throw cushion and held it tightly against the man's chest.

"Shit, help me, I can't stop it," he cried out as his wife edged into the room warily.

"What's happened, is Alice alright?" she asked, kneeling at the side of the chair and taking one of Alice's icy cold hands into her own.

"Moira, help me, I can't stem the bleeding," her husband yelled and she rose quickly and ran to his side.

She pulled the cushion away and pushed Alice's nightdress into the hole in James' chest and pushed tight.

"There, it's slowing. It's stopped," she said, sounding pleased to have fixed things.

The paramedics took over and Mrs Plant stood back, waiting to be told she had saved the day. "I assessed the wound and stopped the bleeding. I think he will be fine, he just needs to be stitched up ," she said happily.

One of the attendants shook his head at Mr Plant, who put his bloodied hands around his wife's shoulders and led her home. "You did great, Moira. If it was possible to save him, then he owes his life to you. But he had lost so much blood before you came inside, love. It may have been too late. But you were amazing."

Alice tried to watch, horrified yet fascinated as the men loaded James onto a stretcher and strapped him in. The bigger man was pushing on James' chest, his hands clasped and moving in rhythm as the other man pushed the stretcher out quickly.

Jasper kept holding Alice, rocking her back and forth against his chest.

"But I thought it was you. In my bed. Then you were at the door. I knew you couldn't be in my bed and at the door. I don't know what happened. Are you sure you are not hurt, Jasper?"

Charlie Swan and Carlisle had walked inside at some point and Alice looked at them and blinked.

"I thought it was Jasper," she repeated.

"Is he..?" Jasper asked his father quietly. Carlisle shook his head.

"I don't know what happened. He tried to push the knife at Alice's throat and I was already in the air and he pulled it back and stabbed at me and I think my body thumped it into his chest. I didn't touch it with my hands."

"It's going to be okay, son. You have nothing to fear, he was in Alice's bed, armed. I think that says it all," Charlie added. "So, it ends like this. It was probably the most likely scenario."

"Can I take a shower? Can Alice and I please wash off the blood?" Jasper pleaded.

"Leave your clothes in the bathtub in case we need them for evidence but yes, have a shower and Carlisle might have to give Alice here something. I'll make some tea. With lots of sugar, right, Carlisle?"

"Yes, right, Charlie," the doctor answered. "Jasper, I will have to examine you both for cuts. They can't be serious but there could be wounds on either of you."

Jasper nodded and walked his girl to the bathroom. The hot water and soap washed away the blood and he held on to Alice, touching her face, making her look at him. "It's over and it's okay now, baby. He's dead."

"Oh, oh God," Alice cried and Jasper wrapped her in a towel and dried her quickly. Carlisle stepped into the room and Alice looked at him in surprise and let him examine her quickly then he wrapped a blanket around her and turned to Jasper.

Jasper glanced down at the long red line across his chest.

"It didn't break the skin but you are developing one heck of a bruise. You must have hit him with your body with one Hell of a lot of force."

"I didn't think. If I'd hesitated he would have had the knife at her throat and I couldn't have done anything. But I didn't even think about that, I just jumped," Jasper admitted.

"You did the right thing, never think otherwise. James is no loss and I suspect now that Charlie can have his house and yard examined legally, we will find a few surprises there. Get dressed, I'm sure Alice's father won't mind you borrowing some clothes, and I'll get Alice dressed and see if she needs to be sedated."

Carlisle led Alice out of her bloody bedroom and into the guestroom next to it, and went back, pulling out underwear and a tracksuit and sweater and handed her the clothes. She frowned and held them out and looked at them.

"I don't wear tracksuits, this was my Mom's and she put on weight and gave it to me but it's not what I would wear. Don't you think I'm too young for a tracksuit, Carlisle?" she asked and he helped her dress.

He handed her a small white pill. "Swallow this, it will make you feel better," he advised and Jasper walked in and handed Alice a glass of water.

"I don't do drugs. That's a slippery slope to Hell," she said, puzzled he didn't know this already and Carlisle nodded. "Just this once, Alice. Jasper needs you to be okay, so take the tablet."

Alice nodded and swallowed it down.

"I'll take you both home, Esme is waiting for you," Carlisle said.

X~x~X

Carlisle sat down at the dining room table and faced the others. Alice was asleep in Jasper's bed and he had refused to leave her, but Esme, Emmett and Rose, and Edward and Bella all waited for his news.

"James died somewhere between the Brandon house and the hospital. There was never any hope, once the knife pierced his heart he was as good as dead. Mr Plant only hurried the process along, he didn't change the outcome. Charlie says they found a body buried in the backyard of James' house. Officially it's unidentified as yet but I think we all know it's the Biers girl. She is the only missing person in this area and the body is the right height and gender. So it appears James was actually already a murderer. I think we all underestimated how depraved he was and what he was capable of doing. You were extremely lucky, Bella. Had he managed to lure you away and rape you as planned, I'm sure he wasn't going to leave you alive to testify against him.

Ironically, Edward's harassment of you led to you rarely being alone at any time so it may have saved your life. James left a journal and he wrote about how he had set you up repeatedly, but either Jasper or Emmett had spoiled things each time by accompanying you everywhere. I know you must have felt quite smothered by them guarding you like that, but it was worth it, it seems."

Bella closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Edward grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers.

"I take it back. I'm not sorry I annoyed the crap out of you now. It was better than had I left you alone and if you hadn't needed my brothers to protect you from me, it would have been a whole lot more dangerous. At least the worst thing I ever did was break your leg."

"You did not break my leg. I fell off the bleachers," Bella growled. "But, yes, thank you for being such a pain in the ass and making me be under the protection of my heroes here."

"You are welcome," Edward replied. "I just don't know how come I had no idea what James was doing all this time if I was his best bud? Are you sure I didn't know?" Edward asked.

"The way he wrote about you in his journal, I'm absolutely certain you knew nothing. You yourself scuppered some of his plans by hanging out with him when he had other things to do. He was grooming you, that was obvious but he was very frustrated that you would think nothing of setting fire to a building or a car yet you always argued and disagreed with his schemes. I think the fact his plans always involved hurting people was what kept you two from collaborating like he wanted.

Your ideas of revenge or whatever never mashed with his. I think the body count would have been a lot higher had he found an accomplice willing to help him, not argue about every scheme he suggested. He knew each time, you had your limits and a line you refused to cross, and he tried all he could to push you that step further, but you refused and finally tried to burn him in the science building. I think it was probably the first time you decided killing someone was the only answer."

"But I did try to kill him," Edward sighed.

"Well, it would have saved Alice all this trauma and maybe saved Kimberley's life even," Emmett stated.

"We don't know how long she has been dead. Whether he held her there for some time or not," Carlisle shrugged. Personally he hoped James had 'merely' killed her. There were worse things than being dead and he sincerely hoped Kimberley had never come to that conclusion herself at James' hands.

"At least Charlie had his instinct working and he knew Bella was safer in Edward's bed than anywhere else. It seemed an outrageous idea even to me at the time, but he was right. You two would have gotten up to whatever sexual highjinks you wanted to anyway. Putting Bella into your bedroom in this house probably saved her life a few times over. James was in your bedroom, Bella, and stole a few of your personal items after you moved in here, we now know. If not for Charlie, you would have been in that bedroom when he visited. Never ignore your gut instincts, this is proof positive of that. Even if goes against all your principals and all you think is right. Charlie was 100% right to do what he did."

"It did seem kind of bizarre," Emmett said. "Charlie trusting Edward with Bella. After all the teasing and shit, to know the one place she would be untouchable, and let her come here. How hard must it have been for him to swallow his pride and fatherly instincts to save her from the naughty Edward trousersnake, knowing there was a worse danger out there? I guess he always knew Bella was fundamentally safe with Edward, no matter what."

"He looked through the mask and saw the man," Carlisle agreed.

"So, on to happier things. Once Alice is over this somewhat, I suppose it's time for you kids to go explore New York and your apartments and get familiar with campus. It will be good for you to all leave Forks behind for a while and settle in a new place."

Esme stood suddenly as a loud hungry yell reached their ears.

"Feeding time at the zoo. Good night, all. I'll feed the baby and settle her then go to bed myself."

"I'll be right behind you," Carlisle replied and checked the security system.

"So, bedtime?" Edward asked Bella.

"Absolutely," she smiled and stood up with him.

"You two be good" Emmett warned. " Oh wait, you are bound to be not very good at first but it does get better, Bella, after practice. So just bite the bullet and let him practice a lot."

"From your lips to God's ears," Bella laughed.


	14. Chapter 14

**In keeping with the competition rules between me and Damo, this story ends at Chapter 15 BUT I want to continue it for a while longer once they finish college. This is your 2nd last chance to review to help me win, after c15 I only need to know if you are still out there reading so I know when to end it. Let me know this or next chapter if you want more, but of grown up Ed and Bella.**

**I'm not writing the college years, just a few chapters may contain referrals back to that time, but they will be adults in the story. I'm just adding on here to this story, not starting another. I'm almost up to my 50 stories limit.**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 14

"Do you want to go to New York ahead of the others? We could spend some time shopping for things for the apartment. Mom has done everything so far, furnished it appropriately, had the place repainted seeing the original owner was very into black walls, but there are no personal touches and I would enjoy you and I making the place ours."

"I can't leave Alice," Bella replied. "I would want her to stay here if it had been me..."

Edward tightened his hold on her and she growled.

"Too tight, loosen up. It's okay, Edward. Alice wasn't raped or stabbed, and she is recovering. I know the counsellor is helping her a lot. She's just reacting as anyone would in the circumstances."

"I know, it's just the idea it could have been you," Edward replied. He wasn't sure how he would ever be able to leave her side again, for even a minute. So far his only concession had been that she could use the bathroom alone, everywhere else Bella went, he went. Of course, that meant he had to share her shower and help her dress, and that took a surprisingly long time. All those places he needed to kiss before they were covered by clothing.

Bella didn't own a lot of clothing, Edward had conceded Alice was right about the shopping trip but at the moment, it wasn't high priority.

He and Bella had gone to Port Angeles the day before and looked at all kinds of clothing but while he had liked some lingerie she had modeled, he had no clue what girls in New York wore, and he didn't want Bella feeling out of place because she was underdressed, or overdressed. It was clearly a job for Alice.

"It will give her a bit of pleasure to choose my clothes and order me around, we should just wait. I'm sure I can actually wear something ordinary on the flight. Alice will need the time to just let go of everything that happened in Forks and get into a new mood for the city, so she won't even notice what I am wearing."

"Possibly," he had replied, stashing the bag of almost there outfits into the trunk. The rule seemed to be, the less fabric an outfit took, the more expensive it was, when it came to lingerie but on the other hand, the less fabric the more he liked it.

Bella hadn't flinched at any of the sexy revealing clothing he had chosen, but had danced around in front of him alone in the dressing room, and he had lost control and and grabbed her, and they'd make quick but very passionate love, silently, with just the curtain hiding them from the other customers and staff.

While Bella maintained a quiet, well behaved persona in public, in private she was anything but that. He had been a little shocked how quickly and completely she had adapted to love making and she had whispered in his ear what she needed without any blushing or holding back.

He liked it, an angel on his arm in public but a very wild and adventurous girl in his bed.

It was a new side to her that he knew had come about for him, with him, invented because they were so close and intimate now.

He looked back at times and wondered why he had delayed the final step because this truly was Paradise. Bella had yet to deny him the pleasure of her body even once. It seemed no matter how long their day or arduous their activities, hiking in the forest, swimming at La Push, shopping, visiting Charlie and cooking to fill his freezer, nothing made her any less keen at bedtime.

They had been tempted and given in on some of the outings and he had erased the ghost of James from her old bedroom by making love to her in her childhood bed. She had known what his aim was but had gone along with it and now, whenever they visited Charlie, she pulled him up the stairs to 'pack her belongings' to take to New York, but not a lot of packing ever happened. Charlie either knew what they were doing and turned a blind eye, or else imagined his daughter owned a heck of a lot more items than she did.

Edward had enjoyed the love making in unplanned places most. Out in the forest, where hikers could walk by and see, was one favorite scenario. The ground may be damp but they always took a rubberbacked picnic blanket rolled in his backpack, just in case of the sudden urge to picnic struck them.

Anyway, his girl seemed to like being taken with her back against a handy tree trunk and he never rebuffed her either.

They still liked to recreate their first time in the tub, that would always be special and his favorite memory. There was nothing as treasured in his mind as that first time even though as Emmett had promised, they were both improving rapidly with all the practice. There had been something so sweet and innocent about it and they tended to forget to do sweet and innocent much since then. Just thinking about the things they had done made him want her again but then, in truth he always wanted her.

Somehow he had lost the ability to just stand or sit beside her in company, without his arms being around her shoulders or waist. He needed contact, it warmed his soul as well as his body and fed him, refuelled him with Bella's love that shone around her like an aura.

He had never felt so much love and affection and it sometimes almost overwhelmed him but he took it and let it fill the gaps in his past. Although Esme had loved him, Bella's love was different, as it should be. It was healing and precious and made him accept himself as a good and worthwhile person, something his Mom had always tried to make him feel.

He felt different now, special. If someone like Bella could choose to love him, he must be wonderful, amazing, more than he knew.

Bella loved making love but she had always suspected she would. Her years of reading romances between couples had left her longing for her own Mr Darcy but Edward as so much more than that strange, deep man who couldn't accept love nor give it freely and openly. This real love was so much better than she had expected. Being with Edward in bed made her feel like they truly were two parts of the whole, and she needed him as much as he needed her.

She wanted him, so often she should feel embarrassed but he always felt the same way so she accepted that this longing was clearly just part of being with the man who had been made just for you. There was no other answer, they had always been meant to be.

She still looked back at the past years with tunnel vision, highlighting the good and ignoring the less good. The fact he still took responsibility for her fall annoyed her but that was the only thing about him that did, so she could cope.

She'd seen the horror on his face and his arms had reached for her, too late, but he had tried to prevent her fall. She'd feared she had lost him then because he stayed away from her for so long afterwards, not even game to sneer her way when she did or said something stupid that had begged to be parodied.

She'd felt bereft without him and strangely even missed his sharp wit and his unkind jibes, which had been worrying, but she always knew what he was doing. Keeping her at arms length, never allowing her to get close because she was the one who could break down his walls and they both knew it.

He needed his walls back then, they were the backbone of what held him together and she could have demolished him and left him crying in the dirt. So instead she had over reacted and fed his habit, enabled him to keep up the facade of being her enemy.

The times he had relaxed and spoken kindly had been enough to renew hope and keep her waiting for the day he gave in and just let them be what they were always fated to be.

The accident had been horrendous and his 'death' had been the very worst moment of her existence and had forced her to briefly wonder why this thing had ever existed between them if it ended like that, before they had even begun.

What she had put into that kiss, the first kiss that seemed to also be the last, had been everything she had ever felt for him, every hope for them, every dream she had experienced, and it had brought him back to her.

It was strange he had started the dreams about them being together from that day onwards because that dream had been in her mind as she kissed him goodbye. It had been as if she wanted him to take the knowledge with him to wherever he was going, that she had accepted him and even taken him to her bed, and they had been lovers in mind if not deed.

The way he had opened his eyes and assumed she was his had thrilled her. It was like the past was erased and they were starting from halfway through the book, the previous chapters rewritten.

While she did genuinely hurt for Alice and Jasper and what they had been through, in reality it was an effort to let anything bring her down. They were safe, James was gone forever, all was right and as it should be.

Esme expressed a desire to have lunch out in some restaurant with each son individually before they left Forks, and Bella had bitten back a smile at Edward's reaction. It was as if his Mom had asked him to leave a limb behind at home while they spent their last one on one time together.

"Can't Bella come too?" he had answered immediately.

"Edward, someone has to mind the baby and I want to do that. I never get time alone with your little sister and she and I need to bond so go. Take Esme to the best place you can find and enjoy your meal. Carlie and I will be fine, waiting for you to return."

Edward had gone but he had held her for so long before tearing himself away, Bella had feared he would crush the baby between their bodies and had handed her to Esme for her own safety and let him grip her properly and push their bodies together from head to toe. It felt like he was going off to war and needed to imprint every inch of her into himself.

She had laughed, out loud, when they returned, as Edward had litetrally run from the car into her arms , his penance over, and Esme had dashed upstairs to the nursery to check on Carlie.

He had kissed her face a hundred times and her lips in between frantic pecks and she had known there was no doubt they were where they had to be. Together, that was all that mattered.

Nobody would ever turn her head away from this man. No actor, no rock star, nobody would ever compare to her Edward. He was real, his love was eternal and they had somehow found one another. They were amongst that little group of forever couples, so lucky, so blessed. It made her heart bleed for Charlie, knowing this was how he had always felt for Renee but she hadn't felt it back. That was a tragedy and she wished there was a way to shake the woman and make her love the man as much as he loved her. What a pointless waste.

"What do you want to do today?" Edward asked and Bella flopped onto the bed beside him and kissed him. "Whatever you choose. We did the shopping trip I wanted yesterday so you have to decide how we spend today."

"Oh, so we are staying in bed all day," he laughed and grabbed her quickly and had her body beneath his in one swift well practiced move.

"Oh, we have to mind Carlie," she remembered, "so nothing over a G rating. We can't warp her little innocent mind."

Edward growled and looked at the time.

"We have two hours before Mom leaves. We should be making good use of this time," he insisted, baring her breasts to his mouth , pulling her cami down and settling in to taste her nipples that he loved so much.

"Clearly either you were breastfed too long or missed out on that stage of your life and have to experience now," Bella teased.

Edward moaned in reply and Bella slipped her boy shorts off, with difficulty, with his body on top of hers. His erection was pushing against his boxers and she reached down and stroked him through the satiny fabric. She found the opening and pulled him through it, and heard the fabric tear.

"God, Bella," he pulled off her breast long enough to moan. He returned his lips back again and sucked her strong and hard and she writhed and felt the need arise anew, despite the mere few hours that had passed since their last love making.

"Edward," she breathed and he laughed against her breast, making her shiver.

She opened her legs wider and tried to move with enough to force him to enter her but he kept his body elevated so all she could do was feel his tip gently stroking inside her folds.

"Oh,oh,oh,oh" she chanted and felt herself ready so quickly he would miss feeling her come if he didn't stop teasing and impale her.

"Edward,I'm going to.." she warned as he suddenly thrust inside her, and he moaned with her as she pulsed around him. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he pushed in and stilled and felt her body reacting.

"Talk to me Baby" he begged and Bella smiled and knew he was sorry now for teasing. He hadn't come, only she had and now he was paying the price for his behaviour.

She didn't need to punish him, he was already regretting it, so she bit his earlobe and breathed into his ear.

"You are so hard, so big and hard, such a wonderful lover," she moaned in her best porno voice and he started thrusting harder, in earnest. "Only you make me come, only you are man enough for Bella," she continued and smiled at his desperation.

"Fuck me harder, Edward, come on, fuck me really hard," she begged, finding her own body getting caught up with his. Damn it, would there ever be a point where enough was enough?

Edward lifted his torso and grabbed the bedhead with his hands and used the new prop to drive into her body with added vigor and Bella started moaning louder than he was.

She didn't give a moments thought to the noise they were making, she was gone, lost in a haze of love and lust so dense she could no longer think or see, or even pretend to control.

"God, the things you do to me," she gasped, forgetting to sound sultry yet the truth in her voice set him off faster and harder.

She should have wondered if this extra leverage would split her in two but she didn't care any more. She felt herself raise her legs around his waist and pull herself in closer to his body but even that wasnt enough and she slid one leg then the other up and onto his shoulders.

His eyes darkened and flashed at hers and she knew he was as out of control as she was.

He pounded her, so hard she was sure she would need new hips after this, but it was worth it. He was so raw and so unlike himself, he always needed to be in control but not now, not here at this angle. He just needed her to come so he could, then he did something he had never done and released inside her before she had let go.

He really had lost control and she smirked at the knowledge she had controlled him for once.

He shook with the tension in his arms and shoulders and threw his head back and let out a primal scream.

Bella had screamed many times but he never had before so she mentally gave herself a high five as he started to shake and dropped his arms to the pillow beside her head.

He kissed her harshly, desperately and she returned the passion and sucked on his tongue, and he shook her so she opened her eyes and stared into his.

"You probably shouldn't have done that," he growled and withdrew from inside her. Bella felt a quick pang of disappointment that this time, she had missed out but he was grabbing her body and flipping her over, and in seconds he had pushed back inside from the back as he started the dance again, kissing her back each time he lowered himself.

They had only done this way gently, laying with him spooning her, just creeping inside with care, and this was nothing like that.

His hands found her breasts and squeezed them roughly, then he lowered his hand and lifted her, his hand on her mound, pulling her body up as he balanced and took his weight on his toes and his other hand.

Bella automatically pushed herself up on her hands, like some erotic push up and felt him lose control again as he yelled her name each thrust. God, she spared a single thought to hope the house was empty or Emmett would be teasing them forever. Then she didn't care as the heat spread all over her body and the thrill stung and jolted through her and she came, spectacularly, around him. He reacted as she hoped and joined her cries and released inside her, grabbing her mound, holding her still against his throbbing loins, gasping for air.

It took forever for them to stop pulsing and calm down but finally he fell to her side and pulled her body in close and kissed her neck one single time.

She felt their hearts pounding away out of control and just breathed, all she could do. Deep, long, hard gasps as she feared she might have a heart attack and die.

God, he was trying to kill her, really kill her and she wanted him to. If this was a way to go, then bring it on.

"Bella," he choked, still trying to slow down his own heart. "God, Bella, you will be the death of me. But I don't care, it will be worth it," he gasped.

She felt his slick, sweaty body curl around hers and that was the last thing she remembered until the knocking woke her up.

"Huh?" she cried and she heard the laughter and knew they were so dead.

"I'm opening the door in five, four, three," Emmett called, opening the door anyway.

Bella was glad Edward had had the foresight to cover them up with a sheet before he fell asleep.

"Oh dear, did my naughty brother fuck the living daylights out of you? Thanks for that, Rose was not in the mood until he screamed then she became determined to make me scream, too. So, yeah, cheers, anytime you two want to fuck like that, it's cool with me."

"Go away," Edward growled, holding Bella tighter.

"Actually, if you opened your eyes you would see I'm actually showered and dressed and all decent and about to go out with my Rosie and Mom is waiting for you two to go take charge of the munchkin so she can go redecorate Alice's bedroom. Charlie's had the bed taken away and destroyed and Esme is going to supervise the stripping of the carpet and curtains and all that shit so she can start from scratch and make the room entirely different before Alice has to go home and pack. So get the fuck up and stop fucking about and yeah...do that again tonight, I didn't quite scream so Rosie is pissed and we have to keep trying."

He winked at Bella and slammed the door shut and she moaned and checked her body was still in one piece.

Edward rubbed his hands down her torso and grinned. "I didn't split you in half though it did feel like it," he said, kissing her neck.

"Edward, I had no idea that stuff was even possible. Mind you, I may never walk again."

"Walking is so overrated. Wheelchairs are cool."

"You have to carry me to the shower and wash me now," she ordered gruffly.

"I screamed," Edward said in wonder. "I never knew men could scream."

"Well you certainly can. It turned me on something chronic. Now I will always be thinking of this day as the day we really got it perfect," she sighed. "Even Emmett is envious and watch out for Rose, she never takes being outdone lightly. We are both in mortal danger."

"I screamed," Edward repeated, proudly.

He carried her into the shower and flinched a little at the bruises, and kissed each one better.

"God, I guess I did get carried away. You probably should have stopped me."

"Yeah, like I could stop an earthquake or a hurricane. And first I would have to want to stop you."

"You liked it?" he questioned, doubtfully. For him it had been the ultimate thrill of a lifetime but Bella was so petite and soft and delicate...

"I liked it and I'm booking another session just like it when we get to New York and have to baptize the apartment. Maybe we should play some really loud rock music next time, to drown out the screaming."

"I liked screaming," Edward protested. "I sounded like some wild beast."

"You are a wild beast, now dry me and dress me, I doubt I can bend down to pull my panties up."

"Panties are overrated,' he replied.

X~x~X

Bella walked downstairs and doubted she would be able to look Esme in the eye but the woman saved her.

"Bella, you finally woke up. I am sorry I couldn't let you both sleep in longer, but I have to get to the Brandon house and meet your father. He's lending me some men to pull up the carpet. I know you tow were sleeping deeply, with not a single sound coming from Edward's room," she said, looking Bella straight in the eye.

"Um, yeah, we did sleep in," Bella agreed. God, she knows, she heard.

"Okay, so I'm going now. Carlie is in the stroller, she likes to be taken for a walk around this time, and her formula is made up in the fridge. She will let you know when it's feed time, there's no mistaking those screams," Esme said, then blushed and hurried outside.

Bella pulled the stroller closer and peered at the sleeping infant. "At least you slept through the show, I hope so, anyway. God, how embarrassing," she sighed.

Edward walked down the stairs, pulling a tight fitted Tshirt over his chest that gleamed a little still from the undried water drops from the shower. Bella closed her eyes.

"Don't you own a shirt that doesn't hug your every muscle?" she questioned, defending her overworked center and wanting to be picturing something else for a while so her ladies parts could rest.

"Sorry, babe," he smirked, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm serious, Edward. I need time to recover from that."

"God knows we all do," Jasper said, walking towards them. He flopped onto the couch beside them and put his hand out to Edward and they did the slap, knuckle punch, whatever thing men do.

"Go brother. I have never heard anything like that. You screamed."

"I screamed," Edward smirked.

"You do realise Rose is probably out buying bondage equipment or some such shit, she will never allow you two to hold the title of Top Fuckers for long?"

"Whatever. I screamed," Edward boasted.

"Stop saying that. Carlie is awake and she doesn't need to hear things like that," Bella warned.

"How's Alice?"

Jasper shrugged. "Better. Still crying out in her sleep but at least she stops when I hold her tight, and she knows I'm there and I would never let anyone hurt her."

"You proved that alright," Edward agreed. "Are you okay, Jaz?"

"Sure, my only regret is that I didn't go inside before her and kill him out of her sight. If I'd found him in her bed with that knife even before she walked in, I probably would have stabbed him," he admitted.

"Anybody would," Edward said, feeling better about his own attempt to kill James now Jasper knew the feelings as well. It didn't seem so wrong any more. Just inevitable. Someone had to take out the trash.

"Think of all the girls you saved, each one of them is worth a hundred times what James was," Bella stated. She walked to the door and Edward jumped up and got there first, opening it for her.

"I'll push Carlie, you talk to Jaz."

Talking helped and the brothers came outside and watched Bella playing with the baby and Alice sat on a blanket and laughed softly as Carlie grabbed Bella's hair and tried to eat it.

"She'll be okay," Edward assured his brother. "We all will."


	15. Chapter 15

**barbiedoll123  
>2011-10-04 . chapter 14<strong>

i really loved this chapter

**Look, Barbie is reading my story! It's the real one, we already discussed how she dumped Ken for Blaine, (they are still together) and she got to keep the dreamhouse, isn't that good? I have a famous reader, it's all worth it now. (I don't know if it's the original Barbie with the big hooters or the remodelled version though.)I didn't mention anything about all those 'little sisters' we are supposed to believe her Mom keeps having. Someone better give Blaine some condoms.**

The Death Of Edward Cullen

(Stats mentioned are stolen from an early episode of a medical drama, Grey's Anatomy maybe ?, no idea if they are accurate!)

Chapter 15

Edward smiled as he lay on their bed and watched Bella organise the huge walk in robe. It felt different, living here in their own place, even though they had shared his bedroom for those last months in Forks. He knew what it was, he felt like an adult. He was the owner of the home they shared, he paid the utilities and cable bills, he did the shopping and cooking and laundry. Bella helped, of course, but he finally felt like a grown up.

No mother to call on for help, everything had to be decided by them, as a couple.

The bedroom was starting to look like theirs as both meshed their favorite items and it was a little bit Edward and a little more Bella. Girls owned more stuff, that much he knew already. And they liked their stuff out on display.

He didn't mind, he just wanted Bella to feel at home. He watched amazed as she hung up her tops by the color. All the reds, then the autumns, then the blues, greens, whites and black.

Then she started with her skirts and finally jeans.

Alice had flipped right back into her old persona as soon as they arrived and Bella had spent the last few days being dragged from one shop to another as her friend gathered armfulls of clothing and tossed them into the fitting room.

"Try them all on. I know every item I selected, I will know if you try and 'forget' some of them. Firstly the new jeans, once we find the right style, then we start on white blouses and tops. White is the new black. Oh, then we try the black tops and then we move to color."

"So, is black the new white?" Bella asked.

Alice thought about it. "Maybe, you could be right. Red and blue look good on you. Are we thinking of maybe getting a hairstyle now we are living in the city? I mean, long hair is great and all but it is New York and your hair is very 'Forks', no offence."

"You may fight that one out with Edward. All I know is he threatened your health if you dragged me within a mile of a hairdresser or whatever they call themselves here."

"Stylists," Alice answered without thought.

"Then maybe we could just get it trimmed, and have some foils? Add more red, so it shows when you aren't in the sun? Have you ever considered going blond?"

"Edward prefers brunettes," Bella answered, pulling on the jeans she liked the best out of the twenty or so pairs on the chair. They were tight fitting and low rise but not obscene rise, and had flared hems.

"Bella, here's a really radical thought. How about you decide how you would like your hair, and just let Edward like it or lump it? You are not his puppet. You let him pull your strings too much as it is."

Bella walked out and turned, holding her arms in exaggerated model poses.

"Well?"

Alice looked critically and nodded. "Yes, I can work with these. We know skinnies are great on you but I like these. They change it up a bit."

"White blouses?" Bella checked. There were a lot of white tops, cropped, long, open, fitted, embroidered, broderie anglaise.

She wore each one and pulled it off, tossing it right if yay, left if nay. But she did add any she liked despite Alice's disapproval to the Yes pile, and she buried one pre approved almost obscene top under the No's out of sight.

It seemed like the day dragged on forever but at noon, Edward appeared and grabbed Bella's hand.

"She gets time off for lunch. Deal with it, Alice" he laughed and took her to front counter, handing over his card to pay for the outfit she was wearing. Then he handed it to Alice so she could buy the 'yays'.

"Couldn't you diagnose me with something horrid and get me out of this afternoon's Barbie doll dress up day?" Bella pleaded. They'd done underwear, sports wear, lingerie, coats and jackets already on previous days.

"Bella, I haven't even had my first pre-med lecture, I'm hardly allowed to write sick notes."

Bella pouted and devoured her own lunch then picked at his.

"This isn't like you, aren't you hungry?"

"Nervous," he shrugged. "I really want to do medicine but now eight years suddenly looks like forever. We'll be twenty six years old by the time I can practice with Carlisle. It sounds so old. Are you sure you want me to do this because if you don't think we can hack the pace, then speak now. I can switch to music."

"You want to be a doctor, I will never stand in your way. We can handle it. You have to come home to sleep, we'll be fine. I have Alice and Rose here with me so I have other people, not just you. I can go out with them when you move on to the more full on years."

Edward smiled but he still worried. Eight years was a huge ask and they hadn't been together that long. And of course, what she didn't realize was Alice's course was four years long and Rose's a mere three. Then they would be gone, off into the world with his brothers, probably selling their apartments and moving away. And all she would have was him. Of course, the last years of medicine were the worst and the most hectic and she had no idea.

He handed her back to her tormentor and saw her face fall when Alice said the word "shoes" and laughed to himself.

Now here she was, putting away all her new outfits and frowning when she saw some of the price tags.

"Money is no object, don't even read the prices and that way you will never know and you will enjoy wearing everything more," he suggested.

Tomorrow was his day of torture. Alice was hardly allowing the newly clothed Bella be seen with the casually dressed Edward. He would grin and bear it, for all their sakes. He had worried they wouldn't get Alice back, not completely, but she had left the horror and fear behind once she boarded the plane and came off smiling and eager to start anew.

Jasper had needed a few therapy sessions himself once he was hit with the full horror of what almost happened. Knowing his Alice could have been assaulted and maybe killed had hit him like a ton of bricks and he'd gladly taken Carlisle's advice and attended a counsellor to talk it off.

He was okay too, he had a moment of panic as he woke each morning but it passed as soon as he saw the face sleeping beside him. She was safe, she was untouched. Even getting her back 'only raped' but left alive would have been horrendous and he had no pangs of conscience for James' death. He hadn't been responsible, James had. He hadn't taken the knife and plunged it into the man's heart but deep down, he knew he would have. He totally understood Edward nowadays, since it happened.

Just as his brother tried to kill to save Bella, Jasper would kill James a hundred times over if he had to. Nobody hurt Alice, end of sentence.

X~x~X

Edward walked into the lecture hall and looked around. All these eager faces, ready to start the long years of learning. He sat down beside a dark haired man his own age and opened the introductory pamphlets.

The sound of excited voices bounced off the walls until the lecturer arrived, then the silence was immediate.

"Welcome. A lot of eager new students. While I am happy to see so many of you here, we have exactly one hundred in fact, I would be remiss if I didn't warn you all, like I warn every new intake of pre-med scholars.

Out of the hundred of you, how many will end up enduring this course and the next eight years and walk away a fully fledged doctor? Come on, hands up. How many do you think will last the distance?"

He pointed at a girl in the front.

"Seventy five?" she guessed.

"Wrong."

"Fifty?" suggested a man in the middle row.

"Wrong. Let me tell you the sad truth. Ten of you will survive. Ten of you will add 'Doctor' to the front of your names. That means ninety of you won't. Look around, some of these people will be gone before the end of this first year. The first year sorts out the mediocre and undecided, from the dedicated and naturally clever. If you struggled to achieve the high grades needed to get you this far, think again.

If you are ambivalent and considering another course, then change now. These next years will be brutal and you will curse me and every teacher and doctor you work with. Long hours, exhaustion, inability to cope with the drive for perfection, something will cause ninety of you to drop out along the journey.

Who here has a serious partner? The news gets even better. Out of the ten that make it, let's assume you all did the old fashioned thing and got married at some point before finishing."

A few girls giggled and the men laughed, but not with confidence.

"Of those ten, six will be divorced before the last day. Two will have separated and be in an on/off relationship, which will reflect more on their partner than themselves because you will all be too tired and too stretched to be remembering anniversaries and doing dinner dates and keeping the romance alive.

Of the two remaining, only one will still have the same partner at their side to cross the finish line."

Edward wondered what that meant. How would the second to last partner disappear? Maybe it was better not to speculate. Anyway, he and Bella would be the golden ones. They would make it through and win this cruel and hard lottery.

They would.

He approached the professor when the lecture was over and waited patiently as the man answered a dozen questions from other students. Edward wanted to be last and to have some privacy for his queries.

When his turn came , he introduced himself.

"Professor Lingard, I'm Edward Cullen. One of the one hundred."

"Ah, our star pupil and frontrunner to be in the final ten. What can I do for you, Mr Cullen?"

"Can you give me any advice? I do want to end in the last ten, of course, everybody here does, but I also want to be the one with my girl still at my side. You must know why so many partners give up and leave. Can you offer me any insights of how to achieve being the lucky one?"

"Are you married, Edward?"

"Nope, but I could change that. Bella, my girlfriend, knows that is what I want. We both want it. She just feels we are a little young at present."

"So, are you asking me the best way to keep her for you or do you love her enough to allow her a way out if she needs it?"

"I want her to stay. I need her. But she needs me and loves me too. I just can't see what will tear us apart. I would never cheat, neither would she. We love each other and we both want to last the distance."

"You say she would never cheat. Have you ever left her home alone for weeks on end? Never called, fallen into an exhausted sleep on any available surface? Been too tired to know what day it is, even if it's her birthday or your anniversary? All these things will come to pass, if you last the distance.

The first four years are hard, rugged. The last four are brutal. They are not for the feint hearted and few women stand by their man when they haven't seen him awake for weeks on end, when he does manage to come home. And the ones who add kids to the mix struggle even more, because if you have a baby, you need to acknowledge she will be raising it alone until you qualify. You will be in no condition to help her, you won't wake up when that baby screams it's lungs out, you won't be trustworthy making up formula or caring for a newborn because you will actually be more exhausted than she is, even though she had the strain of the pregnancy and the stress of birth and now the sleeplessness nights a newborn brings. YOU will be more tired than that.

Can you imagine that, Edward? Can you imagine being more than willing to swap sex for sleep? I bet at the moment you sacrifice sleep for a long romp some nights and think nothing of it. Have you ever been so exhausted sex is not even a chore, but an impossibility? It will be. Towards the end, you will work, eat and sleep. Anything more will be a strain and often simply not doable. Family get togethers? Nope, you could sleep instead.

Birthday dinners out? Only if they hook you up to a drip so you don't have to chew.

The smart ones delay a special relationship until they are done, so they don't try and fail with their girl of choice. They keep her for afterwards, when they have time and patience, instead of exhaustion and patients. Meanwhile they make do with hook ups if the need gets too much to ignore. There are one hundred of you, roughly half are women in the same boat. It stands to reason some of them will be open to just sex. That's all I can offer."

"I can't break up with her," Edward cried. "I could never break up with my Bella."

"No? Then don't. But just know, the chances of you being with her by the end are a hundred to one. Good luck."

X~x~X

Edward thought about that conversation a lot and tried to think of any ways he could ensure Bella stayed with him. He debated with himself whether he should insist they get married right now but that was not a guarantee. Renee had left Charlie, without a backward glance and they had a baby together for God's sake. He did decide there would not be a child until he was qualified, it wouldn't be fair on any of them to have it earlier.

He sat down with Bella and explained his fears and the reality of how it would be by the end.

"I think we have to cling onto the knowledge one couple makes it, Edward. We could be that couple. I think we are stronger than a lot of couples and maybe that means we have what it takes. All we can do is do our best. Keep talking, that's the important thing. Always tell one another when things are tough and we need more attention. Don't dismiss one another's needs and fears. Carlisle and Esme made it, they were the one in a hundred couple."

Edward smiled at her optimism. One day he would tell her that even Carlisle and Esme had crashed and burned for a little while, but they had found one another again after he qualified and had gotten back together. It was probably the most realistic thing to hope for. If they split up, then they had to find one another again and try to regain what they had now.

He swore to himself he would do just that.

He pondered about what he could do to add to their chances of keeping their love alive and decided to go on a little shopping spree of his own. He chose sixteen pieces of jewellery that he was sure Bella would love and had them gift wrapped so at the very worst, he would always have a birthday and Christmas gift for her.

Then he suggested they choose two nights each week as date nights. No matter what else came up, those Monday and Thursday nights were written in stone, unless something really important clashed now and then. They would swap to another night that week but twice a week, they would go out together regardless.

Old habits die hard, they just had to make a start on some habits and get them going now.

Edward bought notepaper and wrote little love notes to leave for her to find when he was late home after class. Some classes had extra requirements, like study groups, so already some of their nights together would be gone. But the ones that remained were all theirs. He told Bella every morning when they first awoke how much he loved her, and the same before they went to sleep.

How hard could it be, to say a few words every day? He could handle this. He would be the one, they would weather this together.

On Bella's birthday he covered every base. Gift, card with words of love written by his own hand, flowers, dinner out, little get together in a bar with the others, and a cake he baked himself. If he could make this a habit, she would always know how much he treasured her.

For his birthday she cooked them his favorite meal and bought him a gift as well as buying herself a new set of silky lingerie for his hands to unwrap from her body in bed that night. She gave him herself, as she always did and it was the gift he wanted most of all.

So long as he had his Bella, all would be right with the world.

The next years was harder, but they managed. He was often late, or sometimes he forgot important dates, but Bella forgave him and accepted she needed to mark on the calendar any day she wanted him to remember. He often had little clue what day it was when he rolled out of bed, yawning.

His rare days off were precious. At first, they were all for her and they did whatever she had planned patiently, weeks earlier. But as time passed, he had to reclaim half the day. He needed to sleep, if they were going to make love twice a week, he had to sleep.

She adapted and chose outings closer to home and they gradually became more lazy days spent just in the apartment, with Edward catnapping between board games and coffee breaks.

He still remembered to always say the words of love mornings and nights, and she was patient and waited for him to initiate sex, knowing if sh did there was the chance he would fall asleep mid foreplay.

He watched some of the other students resort to drugs, uppers, to keep themselves awake but he was not going that route. The professor had been right, the student numbers were dropping steadily and faces he had become accustomed to disappeared one by one.

Most juts stopped turning up, a few had dramatic breakdowns and screamed and tugged at their hair while screaming how they couldn't handle this, they just couldn't take any more.

He understood but he kept eating properly, never drank or smoked, took vitamins, and slept at every opportunity.

He checked the calendar at least once a week, got in early if he knew he would miss an important day because he was studying or attending his extra classes, and he congratulated himself on managing where so many were failing.

The fifth year was an eye opener and he did concede, he had not known what tired was before. Working at the hospital was hard, the hours ridiculously long and he did fall asleep anywhere and fail to go home, but Bella always understood.

It was the price they had to pay and she had her new job at the magazine and was loving it, often she chatted about things that had happened in the office as he fell asleep. But he was in their bed more nights than not, that had to get him points.

They did the family meet up in a restaurant twice a year so he was always blown away by Carlie, growing so fast. Bella was always more prepared, as she chatted online and sent and received photos, so the changes in his sister didn't shock her. Bella always knew all the news and he gave up trying to keep up, he had a brain full of facts and procedures and medical terms and not much space to spare for frivolous chatter.

He felt they were pretty much on track, he tried to make sure he at least texted her once a day if he couldn't see her but things slipped through past him, though none as serious as the night he crawled home and turned on the lights in the front room and there it was. Cards adorning the shelf, wrapping paper discarded on the floor, cake plates with forks and crumbs and specks of frosting abandoned on the coffee table. He frowned and looked at the clock. Three am.

Edward had completely missed Bella's birthday.


	16. Chapter 16

**Lyrics are Adele's. Naturally.**

Part Two.

The Death Of Edward Cullen.

Chapter 16.

When will I see you again?  
>You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said<br>No final kiss to seal any sins  
>I had no idea of the state we were in<p>

But don't you remember?

Don't you remember?

The reason you loved me before,

Baby, please remember me once more.

Gave you the space so you could breathe,

I kept my distance so you would be free,

And hope that you find the missing piece,

To bring you back to me.

Why don't you remember?

Don't you remember?

The reason you loved me before,

Baby, please remember me once more.

When will I see you again?

X~x~X~xXx~X~x~X

Bella thanked the teller and placed the bank cheque into her purse. She had saved exactly the cost of her college education that Edward had paid for eight years ago, and now she could pay him back in full. He would possibly refuse to take it, money was never an issue, but she wanted to sever this last tie between them. If that's what Edward wanted.

She hadn't seen him in person for over a year. They had ended quietly, with a whimper, not a bang.

For the first four years, it had been tolerable and even good, both studying, going to class. Edward's pre-med was far more demanding than her Journalism course so she understood she would have more free time than he would.

At first, it wasn't an issue. Then he had to add in practicals, study groups, hospital training, more studying and before they knew it, she was attending the weddings of friends alone, as he worked. Or christenings and naming days, as their friends moved on ahead and they were stuck, waiting for their lives to begin again.

Even so, Bella had stayed and made the best of the occasional kiss or episode of quick sex, all they could fit into the schedule. All Edward could fit into his schedule. Maybe if hers has been as crowded, things would have lasted. The final two years were simply Hell. Many nights he didn't even come home as he slept in the on call room at the hospital. Some weeks they ran into one another as he dropped in to grab clean clothes and she dashed out on an assignment for the magazine she worked for. She couldn't just not go to work because he had a rare few hours off and they saw less and less of one another.

Then the magazine closed it's New York Office and moved lock, stock and barrel to Los Angeles, and Bella went too.

Of course, they had discussed it and decided she should go ahead, seeing Edward was so rarely home, and she would fly back every Friday night and then return to LA Sunday evenings.

However, it worked out more often than not, Edward worked all weekend anyway so Bella had made the trip for a quick kiss, or a text message he could have sent to her in LA anyway.

Thus the rot set in and Bella returned less and less often, and Edward was barely there.

He missed her birthdays, but to be fair, he missed his Mom's, his Dad's, his brother's and his own as well.

Even when she asked him to reserve some time for them to have dinner together and talk about how everything was getting too difficult, he failed to turn up, again and again.

So, in the end, Bella quietly packed up everything she owned and had it shipped to LA and really properly moved away to live alone.

The cost of the pointless air fares had added up and the pay off had been too little too late. She did wonder if Edward even knew she had gone and that question was answered one day as she sat at a recently ended meeting and saw she had a new text from him, the first in the ten days since she moved out.

_Could you please collect my dry cleaning, they keep leaving messages saying its been waiting for over a week. Thanks. E_

Bella had sighed and shaken her head. He hadn't been to the apartment for ten days. He hadn't read the note she had left, he hadn't seen the half empty closet or that the apartment no longer contained any of her knick-knacks or photos or paintings. She'd left the empty spaces blank, in the hope he would see them at least.

_You need to collect that yourself, I moved out completely ten days ago. I'm living in LA full time. Nice of you to notice.B_

The reply was at least, swift. Her cell buzzed and she answered, against workplace rules.

No personal calls. If she didn't take it, it could be months before she heard from him. Her calls to him had all been unanswered.

"Bella," he growled. "What the fuck? You've moved out?"

"I have."

"Did it even occur to you to tell me?"

"Yes, it did. I cooked dinner on three different occasions and asked you to be there. You never showed. I explained the whole story to your chair and it didn't have any objections so here I am."

"So, we are done? Just like that?"

"Edward, how long is my hair?"

"What? What kind of question is that? How long is your hair? Past your waist."

"Wrong. What color is it?"

"Um, brunette."

"Wrong again. You haven't seen me for more than a few minutes for months. I had my hair cut to my shoulders before Christmas. I got blond foils done months ago. So long ago, they are just about ready to be trimmed off next visit to the hairdresser. You missed an entire new look I was trying."

"Is that really important?" he asked impatiently.

"Only in the respect, had I been kidnapped, you couldn't even have described me to the police. And if the note I left you was a ransom note, I dare say I'd be dead by now. The kidnappers would have assumed I was of no value to you."

"Of course you are of value to me. I love you."

"Words, Edward. I never see you. I can be replaced by a housekeeper. The only way you knew I was there was because I kept your clothing washed and ironed. You didn't notice I was gone until you needed your dry cleaning collected. I think that says it all."

"I'm sorry. Please come back. I'll try harder to find some time for you."

"Too late. Let's leave it like this, while there are no harsh words spoken and bad feelings. It's best that way."

"Dr Cullen we have a code in Room 64," a voice yelled.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"Dr Cullen! He's crashing."

The connection was ended and Bella sighed and closed her phone. He didn't even have time for them to have a 'break up' conversation.

She knew he was feeling as badly as she was, but there was no answer. At that time, there could be no changes for another two years and he had even started thinking about specializing, more years of studying and never being home.

Bella had started to picture herself growing old and Edward coming home to her, finally, when all his work was done and he was finally just a doctor with a nine to five practice and not recognising her because she had aged so much while she waited.

It wasn't a ticking clock thing in the usual sense, she wouldn't have wanted to add children to the mix and raise them alone.

Edward had wanted them, and a wedding but he couldn't ever commit to a definite few days so they could have the ceremony and a brief little honeymoon. Bella had booked two tentative dates and canceled when Edward had forgotten and had looked blankly at her when she reminded him, then he had remembered he had some vital training on those weekends.

So it went on. She gave up on the wedding and then the whole relationship.

At first, he had sent her a few desperate text messages but then even they stopped.

And so they drifted apart. It was so hard to believe how hard they'd worked to get together, yet how little effort had gone in to staying together.

Then, one day, out of the blue, he had called her. It was lunchtime and she smiled, knowing he had finally got it. He had to eat and he could eat and talk at the same time. He hadn't referred to her leaving at all, just chatted like they had in the few times he had a minute to spare her in the last year she had been there with him.

Now it was a daily event and it seemed crazy that they talked more now than when they lived together.

Every lunchtime, bar none, he called and told her about his day and asked her about hers. She refused to schedule any meetings at that time of day, annoying her boss but if Edward could make an effort, so could she. He never mentioned if he was dating, and she hadn't even tried that yet. She still loved him with all her heart so there was little point spending time with anyone who wasn't Edward.

He did concede he could see she needed a life as well and he hadn't tried hard enough. He'd put his career above her needs and he had apologised many times for that.

She heard the sadness in his voice many days, and knew he had regrets but he was doing amazingly well, always the top student, and soon he would be a fully fledged doctor and return to Forks to practice with his Father, and take over his Dad's role as Chief of Surgery and Medicine when Carlisle retired. Edward no longer wanted to extend the studying and specialise, she wasn't sure why, he never explained, just told her it wasn't happening. He hadn't mentioned going home or asked her to come back, but she knew she wanted to, she just needed a sign from him that he wanted what they had back as well.

And now she was being summoned back instead by the joint wedding ceremony as Jasper Austin Whitlock married Mary Alice Brandon, and Emmett McCarty Cullen married Rosalie Lillian Hale.

Of course, both brides were having three bridesmaids apiece but both also wanted Bella, so she was the joint Head Bridesmaid and was to stand between the two brides and escort them down the aisle. Both Alice and Rose had lost their fathers so she wasn't going to be usurping those men.

Then when she handed each woman to her respective man, she presumably had to stand there like a spare wheel and watch her friends tie the knot on either side of her.

Of course Edward would be there and no doubt, he would be Best Man for one of the brothers.

Or both, who knew?

Bella knew it would be hard, seeing him again. He had flown to LA twice after the split, but he admitted he had nothing new to offer, and he had returned home again the same day. He would still be working all the hours God sent and even he agreed it was better for Bella to have a career and a life in LA, even if it had to be without him.

She knew he would have changed things if he could, but how did one do that? Walk out after seven years of training and waste those years? He had suggested that very thing the last trip he made and she had refused to consider taking him back if he did that. The very idea that the six years she had stayed and waited would be null and void and completely pointless if he didn't stay the distance. It would have crushed her.

And now he was about to become what he wanted to be. A nine to five doctor.

Bella had her bag packed and her tickets in hand and she caught a cab to LA International Airport.

In about five hours, she would see Edward again. He had sent her a text saying he would be collecting her from the airport once she arrived and her stomach dropped at the thought it was probably going to be one of those awkward trips where neither was sure of where they stood and any distractions he may have found since she went could be owned up to. He was a man, a gorgeous man, without an outlet for his sexual needs, after all. She'd never asked, he'd never told.

However, what a shock. It was Jasper who ran to her and threw his arms around her.

"Bella, you look amazing! Thanks so much for coming all this way. We all decided it would not be a proper wedding without you."

"I was expecting Edward. I suspected he would be using the trip home to be breaking the news about whoever he has been with. And whether any of them meant anything to him. Are you doing that duty?"

"Edward had to work."

"Why am I not surprised? Nothings changed, then."

"He misses you terribly," Jasper said briefly. "However, you do need to be warned about Rose and Alice, they are both pregnant. Alice can't hide it, of course, at her height but Rosalie is quite deluded in thinking nobody can tell about her condition so don't squeal and say you thought she was a whale or ate a whale or something."

"As if I would. Wow. Both pregnant. When are they due?"

"Alice is due in five months, Rose in three months but I'm not joking, she thinks she is still slim and shapely and you had better look shocked and surprised when she breaks the news to you. Like it never even occurred to you she could possibly be expecting with that slim figure."

"Cheers, thanks for that warning."

"They both want girls and neither knows what they are carrying. Of course, Emmett and I know. We asked the OB to tell us after the scans. Do you want to know or can't you keep a secret?"

"Hmm, I would possibly let it slip so maybe it's better me not knowing. Unless they are both having girls."

Jasper shook his head.

"Both having boys?" she asked desperately.

"Nope. One of each."

"Crap. So one gets the gender they want and the other doesn't. I am so glad I'm not the husband to be of the one who gets the 'wrong' baby. If it's you, you have my very best wishes and good luck."

"I'm sure once the babies are born nobody will care about the genders anyway. It's a theory but we are counting on it being true."

"How is Edward?" Bella asked.

"We never see him. As you know, his life is all about work. He rarely gets time off and when he does, he sleeps. So we have mostly lost touch. I drop in if I'm in the city but usually he is working. He missed the engagement parties of course. But then, so did you."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't in a good place mentally back then."

"But you are now? You are ready to face him?"

"I have to be. Either we really do split up for real and stop talking as well as everything else or we make the effort to get back what we had."

"And which option do you want?" Jasper asked.

"I can't answer that until I talk to Edward. There's no point me spilling my guts and wanting something that may not even be on offer."

"As I said, we rarely talk so I don't know anything to tell you either way."

"Just tell me if you know he has been with a lot of girls. Or worse, just one."

"It would only be as a fuckbuddy I would imagine. We've all still met for dinner twice a year since you left and he's always come alone. Never any hint of any other woman."

"So, he hasn't replaced me entirely," Bella said hopefully.

Jasper shrugged.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. Most men would mention they had a new woman in their life but then, would he? In front of us, your cheer squad? Maybe he wasn't game to bring her along with him. Maybe he only uses her for sex. Maybe she doesn't even exist."

"Jasper, you are a man of the same age, could you give up sex?" she asked.

"Hmm, probably not. You have a point. But before Alice, don't forget I did have meaningless sex with girls and I can assure you, it can be completely free of emotions and just a need to scratch an itch. Truly. Hasn't it been that way for you? Women have needs too, I know that. You and Edward were pretty hot together back in the day. Don't tell me you have turned into a nun?"

"I haven't slept with anyone new. I wouldn't know how to go about it. I know I could just get really drunk and go home with some stranger but I'd hate myself so much in the morning it wouldn't be worth it."

"So, what do you do instead?" he asked.

"I watch movies, I live vicariously through the romantic couples. I watch a lot of chick flicks and I have my memories of when we were like that. Unable to bear to be apart. I watch any show on the TV that has some romantic hero getting with the girl we know wants him. I kind of like that, seeing them first click then watching them grow together. And of course, the movies end before they fall apart so you can keep the illusion."

"You two were under impossible strain. I read your emails to Alice, I know some weeks you didn't lay eyes on him and when he did come home, he slept. I know it must have been awful for you, no friends to fill in the gaps. I wish we hadn't had to move away but my job demanded that and Emmett hated New york with a passion, as you know. He'll never be happy anywhere but Forks, and now he's the coach at Forks High, he is completely blissed out."

"And Rose just accepted returning here?"

"Rose loves it. Big fish in a small pond. Or, really attractive fish in a pond of ordinaries. She loves being the best looking woman in town, in her own opinion anyway."

"That sounds like Rose all right. So, where are you taking me?"

"I know Charlie wants you to stay with him at his house, is that where I should be headed?"

Bella nodded. She had been hoping Edward had overruled that arrangement and demanded she be taken to Esme's house and installed in his old bedroom with him. Apparently not.

"I could take you to Carlisle's so you can catch up first? The women are all running about like headless chooks but Emmett is keen to see you, and Carlie is growing up so fast, you will be shocked."

"I do want to see them all, but I guess Charlie will be waiting."

"He did change shifts so he could see you. Best go there, then. I'll be back for you tonight, for the rehearsal dinner. Eight o'clock."

"So, are you my taxi service this trip?" she asked. What she meant was, does Edward have so little interest in seeing me that he's placed that chore on to you?

"Edward's working tonight, he's flying in tomorrow."

"Oh, so he'll only be here for the actual ceremony?"

'Possibly. He's nearly there, Bella. Three more weeks and he will be free and clear and be able to come home and work with Dad."

"I'm sure the family are happy about that."

"Of course, they missed him a lot. We have always visited and kept in constant touch with Mom and Dad and Carlie's come to stay with us at vacation times and we've come back here on lots of occasions. They have Emmett back. There's just the gap Edward's left really."

"I know all about that gap," Bella agreed.

Charlie opened the front door and rushed to Jasper's car and opened her door.

"Bells, so good to see you. You look great, doesn't she look great, Jasper?"

"Sure she does, Charlie. She looks good."

He wondered if he should have warned Bella about how Edward looked these days. So thin and tired and the black/purple lines under his eyes from so little sleep and not enough food. He shunned advice that he really did have to eat, he spent his lunch break talking to Bella instead and it showed. No doubt he grabbed a fruit bar or something to snack on as he headed back inside to work, but he had looked so much better when she cooked for him and kept his clothes clean. The man clearly paid someone else to do that now.

Jasper had gone to see him on a regular basis but he understood Bella's frustration and why she had left. More often than not he wasted the trip and didn't lay eyes on Edward, and when he did, it was a hurried short conversation with Edward contributing little. He really did have no life outside work, Jasper was sure. But he had seen enough medical dramas to know how often doctors hooked up together in the on call room beds to truly not know who Edward slept with.

He'd never asked, not wanting to know the answer.

He carried Bella's bag inside and kissed her cheek and left, heading back to the bedlam that was his life until the wedding was over.

X~x~X

The rehearsal of the ceremony was a laugh, with Rose tense because a few uninformed people had congratulated her and asked when she was due.

She'd been happy to see Bella but mainly she wanted constant assurance those people were psychic or had been told the news already and were just saying what they thought she wanted to hear. She was sincerely convinced she wasn't showing and Bella was surprised she would rather be thought of as being overweight and out of shape instead. If she were Rose, she would have been thrilled that people were happy for her.

Rose's wedding dress had been changed from strapless and slim fitting to a looser Juliet style that hopefully hid a multiple of sins. She turned and twisted in front of the mirror, reassuring herself nobody could tell.

Alice was the opposite. She adored her 'preggie baby belly' and wanted everyone to touch it and feel her baby move. She clearly thought she was the first woman to ever perform the miracle of carrying her lover's child and she told anyone who failed to mention her condition within the first two sentences.

Jasper and Emmett sat either side of Bella on a church pew, automatically flanking her as they had in High School. Neither realised, it was so ingrained back then, it just didn't occur to them the need was long passed.

Emmett had loved having a woman he could grab off her feet and lift into the air as he greeted her, now he had to treat Rose like porcelain. He was widely grinning and clearly as happy as he had ever been and Bella felt better just being with her 'boys' again.

"Going on the size of Rose, I'm going to say she is having the boy," Bella guessed.

"Shhh, she will have a fit if she finds out. She is buying everything pink and insists it's a tiny feminine little girl and look at me, Bella. Could I even father a small child? My son is going to be built like me. He'll be a real man."

"So Alice is having a girl? I couldn't imagine her with a boy, to be honest. She's so tiny herself, any son would tower over her by the time he was ten."

"I hope we do have a boy next time," Jasper admitted. "I wanted a boy this time, only because I still feel like females need protectors and my daughter won't have a big brother to be there for her."

"I'm sure Emmett's hulk of a son will step up," Bella suggested.

"I told him that. I told him to move his office to Port Angeles and come home so Rose and Alice have each other to lean on as the babies grow and stuff. They will need to have their closest friends home here again, don't you agree?"

"I want to come home, believe me, Emm. I just don't know if that will happen."

"Places," Esme called, tying the sash on Carlie's flowergirl frock. Bella looked at the eight year old and wondered how that had happened? A tiny baby when they left, and now this girl took her place. She had last seen her when she was six but the changes since then were startling. She really did look like the child she and Edward could have produced. It would also be easy to imagine this child came from him and Bree. She was small featured and heart shaped in the face, like both Bella and Bree, and she had long auburn curls in Edward's hair color.

There were slight differences, her mouth was neither his nor hers, but must have come from Elliot, a boy Bella had barely seen.

She certainly fit right into the Cullen family portraits, especially with Esme and Edward having such similar hair to hers.

Bella wondered if she herself would ever get to have a child. If Edward didn't want her back, she imagined she would mirror her father's life and just live alone. If nobody could take the missing partner's place, then settling was not something she would ever want to do.

They lined up, and she stifled a grin as Rose sucked in her stomach and imagined herself slim and dainty again. Alice laughed and slapped at her friend with her bouquet.

"Rose, we can all tell, just relax and be proud."

Bella walked the women towards their waiting other halves then stood back a step and the preacher went through what he would say tomorrow.

"Rings," he said and Bella pulled them from her pocket and handed them over. In the actual ceremony, that would be Edward's job but he wasn't here.

The dinner went off well, with Bella sitting beside a well known companion, an empty chair where Edward should be sitting, and she was glad once the final plates were taken away and the guests filed outside.

Charlie had attended as a guest so she kissed the two couples, and her once almost in-laws and Carlie, and left with her Dad.

"I always expected you and Edward to get married at college," Charlie said as Bella slid into the cruiser.

"We did attempt to , twice but it never worked out, as you know."

"You should have tried harder. He did come home sometimes."

"Never for a whole weekend," Bella replied. She felt quite ill, sick with envy at her friends being so happy and sure and trusting, that they would be getting married the next day. It was entirely possible she would never get married herself now.

She drank a coffee in the familiar kitchen with Charlie then headed to bed. She really felt like she may have made the wrong decision, agreeing to be Head Bridesmaid. If Edward appeared with a girl on his arm tomorrow, she would break down in front of everyone.

She took a sleeping pill, something she had been forced to resort to since she left New York, and curled up in her childhood bed.

Hours later, Bella opened her eyes and tried to see in the pitch darkness of her bedroom.

"Edward? Edward!" she cried happily at the body curled around hers, for she would know that body and that scent anywhere.

Lips found hers and she lay flat on her back and let him cover her body with his as their lips fused and refused to part.

When it seemed blacking out was the better option than parting, she felt him pull back and gasp in some oxygen.

"Bella. My Bella."

She reached for the bedside light and he grabbed her hand instead.

"Don't. Let's just lie here in the dark and enjoy just being together again."

"I just want to see your face," she objected. "I haven't seen you for a year, Edward."

His hands roamed up and down her back and he lay his head beside hers and pulled her onto her side so he could feel the connection physically from head to toes. He placed one hand on the small of her back and the other on her backside and held her tightly.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know, I've missed you too. Every day. Every night."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I would have thrown it all in except you said you wouldn't come back to me if I did."

"I couldn't let all those hard years be for nothing. You have nearly made it, Edward. Three weeks more and you are done."

"Come back to me. Come live here in Forks and let us be what we were before."

"I want that. I want it more than anything," Bella replied, and stroked his back. She frowned, he was thin, so very thin. His usually nicely covered frame had changed and she could feel bones.

"Are you okay, Edward? You aren't ill?" she asked, alarmed.

"Not really. I just can't cope with us being apart."

"I'm turning on the light. I need to see you."

Bella sat up and pulled Edward to a sitting position and her eyes roamed over his body as she gasped at his face, so drawn and thin, he looked older, and so tired. The bags under his eyes were dark purple against his pale skin. His hair had been cut too short, and didn't suit him.

His jaw was more pronounced with no fat at all.

"Edward, what's happened to you?" she cried out.

"Nothing. This is just me, without you. I can't handle it, Bella. I need you to come home to me."

"I'm here, Edward. I'm back. I had no idea you needed me so much."

And in that moment, Bella knew she would take him back without conditions, without even asking a single question, because he needed her and once upon a time, she had agreed to forever.

**I had no intention of keeping these two apart but I wanted to fix them so it had to happen. But I didn't make you suffer! Have a good weekend.**


	17. Chapter 17

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 17

Bella awoke and smiled as she realised where she was and who she was with. Edward was still sleeping and clearly he had no need to resort to sleeping tablets. He was still deeply asleep but when she attempted to slip from his grasp, he tightened his arms around her body and murmured indistinctly, but she knew what he as saying.

"Don't leave me, Bella."

She felt guilty and sick at how he looked, knowing it was mainly down to her but her life had been impossible that last year with him and had she stayed, she would have ended up leaving him completely, permanently as the rot continued to eat away at what was left. This way she had gone before she turned angry and resentful and it made her believe they did have a chance.

What had happened since she left seemed irrelevant and she felt somewhat that she had no business asking him, seeing she had been the one to leave. We all do what we have to to survive, she knew that more than most.

They really hadn't talked last night, as joyous as she had been to have him in her bed, he was beyond exhausted and there had been no question of whether their love making would resume. He needed to sleep. That was the Edward she knew, and still loved.

The Edward that always needed to sleep.

She really needed to visit the bathroom so she sat up and took his arms away and lay a pillow in her place.

He frowned and grumbled in his sleep and his mouth bit down upon the pillow in somnolent rage.

Bella laughed quietly and crept away.

Charlie looked up as she walked downstairs, her ablutions finished and the smell of coffee luring her to make a pit stop in the kitchen before returning to her bed.

"So, I did do the right thing, letting him in last night? He was frantic and it seemed the wiser option than making him wait until morning."

"It's fine, Dad. It's Edward. He will always be welcome in my bed. Did you two talk?"

Charlie smiled and blushed a little. "He did beg me to tell him if you were alone or if there was any reason he couldn't just go upstairs and lay beside you. I reassured him you hadn't moved on, hadn't met anyone else."

"And you know that because?"

Charlie shrugged. "Because you are my child and I have always read you like a book though you prefer to pretend otherwise. I always knew you were in love with him, much as that seemed the very opposite to what was good for you back then. And I knew despite everything, he was the one person I could count on to take a bullet for you. The brothers always looked after you but only Edward would have died for you."

"I'm glad he never had to. I know what you mean. Jasper would have gladly gone to prison over James' death, it didn't bother him. He never factored in the price he might have to pay, all he cared about was saving Alice. I guess that is what love is."

"You need to fix things, Bells. I can tell you from personal experience, love like that happens to each of us once in a lifetime. There are no others waiting out there who could ever take the place of your true soulmate. Sure, there are others you could live with and even have a family with, and love in a paler way, but , yeah, true love like this comes your way only the once. You have to decide if just forgetting the past couple of years is a reasonable price to pay to have that love back."

"Do you know something?" Bella questioned.

Charlie shrugged. "I know nothing at all. I just know men. He's still young and one presumes virile, who knows where he sought comfort? Does it matter, in the greater scheme of things? So long as he left nothing behind to come back and kick him in the teeth in the future. You know he only ever wanted to be with you. And you left him, Bella. I know you had to save yourself but you did leave when he needed you most."

"It didn't seem that way at the time. We never saw one another, I don't see why my leaving made such a void in his life."

"Because before that, he knew you were there and that was enough. That kept everything ticking over for him, just the knowledge he was loved and you were waiting for him."

"And it wasn't enough for me. Making me selfish and cruel," she sighed.

"No, Bells. It made you human. I remember when Carlisle told me how he and Esme had lived apart for the last two years of his training and how he feared he would never get her back but she was like you. Just waiting for the right time. And it turned out okay for them, didn't it? You and Edward can fix the puzzle and put the missing pieces back together." Charlie was right, the past was just that, the past.

This was now. And this could be forever. She could ask questions and demand answers and allow them to scar her and walk away, superior that she had never slipped but her pride would not keep her warm in her bed at night.

Edward would.

He was lying there, newly awake, waiting for her to return and she put down his coffee and sat beside him on the bed. Edward looked up at her and smiled, and Bella discarded her own cup as well onto the bedside table and lay beside him.

"I really need you. If I have to face them all and be in the wedding party and not collapse, then I need to know we are okay," he pleaded.

Bella threw her oversized Tshirt off and felt oh so familiar warm lips on her throat and she smiled and surrendered herself to him. She knew she was placing her safety in his hands and she had to trust he had been tested and was clean. He'd known about this wedding for at least the four months she'd known, so he had been prewarned and could have timed the tests to know before he came home that he was all clear.

She was literally placing her life in his hands. Edward would never harm her, she had to believe that.

He closed his eyes and sighed in happiness as he entered her, then he opened them again and his emerald eyes gazed into hers as his body moved inside her and she grabbed onto him and let the old needs surface and let the old satisfaction fill her empty body, and her newly awakened soul.

"I love you, my Bella," he cried as he rocked, his arms tightly circling her.

X~x~X

"The wedding party have to meet and get dolled up at your parents house at noon. Five whole hours of being primped and painted and God knows what other tortures those witches have in store for me. You guys are so lucky. A little hair gel and a nice suit and you are done," Bella said, gathering the now cold coffee and taking it downstairs while he finished dressing. Their shower had brought back as many old habits as the bed. Her body glowed and she couldn't help the smile on her face, it refused to dim at all.

Famous last words. Rosalie herself answered their knock at the Cullen's door and she grabbed Edward and screamed for Alice to come and see him, NOW.

Alice looked as shocked as Bella had felt and Rose came up with a solution.

"The make up artists are here already, go sit in their chair and have the whole works. The face pack, the moisturiser, and be prepared, Edward, you will be wearing more make up than us, the brides. Do NOT fight it."

"Fine, take me to your torture squad," he replied.

"Edward, Emmett and Jasper are up there. We can't see them today, before the wedding," Rose scolded.

"Oh, so we are keeping one rule unbroken?" Edward checked. "And did you sleep apart last night?"

"Day, Edward. Wedding day. There's no rules about the night before. I turned my back and I didn't even look at Emmett this morning while he was..."

"Too much information," Alice growled and pushed Edward towards the staircase. "Your room, I'm sure you can find it even if it has been eight years since you last stepped inside it."

Jasper didn't look too ridiculous in the green avocado face mask but Emmett was a different kettle of fish altogether. His mask was a delicate shade of baby pink and seemed to be made from marshmallows. His thick black curls were gelled and being held in place to dry on matching large pink plastic hair rollers. Edward swallowed the laugh that threatened to leave his lips as his large brother bounded towards him, arms open to pull him inside for a hug. It was like being attacked by an overweight crossdresser.

"Eddie, my brother, you made it, and in one piece," Emmett boomed. Jasper removed the slices of cucumber from his eyes and smiled. "You look like shit," Emm boomed, holding his brother at arm's length and looking him over.

"Yeah, but he looks like happy shit," Jasper smirked.

"I'm here to be painted up and made pretty, if these ladies can do actual magic," Edward said, sitting down in the only spare chair. A woman approached and ran her hands through his short but thick hair and she sighed.

"You haven't given us a lot to work with, and I am going to go down to the Girl's room and borrow some concealer, but I think we can do something. The underlying bone structure is excellent."

Edward was glad when she took her hands away, only Esme and Bella had ever been allowed to play with his hair. He felt a little violated.

By the time they were done with him, he had to admit the make up was cleverly done, very subtle, hardly noticeable unless you were standing up very close and personal. He pulled back when the woman attempted to smear a lipstick across his lips.

"Relax, it's just a clear lip balm, it will just make your lips look shiny and kissable," she promised. He gazed in the mirror at the reflection looking back at him. He'd never really bought the whole 'beautiful' tag he'd been assigned, but he had to admit, he looked a Hell of a lot better than he had just an hour earlier. She'd even managed to tease and gel his hair into perfect order, for possibly the first time in his entire existence.

Edward dressed and headed down to the second floor to check on Bella and he paused at the door of the bedroom the three girls were in and gaped. Bella's hair had been braided and woven and pulled around like a halo on top of her head, and small pink rosebuds and blue cornflowers had been intertwined through it. But most of it was hanging freely down her back, like he preferred it. Her eyes were smoky and enticing, and her cheeks slightly blushed by nature. not artifice.

Her lips were soft and shiny and she smiled at him and his heart flipped.

He walked to her side and took her hand, falling down onto a single knee.

"Marry me, Bella."

Silence filled the room and all eyes turned to Bella.

"Now? Today?" she gasped, taking his hand in her own.

"Today," Edward confirmed.

"Oh yes, please, today!" Alice laughed, jumping up and down on the spot, her hands holding the little bulge safely. "It's perfect, all three of us together."

Rose stood and walked to the closet and opened it, staring at the beautiful first gown made for her wedding before this infant had made it's presence obvious. She touched the silk underslip, covered in white lace, and took it from the hook.

"You could wear this," she offered generously. It was the most beautiful garment she had ever owned but better it be worn by Bella than stay inside a closet forever.

"Um, it wouldn't be legal, we haven't signed the papers or even got the papers," Bella replied. "And we've been apart and we need time to reconnect..." she objected weakly.

"Huh, you lived together for six and half years. You know everything there is to know about one another. And the paperwork was done for the first aborted wedding ceremony. It will still be on file. Please Bella," Alice begged.

"Honeymoons are excellent places to reconnect, I imagine," Rose added with a chuckle.

"Edward has to go back to finish, he has three weeks to go," Bella reminded them.

"So, the honeymoon is delayed until then. We can still get married. Please. Marry me, Bella."

Bella smiled and slid into his arms and kissed the shiny gloss from his lips.

"Okay. You win, you all win. We have no rings.."

"I do, I still have them," Edward replied and he slipped the diamond ring she had left behind when she left, back where it belonged on her finger and kissed her hand. "I promise to love you every single day of forever. I never stopped loving you. I've loved you since I was seven years old."

"I guess carlisle could walk us all down the aisle," Rose suggested.

Edward shook his head. "I have a better idea."

X~x~X

The music began and the guests turned to look as the three handsome men at the front turned and smiled at their girls. Rose walked on the left, holding onto Carlisle's arm and Bella held his other arm, and her father's arm as well. Alice was on the right, on Charlie's other arm, and the five just barely fitted as they strolled down the aisle.

The two father's paused at the front, in front of the preacher and handed their girls to the right groom.

"Dearly Beloved..." he began.

X~x~X

"Thank God that's over," Jasper drawled, pushing his fingers through his blond curls and freeing them from the grip of the gel, letting them blow free in the gentle breeze.

He took out a packet of cigarettes and offered them to his brothers. Emmett grabbed one and lit up, Edward scowled then gave in and took one as well. He'd let them return to be his crutch the last year or so but he would free himself of the addiction again, and soon.

Jasper lit the two cigarettes and the men blew smoke into the cooling air.

Their wives were still on the dance floor, being passed from one set of arms to another.

"All those bastards want our women," Jasper sighed.

"Yes, but we have them. They chose us," Emmett smirked. "they know us, and know all our bad habits and secrets, yet they chose us," he said in wonder.

"Does Bella know all your secrets, Edward?" Jasper asked, looking away, out into the forest.

"I don't have any secrets she doesn't already know about," Edward frowned. He looked quizzically at his brother.

"Oh, so you told her who you have been screwing since she left and she forgave you," Jasper said.

Edward choked on his cigarette smoke and tossed it to the ground, grinding it out with his heel.

"Jasper, you have no concept of what the last two years have been like. If I hadn't needed to piss, I would have forgotten I even had a dick. And I would never cheat on Bella. You really don't get how much I love her, do you?"

"Good for you, brother," Emmett stated, tossing him a high five.

Edward turned and watched his wife as Charlie moved with her around the floor, and he knew Bella would never have doubted him surely. She knew his love was unconditional and eternal.

Jasper stubbed out his cigarette and tapped on Charlie's shoulder and Edward sought out Alice, and took her into his arms.

"Good one, Cullen. You fixed her and yourself in one romantic move," Alice said as Edward danced her to the side, searching for his wife and brother.

"He remained true and more importantly, he thinks you never doubted that for a minute," Jasper said quietly into Bella's ear.

"Really?" she smiled, kissing Jasper's cheek. "I knew he would never hurt me deliberately, I should have trusted him completely. Don't ever tell him what I said, please."

"Bella, I've had your back since we were kids, why would that end now? Emmett and I will always be here for you, even if we are redundant now."

"I'll always need you, Jasper, never doubt that," Bella replied.

Edward swept by and handed Alice to her husband and took Bella into the right arms.

"Thank you, so much. For marrying me, for trusting me. I will continue to love you until the day I die," he swore. "You are the most beautiful bride ever."

"And the only not one who isn't pregnant," he added a little sadly.

"I guess, technically, that is true, the egg hasn't implanted yet," Alice said, smiling at Bella. "I know these things, just trust me. It's fertilized and is searching for a soft spot to land," she grinned.


	18. Chapter 18

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 18

Bella lay across their bed in the NY apartment and rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Yes, I do realise it's unprofessional of me, and yes, you could make sure I never work again but the thing is, at this point I just don't care. I am not coming back and to be fair, I did just move to LA without protest when you decided to base the magazine there instead of here in New York. I took the job because it was based in NY. You changed that, I accepted it and went along but you know I've never been happy about the move."

Edward lay beside his wife, playing with her long tresses and twirling them in his fingers. He leaned in and kissed her neck and she glared and rolled away onto her back, which was just the move he had counted on. He hovered over her naked, fresh from the shower body and undid the tuck in the top of her towel with his teeth, baring all of her to him.

He contemplated where to begin and decided her belly button looked good so he kissed it gently then licked around it and smirked when Bella growled quietly.

"Okay, Natalie, we agree to disagree. But I won't be back and you know Nikki can walk into my job and keep it flowing, she does cover for me every holiday break. As galling as this is to you, my husband comes first. I know that's against every belief you hold dear to your feminist heart, but it is the way it is. Thank you, I appreciate it."

Natalie may be ' woman, hear me roar' but she went home to an empty bed or a hook up and never let any man into her heart for fear she would 'lose herself', whatever that meant. Bella knew there were a lot of worse things in the world than being lost in Edward.

Maybe she was setting the feminist movement back thirty years but she enjoyed feeling loved and protected and she had not liked her independent life away from him at all.

It hadn't made her feel fulfilled, just empty.

Millions may disagree but to her, life was all about finding your soulmate and living your life the way you wanted to, no matter how unacceptable it may be to her fellow women. It always amused her that women like Renee had fought so hard for women's right to choose their own paths in life yet they still sneered when someone like her chose husband and home and family over some 'brilliant career'. If it was true freedom of choice, they should be open to every pathway.

She closed the phone and lay it beside the bed as Edward moved southward and spent some time licking her mound, ignoring her open legs and her arching pelvis.

"Impatient, so impatient," he murmured. "So, are you unemployed? You didn't have to quit, we could have moved to LA in two weeks time. I can work in any hospital, Bella. We don't have to go home to Forks right away."

"As I keep saying, I want to go home. I never wanted to stay away longer than necessary and it won't feel like home anywhere else. Now I'm a housewife, you have to support me and bring me flowers when I cook a special dinner."

"Speaking of special dinners, you taste amazing," Edward sighed. He couldn't get enough of her though God knew he had tried this past week. He was so buzzed he was performing better than the colleagues who were high on drugs to keep them awake. When he slept, he slept like the dead but before that happened, he always made love to his Bella, and cursed it had to be a short session, because he so wanted long and lazy sex back.

"You need to go to work," Bella sighed, glancing at the clock.

He'd changed nothing. The empty gaps were still here, he hadn't taken over any of her spaces.

He moved down and sucked in her clit, no time to waste this morning. No long, slow licks to build up the sexual tension, just awesome sucking skills as he teased her with his tongue until she screamed.

"God, Edward."

"Thank you, I answer to either," he replied, smacking his lips together. "My favorite breakfast."

"Now come and eat some actual food," she ordered. He hurriedly downed his coffee and grabbed the egg and bacon sandwich and headed for the door.

Bella kissed his warm mouth and waved him off then wondered what to wear today. Being naked was only good when Edward was at home to enjoy that.

Much as she was happy to be back and determined to make this marriage not only work but be the best marriage Forks had ever seen, she felt a little strange about not working. She'd worked for four years and quite enjoyed most aspects of her job and nothing like this would be available in Port Angeles.

The local newspaper had offered her part time work already, once Charlie had announced to all and sundry that she was coming home, and the library wanted her to take over so Mrs Jenkins could finally retire, and she was seriously considering taking both positions.

They would keep her busy a few days each week and if Alice was right, how hard did she want to work anyway?

She would be staying home once this possible baby arrived, no creches for her child. She didn't see the point in having a family and palming it's care off onto others.

She wanted kids because she liked kids and wanted to really know her own.

She wanted to whole family thing that she had been deprived of. Mom in the kitchen making cookies and taking the kids to visit the grandparents, cousins coming over to play while she and Rose and hopefully, Alice all drank coffee and talked about the best fabric softeners.

As she dressed, she planned her day.

Edward had eaten at the hospital for so long, there really was nothing here in the apartment and they'd lived on takeaways this week but she wanted to cook, so she must shop.

And she was taking the bank cheque back and depositing the money back into her account. She sensed he would really be hurt if she offered him the money now. Even him knowing she had ever entertained the idea they could be done would scar him.

Emmett had uttered a harmless sentence containing the words "when you and Bella were split up" and Edward had overreacted quite harshly, insisting they had never broken up, merely lived apart for work reasons. Clearly he could not cope with any extra stress still and Emmett had apologised, and backed off.

Anyway, now they were married, what was hers was his, and vice versa, it didn't matter which account it was in. She would have her name changed at the bank, too. She got a buzz every time she called herself Bella Cullen.

None of this modern crap where girls kept their father's names, for her. She was Edward's partner, completely and she was proud to take his name.

A wave of dizziness hit her and she caught onto a chair and waited it out. She must ask Edward if this was a sign of early pregnancy. Her nipples were tingling but who knew if that was merely from overuse. He couldn't leave her alone, even in his sleep.

It was just reaction.

He looked so much better though he had a long way to go to get back to what he had been and home cooking was necessary to bring about any changes.

To her surprise, she enjoyed her day and was home cooking his favorite dish when the text came through. He had to stay and work late.

She replied that it was fine, she understood and she ate alone and faced the fact this would be the way it was at times. There would be occasions when he covered for Carlisle and did long days and was on call nights as well. He would miss birthday parties and rush away from picnics before eating, and leave her to pack up and take the kids home alone, but that was the nature of his job.

So long as she remembered he was out there, saving lives, easing other people's pain, delivering new lives into the world, she could cope.

It wasn't as if he was leaving to party with the boys or go to casinos.

She knew he would be there as much as he could and that would be enough.

He crept into bed in the early hours and Bella spooned her body around his as he snored softly the moment his head hit the pillow. She'd felt his lips on her throat as he kissed her goodnight and she lay and let his body steal her warmth.

This was all that mattered, in the long term. He would always come home to her again.

During the final days she cooked reheat-able meals and fed him whenever he appeared, and

packed all his belongings into boxes for the move home.

In the final week she went to LA and cleared out her desk and her apartment and had everything shipped to Forks.

Natalie was over her abrupt resignation and wished her well and the staff in the office threw her a small leaving party and she cut the cake with the threat of a tear or two.

She would miss these friends she had made, who had been there for her when Edward was far away. But she had no regrets and she hurried back to NY and was wrapped in Edward's arms the moment the passengers filed through the doors.

He hadn't slept well the two nights she'd been gone and the food she'd left was still in the fridge.

Things would change, as soon as they got back to Forks.

X~x~X

The plane ride home felt right and she looked out for Charlie, knowing he wanted to meet them and drive them home. She had no sooner walked off the plane and breathed the fresh, damp air of her hometown, when she was hit with a bout of nausea that had her fleeing for the ladies room in the airport.

Edward burst inside the room behind her, rushing to her side, holding her hair back as she lost her lunch.

"I guess this means Alice is right," he said gleefully, then immediately he adjusted his face to one of caring and concern as she glared at him. "Sorry, Babe. It's just that this is the dream I've had for so long now. To be married to you, to be home with our families and to be waiting for our first baby. We have it all, Bella. It's all been a long and winding road that led to here and now, and I couldn't be happier."

He assured her the sickness was a good sign, lots of important hormones were flooding her system and keeping the embryo safe and firmly attached. She smiled weakly. Of course she wanted that but this was such a rapid progression. From single and independent to married and pregnant in such a short time. She was adjusting, but she admitted to herself, unlike him, she hadn't known it would all happen this way. He clearly had more faith than she did.

She had no regrets other than leaving him in the first place and he was determined to overlook that blasphemy, so she lay back and let him hold the cold compress to her forehead as Charlie drove them home.

Edward had been impossible to pin down about where they would live until they found a house to buy that they both liked.

He shrugged and said Charlie would probably be fighting with Carlisle over that, they should just wait and go live with the winner of the bare knuckle boxing.

Instead, her father only smirked when Bella asked which house they were headed for and he took a road out past the edge of town and pulled up at a newly built white house, with dormer windows upstairs and big bay windows down, and a beautiful garden full of wildflowers surrounded the house itself.

"This is my wedding gift to you," Edward said, opening the door and helping her out.

The Cullen family waited out the back and Bella wandered around in a daze. The yard was cleared and contained only soft green lawn and a smattering of bluebells dotted here and there, but there was a white summerhouse in the backyard and a triple garage, no doubt for Edward's cars. The house itself was a fairytale come true.

She smiled as she entered the kitchen and turned to her beaming husband.

"My kitchen," she murmured and looked around. Years ago, they'd played a game some nights where each drew their idea of the ideal kitchen, bathroom, sitting room etc and as she toured the house, some of the rooms were hers and some were his. She was not surprised to find his bathrooms had won. Large and open plan and luxurious as opposed to the small pretty rooms she'd designed, she did spot compromises though.

Both the main bathrooms contained claw footed roll top bath tubs and the windows were the push open variety with white wooden divides in between the stained glass panels.

They were pretty. The dominant color scheme was white, everywhere, but the feature tiles had small bouquets of pink rosebuds with little blue and yellow blooms . The curtains were white background with matching floral print in the kitchen and bathrooms, and the large laundry room at the back. The guestroom was large and airy and looked into the backyard. It had it's own en suited bathroom.

The sitting room looked out at the front and was furnished in soft blues the ever present white, and only the playroom leading off it was brightly colored.

The music room contained Edward's white grand piano and had French doors that opened to the side yard where the rose garden abounded.

He took her hand and led her up the wide open staircase.

The bedrooms were adorable. One was soft baby blue with white trim and blue floral curtains, the other pale pink and white. Perfect rooms for their babies. A smaller playroom sat between the two children's bedrooms and an adult retreat/sitting room separated the children's domain from the main bedroom.

Their bedroom was enormous and all white. Even the bedspread was shining white with a thick white lace overlay. Sheer white curtains billowed at the windows, and the room was lit by two ornate white electric candelabras.

The floors were pale polished wood, and were the only other color and she walked around, touching the pretty accessories on the mantel and shelves and turned to Edward in disbelief.

"This wasn't done in three weeks. This must have taken months."

He shrugged. "We were always going to be married and need a home. The Dads watched over the build. Charlie designed the gazebo, he insisted you always wanted him to build one. And Mom did the interior decorating. I sent them all our sketches and Dad had an architect draw up the house from them. I listed the must-haves you were always most passionate about and the few firm wants I had, and this is the result."

"So, you were having this built even while we were..."

"living apart for work, yes," Edward finished.

Bella melted into his arms and he kissed the top of her head.

"Only you, my Bella. There could have never been anyone else for me. I had to believe. I had to cling to the hope you would come home to me one day and we would live here and raise our family here and have that perfect life. And we will."

Bella stroked that perfect face and kissed him gently.

"Thank you Edward. For keeping the dream alive when I didn't."

"It was only a dream if it was with you. It would have been a nightmare without you," he stated and pulled her up for a kiss that could have set the world aflame.

They went downstairs and Bella thanked everyone for their help and belief in them, and Carlie took her to see the vegetable patch she had helped her Mom establish down the back.

"Edward did nearly lose hope, after you first left. Mom and Dad and I went to stay with him for a few weeks and he was terrible. He wouldn't speak, or eat and he kept working and Dad had to threaten to report him. Then Mom and I stayed on for a few months and I did home school by correspondence.

We didn't leave until he started talking to you again, on the phone in his lunch break. Mom said he had turned the corner and whatever happened, he was giving his all and now we just had to wait and see if it was enough. I'm glad you came back. They all delayed the weddings until Edward was almost finished. Rose insisted it had to happen when it did, before people began to notice her belly. Edward wanted to delay it for another six weeks.

He thought he might need time to convince you to marry him. Silly Edward."

"Silly Edward," Bella echoed.

She felt a wave of dizziness and sat down, in the dirt and smiled at Carlie and assured her it would pass. It was just her niece or nephew reminding them all of it's existence.

"So, we need to make a playground area and the fences aren't finished yet but they will be soon. Edward wanted to show you everything today, complete or not."

Edward came and found them and helped Bella up and dusted down her jeans.

"Come and eat, Mom has filled the cupboards with food and prepared lunch for us all. Come on, Carlie. It's Mom's meatloaf."

Carlie ran ahead and Bella held on to Edward's arm.

"You realise she has the name that would have been perfect for our baby. Carlie, like Carlisle and Charlie put together."

"We could combine the Mom's names, maybe," Edward suggested.

"Esmenee? Renesmee? Nope," she replied. "Doesn't work for me."

"What about Cammise? Cami for short?" she suggested. "For a girl only, obviously.

"How did you come up with that?" he asked.

"I thought of it ages ago. Using your initials and mine. E A M C and I M S. Cammise Cullen, it's unique."

"I guess that makes her all ours and we won't have to worry about Alice stealing our name."

"I don't think anyone will steal it, Edward. Cami Cullen. I can imagine her already."

"Just look at Carlie and you won't go far wrong," he laughed.

X~x~X

Edward sat back and watched as Bella helped his Mom clear away the used dishes and took the leftovers out to the fridge. They would be set for the next few days before having to venture to the supermarket themselves.

He was relieved she loved the house but he knew deep down she would.

This house had been all he had to cling to in the dark days when Bella was gone. Even though they had spent little time together, what time they had shared had been the bright spots in his dark sky.

He had come very close to just walking away and abandoning his medical career but she had refused that option so he had stuck it out and lived for the weekly photos from Carlisle and Charlie as they shared the responsibility of overseeing the built.

Naturally, they had each come up with various adaptions to the plan and had emailed Edward almost daily, until he had allowed Carlisle to design and outfit the garages and workshop behind them, and Charlie had drawn up and discarded a hundred different summerhouse plans before deciding the first plan had been the best after all.

Both Dads had dragged Edward out to see their work up close and explained why they had the structures built just there and facing south and a million details he had nodded and smiled at and promptly forgotten.

All he cared about was that he and Bella were finally home.

The garden had been a work in progress for the past eighteen months so it had settled in and grown quite amazingly and he was happy Esme had gotten to express herself in the garden yet left room for Bella to adapt it to however she preferred.

She would need some hobbies as she waited for the baby, even with her two part time jobs.

They both agreed she would not work once she reached six months pregnant, he wanted her well rested.

Carlisle sat down beside him and looked him in the eye. "Don't take this the wrong way, but we can wait. I think you need to take some time to solidify with Bella and look after yourself and her, and come work with me when you feel ready. The last few years have been very tough and you need to be in top shape when the baby arrives. If there's one piece of wisdom I can pass on about babies, it's sleep, now, while you can.

You are lucky you have money and don't need to bring in an income, you should just stay home and heal yourself, son."

"But Bella will be working. She starts at the library next week and the newspaper work she can do online, but she will be occupied. I don't think I can sit around and do nothing."

"You have a nursery to assemble and furnish, you have fences to build and a playground to design and create. At your own pace. I think some time working outside with your hands would do you good. Let your brain concentrate on just one thing. Just the job at hand."

"It sounds good, my brain is still absorbing facts and trying to make sense of techniques. I need to refresh a little before I become a proper doctor. But a break first would be good. I'll talk to Bella about it. There's just the being alone part I don't relish. I've been alone enough."

"Jasper's coming home. He and Alice have decided to take career breaks and come back to Forks. You can count on every available hand being needed to renovate whatever house Alice decides is 'just perfect, if only...' and Jasper would love to spend some time with you. You could work together here some days and at theirs, others. We have all missed your company, Edward. And Bella's. Everything happened in such a rush and now you need to sit back and adjust and get used to living together again. I bet you have forgotten every little annoying habit Bella has, and she will find it a little hard too, after living alone so long. Think about it, and let me know."

"If Bella agrees, I'm all for it. I know I need to get back into my old habits, the sleeping and eating properly and giving up smoking yet again. I can't smoke around her, so that should be a great incentive to stop."

"Your mother wants to teach you about plants and how to maintain this garden she made, so don't imagine for one minute it will be a year or two of sloth, you will be working. And once that baby arrives..."

Bella agreed wholeheartedly. While she felt she needed to slow down workwise before quitting entirely, she understood Edward's need to walk away from medicine and rest before it became a major part of his life again.

He'd have years to establish himself before Carlisle retired. This break would do him good.

And not to forget, she'd be coming home to a spotless house and a cooked meal, always a bonus when the smell of raw food made her stomach feel so weak.

X~x~X

The first night home ha to be special and Edward handed Bella a small gaily wrapped package. She opened it warily and grinned at the Early Pregnancy Detection Kit inside.

"Tonight? I think we both know..."

"Just do it," he mock growled and waited for her to come out of the bathroom and hand him the stick.

"Three minutes, Edward. Show me what you can accomplish in three minutes."

He growled properly and set the stick down on the table and in thirty seconds, had them both naked.

By one minute, he was inside his wife, laughing into her brown eyes as she sucked in her lower lip and stifled a moan.

Somehow they lost track of time and it was well past three minutes before they paused long enough to look at the result.

A positive outcome all around.

**Epi to follow if you want one, say in reviews. Cheers.**


	19. Chapter 19

The Death Of Edward Cullen

Chapter 19/ Epilogue

"No, Cami, please don't. Give Daddy the hose and I'll..."

Edward quickly turned and faced away from his daughter and huddled over the twins in his arms as Cami directed the hose at him. He should have thought that through and turned it off first, he realised as he dashed inside and lay the babies on the rug, then returned to stop the flow of water.

"Come inside, now Daddy has three children to change before Mommy gets home and finds out how inept he is at supervising toddlers."

Bella stood silently in the doorway, chuckling as Edward ran around the yard trying to capture their daughter.

She lifted the twin who was crying the loudest and stripped off his wet clothes and wrapped him snugly in a warm towel fresh from the clothes dryer and lay him back on the floor, and started on son number two.

To think everyone thought they would have their work cut out for them as Bear and Good Baby, as their sister had labeled them, grew up. Bella hoped they would be easier than Cami had been. "High spirited" Charlie had decided she was, just about from birth.

Bella had considered quitting at one single child but Edward had insisted it was the fact Cami got too much attention and needed a sibling to share the limelight was her problem.

Bella thought the little girl was just a brat, like she had been at that age.

She tried to pin down the age she had changed and calmed down, after years of tormenting Jacob and decided she had probably been around eight.

So, only four more years to go.

Then of course, they had to factor in the years Edward had tormented her. Cami could have quite a way to go before she accepted her lot in life and settled.

Edward limped inside and deposited the child in front of her mother and rolled his eyes.

"I won. I caught her," he announced and Bella handed Good Baby over to his damp arms and starting stripping the clothes of an unrepentant Cami.

"I won, I hosed Daddy and the Bad Babies," she insisted as her mother rubbed her little body with a towel.

"You keep this up and you know what will happen? Mommy will have to take you to the hairdresser and have that lovely long hair cut short like a boys. How will you like that, Missy?"

She squeezed the water out of the long auburn tendrils that tended to curl prettily in ringlets when allowed to remain dry, and grabbed a wide toothed comb to sort out the knots.

She feared Cami might declare she wanted short hair, and Bella would probably cry herself if this beautiful hair was ever cut off.

The boys both seemed to be following their sister's lead and growing Edward's hair as well.

Bella loved it but Edward was already using it as an excuse to have a fourth child. He insisted they had to have one brunette, like her.

She was considering getting an auburn rinse put through her hair instead.

Three seemed to be a good number to her. Growing up an only child, she had longed for a sibling, but her secret wish for two children, one of each gender, had been an impossibility from the first scan during her second pregnancy.

Twins, and there wasn't even a family history.

And to think of the many hours she and Edward had spent, agonizing over names. Twin boys, she didn't want anything too cutesy that would embarrass them in years to come, but she wanted names with meaning.

Edward had surprised her by asking what she thought about naming one of them Josiah.

He'd come to terms with his childhood and felt passing on a family name to a child who had a lot better beginning than he had experienced could be a positive thing.

While there were still memories he couldn't make sense of, there were bright spots he now recalled, with his grandfather and he felt naming one son after the man was fitting. Then Cami had insisted the baby was named Bear and it had stuck.

Bear Cullen.

Bella had no names she really felt strongly about so Edward had named both boys. Good Baby was named Joshua, a name everyone liked and nobody had ever asked where he got it from.

He had fond memories of the only creature he had met named Josh, the dog who had welcomed him into it's cage and hidden him from his tormentor.

Josh would be pleased to be remembered, he was sure.

So Joey and Josh would hopefully answer to their own names in time, despite their sister's efforts.

He had hoped for a clone of his Bella but it seemed his genes were stronger than hers and three little auburn heads lay side by side on the brightly woven floor rug as Bella struggled to dress Cami. She had Bella's fire and determination, though she was possibly even more stubborn than her mother.

The teen years would be interesting. Maybe he would decide to specialise around then and hide away studying while mother and daughter clashed.

The boys were placid, when not being hosed down, and rarely cried, so it seemed they were easier so far but until they moved into toddlerhood, he wasn't tempting fate by boasting about their gentle natures.

Emmett's sons were both quietly spoken, well behaved children and Rose was due with their long awaited daughter any day.

Alice and Jasper had two girls and Alice decided two was her limit, in keeping with her 'never let the kids outnumber the parents' theory. Alice was already taking time each day to get back to designing clothes again.

It seemed everyone had gotten it wrong. Rose was Mother Earth, relaxed and happy staying home with her children, Alice had found it all a little boring and mundane and longed to get back into fulltime employment.

Bella was too busy to consider her options and Edward suspected had Cami been an only child, his wife may well have changed her mind and decided creches were cool.

She was happy with her current life, with the challenge of Cami and the blissful calm of Josh and Joey, but he was not about to push his luck. If she felt they were done at three, he would not push her. Of course, if she ever wanted to try again...

Cami leaned over and kissed Josh on the forehead then looked to make sure her father was watching and was impressed by her good deed, then she kissed Joey on the foot for good measure.

She did like the boys but they took some of her spotlight away. However, she was already considering that could be good. Mommy was always busy feeding and changing them and never seemed to notice the cookies that went missing, or the fact her best shoes were now props in the sandbox. She didn't like them anyway. Cami had heard her say paying that much for a pair of 'Bootins was just a waste. But they made good spades and she used them to dig her hole to China, which was coming along quite well.

Cry Baby Ariel was always running to her Mommy, Aunt Alice, to tell her what things Cami got up to but luckily Mommy was always too busy to listen in. The younger girl, Brielle, seemed more like she would be fun. She had pulled off the heads of many of the flowers in the garden last time she was here and Cami took that as a sign she may yet have a suitable playmate when the toddler got older.

Uncle Emm's boys intrigued her. They did this thing, appearing to be so well behaved and perfect gentlemen until there were no adults around, then the fun would begin. They could both climb fences and trees as well as she could herself, but whereas she inevitably ripped her dress or lost a shoe in the effort, they managed to always come out of their adventures spotlessly clean and all the adults were fooled.

Cami was considering this could be a good plan to copy but her temper and impulsiveness had not allowed her to imitate them as yet.

"They are such good boys, amazing little gentleman," Alice said as she patted the brothers and smiled back at their angelic faces.

Cami watched Tate slip a cake fork into his pocket and wondered what they would all be getting up to today, once the boys stopped the charade and came out into the garden.

Ashton was the funner brother, and being the eldest of them all, he could reach things that would be out of her grasp for another year or two yet.

They looked like giants to Cami who detested being 'small and dainty' as Grandma Esme always said.

Just wait until she grew as tall as Daddy, she would be able to reach everything.

Daddy had just come downstairs after his shower and change of clothing, but Cami had no clue why he needed a shower after she had soaked him with the hose. Water was water, he was already washed.

The adults sat around, drinking coffee and talking and Uncle Emmett scooped her up into his arms.

"Hey, Kamikaze, what have you been in trouble for so far today?" he asked.

"Um, hosing everyone and Mommy swatted my backside for jumping on the bed this morning."

"Really, you jumped on the bed? You should have a trampoline to jump on, that's way more fun," he laughed.

"Uh uh, Mommy and Daddy jump on their bed all the time, I hear them. Their bed squeaks," she announced and frowned as her mother blushed and her aunts and uncles laughed.

"Go open the door for Grandma and Grandpa," Edward suggested, and smirked at his wife.

As Cami ran for the front door, he smiled and whispered in Bella's ear, making her even redder.

"Lucky her room isn't close enough to hear the moaning. 'oh Edward, give it to me, Baby'" Emmett said in a high pitched voice.

By the end of the day when everyone left to go home to their own houses for dinner, Mommy had taken one look at Cami and decided her dress may as well go straight into the trash, and had followed through, tossing the shredded garment away.

Words such as 'tomboy' and 'reckless' were spoken as she was put into her pajamas and sent to bed straight after eating the horrid vegetables and chicken her mother had cooked.

"I hate eating dead chickens," Cami had protested, and Daddy had told her to just eat her 'dead vegetables' instead then.

The twins were in their cribs, asleep already and Daddy read her a single story and left her nightlight on as she lay wide awake, listening as Daddy chased Mommy up the staircase not long afterwards. She was tempted to open her bedroom door and remind them of the no running on the stairs rule but Mommy would probably tell her rules were for kids, not adults.

Which was very unfair.

X~x~X

Edward reached for his wife and she snuggled into his side and lay her head on his chest. Nowadays she knew all about exhaustion and being willing to swap anything else for the chance to sleep.

As good as the twins were, they were still a lot of work, not to mention Hurricane Cami.

She would run an entire army squad into exhaustion. Edward considered he probably had the easier life at the moment, even the weeks he was on call. Bella rarely got a break from all three offspring though now Charlie had retired, Cami was out in the boat fishing two or three times a week and keeping her 'Grumpy' amused.

He'd loved three females in his life. Renee, Bella and now Cami had joined the list as well. She reminded him of Bella as a child, and though he never mentioned it, now he could see some resemblance between Bella and her mother.

She did the same exasperated look Renee had done when their daughter had run amok. He still missed Renee, and knew nothing of her new life. She probably had no idea she was even a Grandmother, let alone three times over. It was her loss.

Wherever the woman had ended up, she could never have been as happy as he was, having done what he promised when Isabella Marie was born. He had promised to always be there for her and do his best, and he had.

He'd had to change his rigid ideas and adapt over the years but he was proud to know every decision he ever made had been in Bella's best interests.

He would die a happy man.

X~x~X

Bella snuggled in closer and Edward smirked. So, today would start the way he wished every morning could but few did. The twins had woken earlier and settled down again after feeding, and Cami was breaking her habits of a lifetime and sleeping in, all which meant there was some Mommy and Daddy alone time to share.

Bella smelt delicious, warm from sleep, fresh still from last nights shower, an aroma of vanilla and freesia still lingered on her flesh. He liked her flesh. He enjoyed smelling it, and licking it and kissing it and, yes, being surrounded by it.

He knew he was testing the waters but last night his dreams had been all about Bella delivering their fourth child, a little Bella clone and he wanted that baby so much, to round off the numbers and give Cami a sister.

And Bella was still drowsy and what the heck, how are four children more work than three?

She kissed him back with as much passion as he kissed her and she slid her legs apart to welcome him inside.

Edward paused and Bella opened one eye.

"You knock me up again and it will be your turn to stay home and play househusband, and look after them all until they are at school," she warned.

Edward sighed and reached for a silver foil packet. While medicine was a demanding career, he had no intention of taking over an even more demanding role instead.

The dream baby would remain just that.

A perfect little dream.

Who would never turn a garden hose his way.

THE END


End file.
